Our plans of ruling the world through the mentally challenged and comically illegitimate puppet George W. Bush have been a great success.

Our secret world government, the 3rd Capitalist Cabal Internationale, has reported that thanks to our Great Imperialist War, 95% of the world's supply of crude oil is now part of our monopoly holdings! We can raise gasoline prices with no consequences. Shareholders are happy and profits are up. Killing innocent civilians has never been so satisfying.

To the uneducated eye it would appear the Capitalist Class is doing well. But our very success holds the seeds of potential ruin. Unfortunately, the workers and the peasants have CNN, The New York Times, and The People' Cube! The last is the worst. It is comprised of socialist geniuses bent on welfare and poodle marriage - the lowest kind of lunatics who belong in an asylum for the criminally vile but sane.

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"Civilization is like an egg: the oppressed are the yoke and we, the oppressors, are the egg-whites. If we don't oppress and stand strongly enough against the rabble the masses will break out and spread viscid yellow goo all over us!"

- Anonymous capitalist

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There are two historical means by which we, the capitalist oppressors, can control the people's righteous wrath against us. One way is to tax ourselves to great hoopla, giving working classes a social safety net. As long as their scurvy impoverished conditions do not become too insufferable they won't rise up against us. But as soon as these noisome toilers fatten up from our trickle-down economics, and once they finish talking about diets, they will begin to use their spare time to organize and represent!

At that point we might consider taxing them more brutally, eliminating all their spare time and access to means of production. Taxes are a very potent weapon in our arsenal of oppression.

We need to tax the poor wisely. We haven't been. The latest tax report from the 3rd Capitalist Cabal Internationale states that the rich top 20% of society are paying 80% of the taxes! The top 1% pay 38% of all taxes! We are giving back to the workers and peasants too much of the wealth we've removed from their frayed overall pockets through merciless exploitation.

It is necessary to bribe workers with the share of our satanically immoral profits so as to prolong our reign by keeping them within a barely sustainable poverty. But we shouldn't allow them to have more free time and more money than we think they need. These purblind clowns already have too much leisure and stray cash while paying little or nothing to the despicable oligarchical government that oppresses them.

Taxes, mes amis, are the classical leeching price of any civilization! If we don't tax the poor hard enough, the egg of civilization will break and the messy revolution predicted by Marx and Engels will become a reality. We have trouble enough with reality. Capitalists! Bourgeoisie and other exploiting classes! Counter-revolution has become a pressing historical necessity! Tax the poor and delay the inevitable advance of the people' power! We have everything to lose but their chains!

Comrades!
It's obvious the Capitalist class is running scared. Thank you TPC for printing this foul vermin's insane reactionary rants. This is exactly the sort of thing they've been printing in their right wing magazines and chattering like attack monkeys over their right wing talk radio shows. Thank you for being so brave as to bring $.$. Halliburton to your pages. Differences are what unite us. Diversity gives us weapons! Thank you for your commitment to diversity! We will hang him in effigy at our next peace rally.

Mr. Halliburton,

It is obvious to any fool, that you hold a high degree of common sense. I could not agree with you more completely. At last someone who can represent the forgotten interests of the rich. After all, it is we who made this country, not Lennin. There is no shame, or sin, in being rich, despite what Liberals and Kommies want you to think.

Yes Mr. John... You made this country... By sqeezing the blood of peasents, workers and the poor contries...

Well, thank you. Compliments will get you far, pinko.
from the desk of $.$. Halliburton

I too think that $.$. Halliburton is on the right Track. He is not any also ran Robber Baron, but the real age modern one. At last, someone who has the guts to stand up for the oppressed rich. Next to him, he makes Bush look like a Schoolboy Socialist. Pull the strings a lot tighter on the Puppet, JP. Please! Kind of makes you wonder who are the real Rich and Robber Barons of the Present? Could it be the Kennedy Family, starting with Joe Kennedy as bootlegger mobster, and then moving on.org to Teddy? Or George Soros? Or the Kerry bunch, Heinz catsup inheritance and all. Or perhaps the Hollywood Rich? And why are the rich all in the camp of the liberals by a 2 to 1 margin? Is it because they all feel guilty because they are rich? And want their wealth redistributed? But deep down they will not do it themselves. Otherwise, they could just sign over a big check to the government at tax time. Yes the Rich liberals are Fakes and Phonies. Democrats are the Party of the Rich, no matter what they say. Republicans have become the Party of the Middle Class, the percentages are out there for anyone to check.

Tax the poor! But to pay for what? Give some examples! Like ---So Soros can buy expensive vintage soviet champagne to drink out of Jane Fonda's exercise sneakers at expense of oppressed subway panhandlers.

Sir, Mrs, Miss, Ms or whatever a person with the Username: Extra Lumpen is (for I cannot even imagine what sort of bizarre sexual Lefty morph you may be - ugh) - the reason for taxing the poor is contained and very well articulated in the above article. I realize it is difficult but you must overcome your public school education and learn to apply some mental discipline while staring at printed words and conceptualize that which you read.

-from the desk of $.$. Halliburton

$.$. Halliburton [ if that is your real name] Why are you interested in MY sex? Your hostility reveals that you are hiding your fears that YOU too are an Agendered Mesosexual. Get some therapy. Come out of your vault. Come to the Greenwich Village Holloween parade and frolic.
And how dare you insult my edumacation! I PASSED my Wasserman Test! And getting back to sexual perversity don't think the People's Agent X didn't see you making out with Lynne Stewart on a castaway couch on Ave. B last Monday night. That is until his night-vision goggles got steamed up. With all the money you sweat and tax from us subway panhandlers you and your kootchie girl should “Get a Room”. Just wait til Hillary seizes the Helm with proletarian vigor: YOU are at the top of the list for ten years at the United Federation of Teachers Re-education camp P.S. 132. Then you will wipe that smirk off your face and get rid of that chewing gum! Power to the People's Cube!

I LIKE MONEY

Well Mr. $.$. Halliburton, [ if that is your real name], since Comrade Betty and you love money so much why don't you invite her to share your rent controlled portapotty and you both could cut costs! "a better day is now in birth" when Hillary the Helmsthing makes sure the historic progressive steamroller crushes and flattens all you capitalistic parasites [ like Daffy Duck in episode #213]. Power to the Peoples Cube!

I'm a GUY you moron!!! watch MY movie (Kung Pow Enter the Fist) and it will be clear to you!!!!!

A Guy named Betty calling me a moron--- remindes me of my fifth grade teacher. ......"Kung Pow?" I had some of that with Brown Sauce and broccoli. I wasn't allowed into theatre with my meal to see your movie though. The management insisted I was a "risk". But why wouldn't you want to share $$ Halliburton's rent controlled Porta John--- As a plutocrat he has the wheelchair accessible model. Lots of room and it is paper eqipped That is better accomodations than your used too. He is not hot for you, he is hot for Lynne Stewart. You will have to leave the Porta John a few times a week so they can try and copulate. Don't worry you will be outside for two minutes max.

Well fortunatly for you, Extra lumpen, MY movie is out on video and DVD, so you can watch MY movie in the peace and comfort of your own home/ apartment/ box/ hole/ whatever the hell you might live in. (if you get it on DVD, it comes with the deleted scenes, and the original version of the movie whyere you can hear the old characters speaking in Manderin and the new characters say a bunch of random junk) as for the Porta John..., ummm... yeahh... money, I like money still...

I must Denounce capitalist pig $.$.Halliburton, as an evil money grubber reactionary that he is. The Party will purge his kind during the Revolution. These are the present day Robber Barons that are exploiting the masses. We must redistribute the wealth of the fifthly rich such as the capitalist pig $.$.Halliburton. He eats while the workers go hungary. His misdeeds are now being recorded by the Party. Redeem yourself now capitalist pig $.$.Halliburton and make a large donotation to The People's Cube or Communists for Kerry, before you find yourself on the wrong side of a shovel!

I own several shovel factories. If you wish to purchase shovels please contact my staff.
- from the desk of $.$. Halliburton

I would like to buy a few shovels...

No, it has to be a real Pentagon shovel, not one of those $.$. Halliburton knock-offs. When I am coronated...er inaugurated, all shovels will be union made (soviet style) and the taxpayers will pay $687.42 per shovel, which is more than fair. Those knock-off shovel units only cost $20.00 per unit and who in government is going to get rich off that? Nobody I tell you! And we're talking about the greater good!
By the way, how's Halliburton's stock doing? I've seemed to have misplaced my Blackberry.

Have your people talk to my people and shovels will be only the beginning. Coronation?, you got it. If you play ball we'll even get you the English Crown Jewels.
- from the desk of $.$. Halliburton

We can talk, but talk is just that ....talk. As you know know nothing talks louder and more clearly than money, so before we REALLY talk, a sizeable contribution to my 2008 campaign is in order. I'm not asking much, just double the sum from my 2000 senate campaign that you had donated. See, I'm fair and reasonable. I have a feeling we're going to become good friends, just keep it under your hat. I've got my Vast Left Wing base to consider.

Heck, I'd like to say a word or two about Haliburton but Cheney told me I couldn't.

W. wrote:Heck, I'd like to say a word or two about Haliburton but Cheney told me I couldn't.

Grow some nad....

Heil Hillary!!

Dammit George! I told you it was only online checkers only, nothing else. Your internet privileges have been suspended indefinitely. No TV in the Oval Office either.

Sorry. Hi $.$.!, it's your old pal Dick. I'm making sure you and all my friends get the biggest tax breaks possible. We are those with money and power and shouldn't have to share with anyone. Can't understand why you would have a column on a #$%^@ commie pinko website. Don't let them mother #$%ing Castro loving, leftists turn you from your capitalist ideals.

Your friend

Dick C.

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You'll not get our Crown Jewels.
They are essential to keep the state in existence.
The Kohi-noor diamond is itself being used as the axial bearing to ensure the rotation of the House of Commons; why do you think Emperor Blair looks so sick?
Soon, comrades, soon! The acid rain will eat away the very foundations of Parliament, and release the diamond forever! Come the Day!The Time! The Place! The moment! The day!The place.....uh, yeah!
And if you want to know why we are living in A Police State, look at the sign at New Scotland Yard!It rotates at the same speed!
The slaves that pedal the commons around are housed in Victoria Street.
Thankyou.
I need arother drik.

I have no quarrel with our capitalist counterpart Halliburtion and his suggestion to tacks us lowley uneducated servants of the state for what is mandated by the supreme leader is always right and can never be questioned, therefore if the premere stalin gives me less food stamps and diesel fuel my sacrafice must be for a greater cause, and if i were given more could I eat knowing there are children starving in new york under capitalism?

Neh Pain is Progress!

Long live state regulation