Comrades!

Vote for your favorite purge candidate for 2006.

Votes will be tabulated November 8th

....and remember!

It's not who gets to vote but actually who counts the votes!

(John Kerry and Jimmy Carter are inelegible)

I cast all my votes for Al Gore.

I can't believe I'm actually voting for a Democrat. I'm 50 years old and this is the first, and most likely, the only time I'll cast a vote for one of those slime balls. But I couldn't pass this up. If anyone should be tarred, feathered, and ridden out of the country on a rail never to be let back in it's that knucklehead. And that's the way I feel about it.

(Two other party members asked me to be their proxy in this vote. So I cast all three for Mr. No Controlling Legal Authority This is the Most Moral Administration I'm Proud of Bill Clinton Kyoto Treaty Sell the Red Chinese Our Secrets Stupid Self-Rightous Pompous Bombastic Insane Al Gore.)

It was a difficult choice, so many failures this year, so many failures. I am comfortable with my choice and can only hope that one day in the progressive world of tommorow, we have more efficient show trials, better paid executioners and star studded half time shows during the proceedings.

The choice for me was clear, Fancy Pants Pelosi. Dont get me wrong here, I love the progressive values of San-Francisco and I know she will enforce those values in legislation when she is elevated to Speaker. However, I must protest to the clear evidence that this surgically altered thing has been blowing its horn for to long now stealing away the limelight from Her Excellency H.R.C. She has also given orders to all Party faithful that she has first pick in a grandiose office, decadent drapery and other furnishings that are clearly in violation of Party doctrine for public figures (except Her Excellency and the few within the Nomenclature) And just think of the damage she can do to us in 08' when she makes clear our agenda for the AmeriKKKan people, yes, she will ruin it for all of us and most importantly for Her Excellency. She may have the San-Fran moral values of hope and progress, but enough is enough, one womyn of greatness is all the collective needs.

Comrades, this womyn cannot be allowed to taste power! She is not masterful enough in the art of Demokratic deception yet, she will reveal our true intentions of higher taxes, weak national defense/intelligence and the tearing down of traditional institutions.

Her Excellency appreciates your comments posted.
Remember, we're not talking about a "Secret Ballot" here. The Party wants to know why you voted for a certain candidiate and your reasoning..... Not that it counts or that the Party is counting. (After all, it's not November 8th yet and Jerry Garcia hasn't voted, although we do expect his absentee ballot to arrive sometime around 11/8/2006)
$.$. Haliburton is correct about stating his feelings, but in order to serve HRC, we must know who you voted for and why. Party Rules.

Lap Dog of the the Real Revolution,
Laika

Comrades,

While the glorious Comrade Chairman Meow is true about Comrade Pelosi, I must cast my vote for Obamamama. The reason being that although Comrade Pelosi may prematurely reveal the goals of the Party, Obamamama is the greater danger:

1) He has really done nothing to advance the Party (he has really done nothing
period)
2) The media hoards follow him around incessently which does 2 things:
-First it detracts from Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's press, which we really need to
figure out who authorized this and have that traitor sent to the gulag
-Second it detracts from all other Party approved propaganda that should be
plastered all over the media, such as Comrade Pelosi's idea of shutting down
'big oil's' profits.
3) Related to number 2, Obamamama has made allusions that he is going to run for
president in '08 which also detracts from Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's run.

Since he has committed actions and had ideas counter to Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's which in turn make them actions and ideas counter to the Party. He must be purged. More than that, he must become an unperson.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Comrade O'Brien, slaves of the collective, I implore you! How many necro-proxy voters will it take to find consensus on Pelosi!? What will we tell the children we have yet to denounce when Fancy Pants Pelosi becomes the Speaker? "Oh, its ok children, she is just given away our game plan for socialist Amerika and the coronation of Her Excellency kids, its ok blah blah blah". I think not, we have a responsibility as Democrats, and that responsibility is to ensure our children will not have to worry about responsibility in the progressive world. It is our duty to ensure that our darkest desires for a workers paradise be kept under the radar and here we have a womyn who wishes to sell us all out to the AmeriKKKan people. This is an outrage and I ask all to rally the necro-voters around the cause of purging San-Fran Nancy

Comrade Chairman,

I agree but what of Obahamamama? Will he too not take away Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's coronation as Supreme First Citizen?
Mayhap a twofer?
Oooo! I know! Could we perchance get the Ministry of Truth working on that they are secret anti-Party spies and lovers! Thus we could purge them both! For if they love each other they have no love left for the Party and everyone knows that the Party is the only thing you should love. For if Pants wishes to sell us out that is surely Thoughtcrime, and Obahamamama is surely commiting Thoughtcrime for wishing to take away Glorious Uber Comrade HRC's rightful place as Supreme First Citizen.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

O'Brien!

I like your thinking. You'd make a great WHORE.
Tell me more about this twofer deal you're thinking up.
I think I know where I can get a stained blue dress and say it's Fancypants with Bourak's DNA all over it.

H.

A twofer deal could work, I would be willing to sign off on that. But, only if we can implicate a third party who would be considered an "accessory" to this blantant crime against progress. Why settle for a twofer when we can have a three way. I know you love a three way, Your Excellency.

You know comrades, we don't need to just purge ONE soon-to-be enemy of The People. Borat bin Obama (is that right Senator Kennedy?) is providng a useful diversion at the moment and is holding a crucial Senate seat for The Party. If we eliminate him too soon it will leave his seat open as The People of Illinois are starting to think "Yeah, and you mean to say you WOULDN'T want to see Jeri Ryan doing freaky stuff...?" That seat is safely in our hands until 2010. When Beloved Leader has assumed her rightful place, Osama Obama (pbuh) can be given a meaningless appointment and sent off to the mountains of Lower Goathumpistan on a "fact-finding mission".

Meanwhile, we need to focus on those deviationists within The Party who are not sufficiently pro-Clinton and may pose a more immediate threat. First, comrade Pelosi will soon be dangerously close to assuming the office of President. We cannot allow this to happen because we all know that HRC WILL be the first womyn President. Pelosi seems far too ambitious and I believe she is planning a coup. Wouldn't you agree, Beloved Leader, that comrade Pelosi hasn't really looked "well" lately? The stress of "draining the swamp" and leading an impeachment might be rather taxing, given her weakened condition.

Next, we need a Party Chairman who will be more malleable to our wishes. Chairman Dean has obvious ambitions to be President. He is not a friend of our cause and his cult of personality among the Kossacks and other "netroots" makes him a liability. Can you say Trotsky"? We need to send him on a "fact-finding mission" as soon as this election is over.

Two votes for Fancy Pants! Hot damn, we's gunna have ourselves a purge!

I didn't see an "all of the above", so I went with the next best thing.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Two votes for Fancy Pants! Hot damn, we's gunna have ourselves a purge!

How could you vote twice from one IP? Did you use a necro-proxy? Do share your experience with comrades, we may need a best practices section established to educate the masses about progressive voting methods.

Yes, comrade Red Square, a necro-proxy was used to bump up the candidate of my choice. Let us just say Margie is amongst us ensuring this election is conducted in the fairest possible way. I would go onto say I agree we need a best practices section to inform the masses what to do, how to do it and who to go to if denied the right to vote multiple times/through necro-proxy.

$.$. Halliburton wrote:I cast all my votes for Al Gore.

I can't believe I'm actually voting for a Democrat. I'm 50 years old and this is the first, and most likely, the only time I'll cast a vote for one of those slime balls. But I couldn't pass this up. If anyone should be tarred, feathered, and ridden out of the country on a rail never to be let back in it's that knucklehead. And that's the way I feel about it.

(Two other party members asked me to be their proxy in this vote. So I cast all three for Mr. No Controlling Legal Authority This is the Most Moral Administration I'm Proud of Bill Clinton Kyoto Treaty Sell the Red Chinese Our Secrets Stupid Self-Rightous Pompous Bombastic Insane Al Gore.)

Tell us how you really think...

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Comrade O'Brien, slaves of the collective, I implore you! How many necro-proxy voters will it take to find consensus on Pelosi!? What will we tell the children we have yet to denounce when Fancy Pants Pelosi becomes the Speaker? "Oh, its ok children, she is just given away our game plan for socialist Amerika and the coronation of Her Excellency kids, its ok blah blah blah". I think not, we have a responsibility as Democrats, and that responsibility is to ensure our children will not have to worry about responsibility in the progressive world. It is our duty to ensure that our darkest desires for a workers paradise be kept under the radar and here we have a womyn who wishes to sell us all out to the AmeriKKKan people. This is an outrage and I ask all to rally the necro-voters around the cause of purging San-Fran Nancy

I gotta second Meow's opinion here...I vote FrankenPelosi and ty Meow for stating our hatered for her so eloquently. The sooner we purge that bitch the better.

Osamabamaslapjomama is a close second, though. The Collective is not yet ready for a bi-racial candidate, so he poses little threat to Her Highness in '08...a flash-in-the-pan, so to speak.

Purge FrankenPelosi, the San Francisco Threat (rhymes with "treat").

Thank you, comrade Pravda. So far so good, Team Fancy Pants is now tied with Team Father-O-Internet.

(I bet Bonnie Fwank is the dark horse in this race.)

Ohhhhh.....maybe it wasn't the meds......ooohhhhhh......my fingernails are growing faster....and my hair.....gggrrrrrrrrrr...........
pant, pant.........
OW OHHHHHH OW OHHHHH
Grrrrrrr

Quick! Everyone to the exits! Her Excellency is in campaign mode! Someone get the Oxy and the stoli! Oh Lenin help us, its hideous! HIDEOUS! Yet... I am strangely attracted to it.

Snrrrrrrrr
Snarrrr
Sniff Sniff Sniff
Pant Pant
OW OHHHHHHHHHHH

Sweet merciful Stalin, Her Excellency has completed Her metamorphosis! She must feed now. We are going to need large amounts of soft ca$h, someone get on the phone to Cha-Ching, we are also going to need progressive womyn to cool Her Excellencies fires. Just whatever you do comrades, empty your pockets of whatever ca$h or coins you might have on your person, Her Excellency will ravage you if She sniffs it out!

Oh Lenin help us! She just mauled General Ivan (Ret.), Quick General! Empty your pockets! What? Yes she can sniff out travelers checks! Just give them to Her dammit! I dont care about frequent flyers miles, just do it! For the love of the motherland! EMPTY YOUR POCKETS!

Premier Betty wrote:I didn't see an "all of the above", so I went with the next best thing.

Me, too.
Gawd, Hillary is a mess when she's off her meds!

And they call me a freak...

You are a freak, you gave the wealthiest 1% a tax cut while the other 99% starve to death. But on a lighter note, Her Excellency is not a mess. She is a womyn of sound mind and is simply experiencing Her "time of the year" if you catch my drift.

Oh my aching head....where am I? My beautiful teal dress is torn to shreds! What's this Chinese menu doing in my hands? Le Ho Fooks?
Travelers checks? Well, at least that's a bonus without an onus! And all this spare change....well I'll just keep that too....
What day is it?
Oh my god! It's ten days before the election!
Oh well, it can't be helped. All my WHOREs will just have to come up with some more soft ca$h, that's all....and I'll just go over to Madame Toussad's and get that spare teal dress to replace this one.

Now where were we? Ah yes, my favorite pastime! The purge!
Well it looks like the San Francisco Freak has the lead, but I like Meow's idea of a menage a trois. Why just last week Maureen, Janet and ME were discussing how fun threesomes are...then Helen Thomas showed up and we found out how fun a FOURSOME could be!
Hmmmmmmm.....?

I'm parched, I sure could go for a pina colada.

H.

OH! Your Excellency! Are you OK? You had the collective worried! We have never seen your condition that worse before. Poor General Ivan (Ret.) is in intensive care recovering after the traveler checks incident. The doctors had to take a few limbs but he's fine, no worries. Yes! A foursome and more $oft ca$h, right away, anything for Her Excellency! ANYTHING!

Hillary wrote:Oh my aching head....where am I? My beautiful teal dress is torn to shreds! What's this Chinese menu doing in my hands? Le Ho Fooks?

I'm parched, I sure could go for a pina colada.

H.

At Trader Vic's? We date ourselves, comrade...er not like that kind of date...all this San Francisco crap has me worried what people will think...

Comrade Pravda, are you going to San-Francisco? If so, don't forget to put a flower in your hair.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Comrade Pravda, are you going to San-Francisco? If so, don't forget to put a flower in your hair.

...yeah and whatever toy du jour up the tuckus? I DON'T THINK SO.

Thanks but no thanks comrade...someone else will have to drive the black mariah to pick up Miss Fancy Pants.

Summertime we'll be a lovin' there.......
Far out man! I just voted for Paisley Pelosi man...gotta vote for the home girl. She's right on with the social issues man...she helped open the first "Free Clinic" up in Haight Ashbury dude, after she got the clap and found out there wasn't any free health care...like it was '67 and the Summer of Love and all these people were like into free love and stuff and like all these people got the clap man...and syphullis....and other nasty crotch rot stuff...so Paisley had this great idea that everybody should like have a "Free Clinic" to go to when they got the clap......groovy man, real groovy...without her there wouldn't have been a Revolution man, you dig? I think you dig, 'cause like there's people with shovels at the top of this web page, and they dig too? Don't they?
I remember when I first met Paisley Pelosi. Owlsley brought her up to the Airplane's pad at 2400 Fulton and she really got down man...she was all spaced out on blotter and like she did the whole band man! There was no stopping her...come to think of it, that's how I got the clap too.....weird man, far out....so anyhow Hunter and I wrote a song about her ..."Bertha"....yeah, that's all about Paisley Pelosi.....man I didn't know her first name was Nancy until today.....so this vote for Nancy is a good thing right, 'cause like free clinics everywhere would be cool? Last time I saw her was at the Winterland when we closed it New Years Eve 1978. Bill Graham was riding a joint as Father Time and then she was riding HIS joint back stage...she's super freaky deeky man....no stopping her. I hope she becomes president man.
So this vote was a good thing, right?

Yes, your vote is a good thing comrade Garcia, so good in fact, we are going to count it three times because I thought I saw a hanging chad.

That's cool, 'cause like Pig Pen, Keith and Brent are gonna rock the Dead vote, so like, throw in one more and make it four.
Oh I didn't know Chad hung himself. Does Jeremy know?

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Yes, your vote is a good thing comrade Garcia, so good in fact, we are going to count it three times because I thought I saw a hanging chad.

By my estimate...Fancy Pants should be ahead by a good...ummm, lessee...10,000 votes at least!

The counter at the top is wrong...man!

Kerry!
Ow Ohhhhhhh!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sniff Sniff
Pant pant
Pisssssssssssssss
Pissssssssssssssss
Ahhhhhhhh.
Drip Drip
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Kerry!

Never heard of him. Especially after the drip drip, that scares me.

I thought this was taken care of in '04 when we purged this loser. Obviously, this being Halloween, Lurch (formerly known as "Kerry") has risen from the dead and now threatens the People's bid to retake what is rightfully ours!

Someone, quick! Drive a stake up his a** and finish him off! We are too close to be foiled by this foul non-person! Better get the garlic and silver bullets as well!

He is in league with the arKKKhitect KKKarl Rove! HE IS IN LEAGUE! It must be stopped, we must tack what little existence he has left to the sinking ship of Fancy Pants, he will be the death of us all! THE DEATH OF US ALL I TELL YOU!

I was told uhhh. They uhh told me to vote for the Pelochi person and uhh, ummm they said if I did'nt they said they would remember me and uhhh not help me get the social programs I want, like uhh, free healthcare and stripers. They promised me stripers. Uhh, I think they are all using me and all this other stuff too. Feel sorry for me, give me some money.

Oh wow man....
It's "Night of the Living Kerry"
Only Paisley Pelosi can save us now!
This is the worst case of syph mind rot I've ever seen!
We've got to get John to the Free Clinic right away!
Peniciilin? Four Cubes of Owlsley for a hit of Penicillin?? Anybody?
Jonesin' for some Vitimin P man! Any Penicillin????
Where's Paisley man? Has anybody seen her these last two weeks?

I uhh got some perky P man, I'm down with progress man. uhhh got any money Mr. Garcia, I could use some money. pity me.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:He is in league with the arKKKhitect KKKarl Rove! HE IS IN LEAGUE! It must be stopped, we must tack what little existence he has left to the sinking ship of Fancy Pants, he will be the death of us all! THE DEATH OF US ALL I TELL YOU!

We must find out who was in charge of making him an unperson and bring the swift and heavy hammer of the People's justice crashing down upon them!! They have failed the Party miserably and they must be made an example of!!!

Oh woe...lots of woe....

Ok ok. Kerry is acting as an agent of the Obahamamama/Pansty conspiracy....Yes!!! They are in league with $$ Haliburton to destroy the Party and once that is accomplished $$ will anoint them as the next Pres/Vice Pres ticket and Keryrryy for his obedience in their hateful plot will receive an appointment as.....as......Secretary of Defense!! Yes they must all be purged!!

Surely in these extenuating circumstances, an exception must be made for them all to be purged!!

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

This is a conspiracy! One big and terrible conspiracy of hate/racism and dirty campaign Ads! Why can't we keep the discussion on Mark Foley!? WHY CAN'T IT BE ALL ABOUT MARK FOLEY OR JACK ABRAMOFF OR THE STUPID COMMENT MADE BY CHENEY! HOW ABOUT RUSH!? WHY CANT WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT RUSH AND HOW WE SKEWERED HIS COMMENTS ABOUT THE PEOPLES SAINT, MARTY MCFLY?

This could change the entire face of Purge '06...General Ivan (Ret.) was perhaps correct in another thread that Premier Betty needs to order a few more Mark VII's. This is going to be very messy for a lot of people.

Perhaps this is a good time for that vacation in Kiev I was thinking of...I hear it's lovely there this time of year.

Fellow Comrades,

I would like to thank all those brave heroes of socialist construction who came out of their ditches, huts, cells and high rise penthouses to vote in the affirmative for the purging of Fancy Pants, we couldn't have built this coalition without you. I would also like to thank all levels of Party leadership for their diligence and professionalism on this matter, litigation and fabrication takes creativity, and we all know the fabricated charges that will be pressed against Fancy Pants will surely out do last years purge, thank you comrades, thank you.

We now look forward to the glorious November 7th revolution, many will succeed and a multitude will fail. Let this be a warning to those who fall into the latter, Her Excellency will not except failure and for those who do, they will not be spared by Her wrath.

Special thanks to Comrade Marshal Pravda and Comrade Garcia for collaborating in the demise of the infamous Fancy Pants. Your contribution of hate filled vitriol against this womyn will help the advancement of a smooth purge as well as The Peoples Candidate Krissy in her victory for Kongress.

Always a pleasure to discredit the most deserving...salute!

Cheers!

T-minus 2 days and counting...Laika!!! Will you please give us the official countdown for the beginning of the Great Purge of '06 (coinciding with the Great Voter Ripoff ERRR Election of '06).

As of 6:50 EDST, Paisley Pantaloons leads the vote with 6 offical party votes, plus 2,000,345 necro-proxy votes and 11,235,416 provisional ballot votes equalling 13,235,767 votes. Al Gore is a close second with 3 offical party votes. At this point it's too close to call. The polls close 29 hrs and 8 minutes from now.

I'm not worried about it, all my internal poll numbers show that Fancy Pants will get the axe. We still haven't counted the plant/animal/appliance vote yet.

EVERY VOTE COUNTS!

you forgot the "it" vote...Frisco will be upset.

Yes I did, and I apologize to all the its out there. I also want to mention the oatmeal vote. We are expecting a huge turn out of oatmeal this election/purge cycle.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Yes I did, and I apologize to all the its out there. I also want to mention the oatmeal vote. We are expecting a huge turn out of oatmeal this election/purge cycle.

Oatmeal??? BRILLIANT!!!

Oatmeal has been used and abused by society for hundreds of years! Let's make a stand this year for oatmeal!!

Equal Rights For Oatmeal '06!

I was suppressed! I was suppressed!

https://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/


Actually, Satchel was suppressed. He was going to vote Green.
Thanks for the chuckle Darby.

He was going to vote Green

Voting for Green? That means he's voting for the green that the people will be able to keep if the Republikans remain in power! This can't be allowed.