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Competition is a barbaric, insensitive ritual that reeks of social Darwinism. We cannot allow the fittest to survive on our pages. Your loss is someone else's gain, and your gain is someone else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute to the society and winners take away from it. Being a winner is unethical, while a society of losers is happy and striving as a collective. In the spirit of diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism our contests shall have no winners. Everyone is declared a loser, which in our book means an ethical team player.

The People's Cube in German?

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Comrades, I have great news!

Communist satire is alive and well in Germany! Yes, Germans have discovered the sense of humor!

The following link is Aktuelle Kamera covering the 60th anniversary of the GDR. My apologies, it is in German. No. Saxon. I will give the translation a shot.....

Anchorwoman:

Good Evening,

In honor of the 60th anniversary of the founding of the GDR (German Democratic Republic,) the State Council President Merkel and Vice President Steinmeyer announced the completion of another planned goal. The successful collectivisation of Commerzbank is an important step to secure the People's economy.

Reporter (thick Saxon accent)

Relief among the workers of the now People's Owned (VEB) Commerzbank. The successful collectivisation of the Commerzbank gives many of the comrades bank employees renewed reasons for Hope to finally be liberated from the hole of capitalist working conditions.

Anchorwoman

The measures undertaken as part of the Solidarity Pact West (the was/is a real Solidarity Pact East) are a great success! State Council President Merkel noted especially the successes of the automobile industry. 20 years after the reunification, production in the former Federal Republic of Germany (FRG) has remarkably almost reached the level of production in the East.

Reporter

For now, the consequences of decades of capitalist over-production cannot be overlooked. But thanks to the recently introduced shorter working days, the reduction of over-capacities is progressing quickly. The comrades workers are now happy about their early release from work. Furthermore, valuable means of production are preserved, so that soon we once again can enjoy the customary waiting times of 18 years per car.

Anchorwoman

The Peoples Owned Company (VEB) Deutsche Bahn (German Rail) is now another company contributing to the heightening of State Security. It was preceded by the Combinate Lidl (a supermarket chain) and the VEB Telekom's heroic measures against imperialistic class enemies.

Reporter

The VEB Deutsche Bahn was inspired by the successes of our Ministry of State Security. With the use of proven surveillance techniques the happiness of the workers as well as passengers was increased.

Anchorwoman

So much for the news. Now you will see "Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski meets..." this time Joseph Ackermann. The subject tonight is "money alone does not make you happy."

EMBEDDED VIDEO NO LONGER AVAILABLE

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Reminds me of the Soviet TV newscast (or a parody thereof). The woman's voice seems to be deliberately low, perhaps dubbed. What's the significance of a thick Saxon accent?

I'm sure some of the impact is lost due to the local context. I've had my share of frustration trying to make some Soviet humor work in English to no avail. The trick is to select the jokes that don't rely on linguistic and cultural context, and if they do, those must be at least some well-known details.

ein Deutscher ex GDR
This is so awesome!

But they've missed the now almost a 100% state owned HVB (VEB HypoVereinsBank)

I used to say something like "look that's just like in the GDR" when people where standing at 7 a.m. in front of an Aldi to get a cheap PC.

I'm lovin it.


greats from the socialist in g

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Genosse Deutscher!

Willkommen to the Cube! Have you reported to train station for next cattle car to gulag and re-education camp? Since you are ex-GDR, your service in the Free German Youth counts as credit towards your beet rations.

Comrade Red,

indeed, even though all socialism is international, there is still the pesky linguistic and cultural nuances which we MUST ERADICATE to be most equal!!!

West Germans always considered all East Germans to have a thick Saxon accent. Or in other words, you'd know instantly by their accent if someone was from the East (if they got an exit visa to the west.)

Incredulously, on a vacation to Lake Balaton in Hungary in the early 80's, our neighbors in the campground were from Magdeburg. NO ACCENT!!! Either they were trying to assimilate in order to flee the republic (Republiksflucht) or they were sent to spy on us by the Stasi. They drove a Lada WAGON, too! Clearly members of the equally upper echelants of The Party!

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Thanks! That was, in the words of Mr. Spok, fascinating.

Ein Deutscher ex GDR - welcome to the glorious collective! We trust you keep your proletarian shovel in good repair, displayed prominently on the wall of your hovel right next to your hammer and your sickle.

We wish you many happy returns from the Gulag.

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Comrade Red, that would be a hammer and compass for Comrade ex GDR. (Why a compass?! Have fun bringing in the sheaves with THAT!)

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I know, compass was part of the DDR emblem, to symbolize the unwashed toiling intelligentsia. It was a great tool to poke their eyes with when they looked too much at the west instead of their assigned quotas.

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I guess we did not make it easy on them, did we. LOL.

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Here's a great humorous clip made by some Germans who had a good knowledge of the USSR and the Russian language. It's called Karl Marx's vision of the future. The music is from a silly Soviet love song of the late 60s called "Landyshi" which here becomes "Karl Marx Stadt." It shows how happy socialist life is moving across the globe.

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I don't believe these are German singers. Their accents sound too Eastern European, perhaps Yiddish? It's funny nevertheless. They would make a good addition to the Cube.

Of course, Karl-Marx-Stadt really existed until 1990, when it reverted to Chemnitz, Saxony. I believe it still has some vestiges of its former glory, see below:

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