People's Volunteers needed ---- no life or social skills required ---- please write ads that cost nothing and bring no profit, and post them below as text.

To create People's Cube Ads is an idea whose time has come. We've seen too many of them, all aimed at lining the pockets of greedy kapitalist Google masters.

Boys down at the Visual Agitation Directorate will take care of the rest.

I didn't mean everybody should be making gif files - that's the job for unpaid volunteers at the propaganda department. Comrades of distinction like you may submit ideas as plain text. We have imagination.

Well, so long as someone else is doing the formatting, because I can barely peck on a keyboard (and what's this W thing that keeps showing up?)

BEING TRANSPORTED?
Pre-issued Gulag Survival Kits. Includes shovel, boots, vodka flask. Must barter for own vodka.

NEA APPROVED ART SUPPLIES
Fresh excrement delivered straight to your door! Also large selection of Judeo-Christian relics and tokens.

Glorious!

Comrade Pinkie is hereby awarded a small "For The Common Good" medal.

Ah, many thanks, Great Leader! How 'bout another one?

ASSORTED DNC RINGTONES
Includes Howard Dean's scream, Hillary's laugh. Free download with donation!

SPONSORED LINKS

Adopt A Sponsored Ad
Adopt any People's Cube ad for mere pennies per click. Click here to sign up.

HOW LOYAL ARE YOU TO THE PARTY?
Find out! Click here to take a free quiz. Win a trip to meet other people just like you!

DNC TALKING POINTS IN ALL LANGUAGES
Great for public speeches, demonstrations, demands from hostage-takers, and newscasts on Al-Jazeera.

ECO-FRIENDLY LAUNDERED CURRENCY
Lead Free direct import from China. One bundle per click.

(Surgeon Commissar Warning: Could cause carpal-tunnel in progressives)

Gulag Merchandise
Vintage Collectibles & Gifts
in the shadow of Guard Tower 7!
https://www.purgedworld.com

Fight Homosexuality Today
Photos, News & Expert Commentary On
Deviant Bashing. Help Make A Difference!
https://www.nohomoIran.org

Bill Clinton NoTell Motels
Book your hotel at Clinton
Online. Special offers and photos.
https://www.Motel-Browser.org

The last one was almost word for word a real one.

JEW B GONE
Reliable international franchise
available in your area.
1-800-HIZ-BLAH

Anti-Bush Stickers & Gear
Pre- Packaged Opinions, because
there's just not enough time to think for yourself.

FREE NPR MUG AND T SHIRT
With every 3 Hummers you torch.

EARN MONEY AND HELP THE ENVIRONMENT.
Make millions off a crappy slide show.then fly around the
world on a private Jet leaving a huge carbon footprint
and finally drown in you own hypocrisy.

HELP FEED THE HUNGRY.
Abort extra mouths before they are born.

Red Square wrote:A variation on the above...

<img src=/images/Ads_Cube_Single_DKos.gif>

That one caused inspiration for mine, although not the same format, it is still worth mentioning:

Daily Kos

Have you had your morning cup of Sh**t today?

Meet other lonely subsidized idiots just like yourself!

It's easy, fast and free*! Sign up, submit an active address and meet other hot, subsidized idiots living in their mother's basement! Text: PUNCHENKO to 6969 now OR register at Lonelylosers.scam!

*additional charges, surcharges, fees and other requirements may apply. Confidentiality not guaranteed. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for personal information given to a third-party. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for any monies lost, transferred, stolen or misplaced. Additional charge of $29.95 for first time, second time, third time and fourth time users will apply. All charges, surcharges, fees and other monetary requirements will be added to your phone bill and credit card accounts submitted at least several times an hour. User(s) will not be notified of billing. User(s) will be permitted ten minutes to cancel membership upon registration. Failure to cancel membership within ten minutes of registration will confirm your agreement of a ten year subscription for $456.99. Void where prohibited which is nowhere since the Party is running Congress now. You are a sucker. Additional sucker charge of $78.87 will apply upon registration.

Many thanks, Chairman Meow, but didn't you try once before to fix me up with Mulva?

Hmmmm, the Pup may have to look into his ad.... But you say Meow blew it with you? The Chairman? The price seems reasonable, much less than other services I have tried, even with the surcharges. One thing about the Chairman, at least you know all his reasonable charges will go to the Many Titted Empress. I have a Red Square Express Premium card just burning a hole in my pocket to use.

Nyet, Commissar Pupovich, I fear you misunderstand. I signed up for one of these services before and got matched up with Mulva. That reference to idiots living in their mother's basement made me think at once of Mulva.

I'll gladly give all I have to our MTE without seeing Mulva again.

I'm afraid Mulva is too good for you, Comrade Pinkie. You see, your prole sensibilities couldn't handle the international celebrity of Mulva or his parent's $400,000 Mini-Mansion. It just isn't you, Comrade Pinkie. I mean, he is such a celebrity he has the power - yes, the power - to turn down a man begging for a few dollars so that he, International Celebrity Mulva, can buy some hot Starbucks coffee and some tasty eats from Panera Bread. He is that *important*! Have you heard his music? It is absolutely visionary... NO!... it is divine, yes, it is art sent from the heavens above in the caring and compassionate arms of transgender angels. I must have soiled myself several times listening the harmonious screeching of Mulva and his band of noble progressives.

Once again, for the record.... he is too good for you.

iPhone Discounts
Get your FREE Apple iPhone and be assimilated today!

Hope my komrades don't object to me posting these actual google ads. You will see how gloriously progressive they are. The first, for obvious reasons, and the second is a favourite with our progressive Islamic freedom fighting friends wherever they happen to be...

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.co.uk/Beezelbo ... 6754"><img src="https://lh4.google.co.uk/Beezelbob.Brow ... ocide1.gif" /></a>

These are real!

Beez

<a href="https://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="https://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w20 ... edlink.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I'm afraid Mulva is too good for you, Comrade Pinkie.

Chairman, I must confess my weakness yet again. Who is "Mulva?" Exhaustive research carried out at my own expense I might add, revealed 3 possibilities.... Mulva as the name of the Junior Mint gal from Seinfeld, a Mulva who headed a huge Big Oil company, and my most promising suspect, some Alva character at Nitwit Planet to which I found a link here.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I'm afraid Mulva is too good for you, Comrade Pinkie. You see, your prole sensibilities couldn't handle the international celebrity of Mulva or his parent's $400,000 Mini-Mansion. It just isn't you, Comrade Pinkie. I mean, he is such a celebrity he has the power - yes, the power - to turn down a man begging for a few dollars so that he, International Celebrity Mulva, can buy some hot Starbucks coffee and some tasty eats from Panera Bread. He is that *important*! Have you heard his music? It is absolutely visionary... NO!... it is divine, yes, it is art sent from the heavens above in the caring and compassionate arms of transgender angels. I must have soiled myself several times listening the harmonious screeching of Mulva and his band of noble progressives.

Once again, for the record.... he is too good for you.

Ah, thank you for clearing that up for me, Chairman Meow. I always had the impression Mulva was interested in me only because I had HBO.

I should never have doubted you, esteemed Chairman! Here, take the rest of what I have for the Many Titted Empress--it's only a few kopecks I was saving to bribe the local commissar for a new shovel, but I think it's better spent on Her Excellency. I have faith that after she assumes power, she'll give me the new shovel, and Universal Free Vodka, too.

Great deals on Winkle-Be-Gone™
Twice as effective as Hsu-Be-Gone™. Click here.

- https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/20 ... w_goe.html

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Meet other lonely subsidized idiots just like yourself!

It's easy, fast and free*! Sign up, submit an active address and meet other hot, subsidized idiots living in their mother's basement! Text: PUNCHENKO to 6969 now OR register at Lonelylosers.scam!

*additional charges, surcharges, fees and other requirements may apply. Confidentiality not guaranteed. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for personal information given to a third-party. The Punchenko Foundation for a Richer Tomorrow is not responsible for any monies lost, transferred, stolen or misplaced. Additional charge of $29.95 for first time, second time, third time and fourth time users will apply. All charges, surcharges, fees and other monetary requirements will be added to your phone bill and credit card accounts submitted at least several times an hour. User(s) will not be notified of billing. User(s) will be permitted ten minutes to cancel membership upon registration. Failure to cancel membership within ten minutes of registration will confirm your agreement of a ten year subscription for $456.99. Void where prohibited which is nowhere since the Party is running Congress now. You are a sucker. Additional sucker charge of $78.87 will apply upon registration.

I love the small print !!

Gourmet Ca$H$u Donations
The Gift that Keeps on Giving!
In Gift Train Car Box.
NutsOnTheNet.com/Ca$H$u

Commissar Pupovich wrote: Chairman, I must confess my weakness yet again. Who is "Mulva?" Exhaustive research carried out at my own expense I might add, revealed 3 possibilities.... Mulva as the name of the Junior Mint gal from Seinfeld, a Mulva who headed a huge Big Oil company, and my most promising suspect, some Alva character at Nitwit Planet to which I found a link here.

Commissar Pupovich, Nitwit's the one you're looking for. Mulva's 15 minutes at the Cube actually elapsed long before I was transported here, but on another thread, Comrade Hillary posted the link below. The comments are the icing on the cake.

https://nitwitplanet.blogspot.com/2006_ ... chive.html

I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.

Honestly, some people just don't have a sense of humor. Or just plain sense, period.

I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.

Yeah...the Cube had the effect.
Notice all the goose eggs after we retaliated.
<sigh.....>
If we had ever know he'd just sulk and go back up to the attic of his parent's mini-mansion in Woodbridge and not blog, maybe the Party's harsh criticism wouldn't have been so harsh.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:

I notice if you go to Mulva's blog now, he insists on first approving any comments before posting them.

Yeah...the Cube had the effect.
Notice all the goose eggs after we retaliated.
<sigh.....>
If we had ever know he'd just sulk and go back up to the attic of his parent's mini-mansion in Woodbridge and not blog, maybe the Party's harsh criticism wouldn't have been so harsh.

Oleg,

A good tshirt idea inspired by Laika.

" Daily Kos
Democratic Underground....
GOT TINFOIL"

You could even put 9/11 truthers in there too

Pinkie wrote:Commissar Pupovich, Nitwit's the one you're looking for. Mulva's 15 minutes at the Cube actually elapsed long before I was transported here, but on another thread, Comrade Hillary posted the link below. The comments are the icing on the cake.

Yup, I read that, and he truly is a Nitwit. Still wonder, what was the thinking behind calling him Mulva? Or was that the name he used when he came here?

Commissar Pupovich wrote: Yup, I read that, and he truly is a Nitwit. Still wonder, what was the thinking behind calling him Mulva? Or was that the name he used when he came here?

I gathered that when addressing the man whose mother called him Alva, Chairman Meow, as always thinking of female body parts and what rhymes with them (though instead he claims the Seinfeld defense), slipped and called the guy Mulva. The name stuck as such names tend to do. Hell, I've been called everything from Stinkie to Twinkie to Tinkie-Winkie. Of course, the last thing people remember after doing that is the sight of my shovel slamming upside their head.

Ah, so the Chairman rightfully used the Seinfeld Defense! If the body part fits, you must acquit! Thanks for the explanation.... Comrade Twinkie....

As it happens, last night I was speaking to a most intelligent man who just came back from living in Berlin, where he was also investigating links to neo Nazi's and 9/11. He is convinced that they were linked to 9/11 as well. Seeing how in Europe, the date would be 11/9, and he did show me a lot of information about the significance that that date held for Hitler.

Considering Suicide, But Worried About Losing Your Voting Rights?
Have no fear, the Democrat Party will cast your vote for you.

Laika dubbed him Mulva, Comrades. I think a few of you - and I'm not saying any names here - need read up on your archives (Pinkie and Pupovich).


Save Big on Global Warming Survival Kits!

Paddles, Ponchos and Bags of Ice for Incredibly Outrageous Prices!

I have been reading my archives Chairman, but they are most extensive.... much like your Hummel col.... er... your former Hummel collection.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Laika dubbed him Mulva, Comrades. I think a few of you - and I'm not saying any names here - need read up on your archives (Pinkie and Pupovich).

Hm . . . I read the comments on that link, and could've sworn it was you, great Chairman. My humble apologies. I don't think the re-education center where I'm assigned is receiving enough public funding, hence my gaffe.

As for what happened at the Cube before I was transported here, well, naturally I had no idea what kind of information I was going to inherit, or what kind of information might be concealed from me, perhaps destroyed before I came here, or even smuggled out in the legs of someone's pants.

I do believe George W. Bush has lied to me AGAIN!

Eggselent point Pinkie! How were we to know what was allowable for us to see? What was a trap set for catching thought criminals? What was evidence waiting to be destroyed? It was not our fault!

LITIGATORS NEEDED!

Edwards and Associates has immediate openings for trained ambulance chasers and spirit channelers!

FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE!

Call 1-800-SHYSTER for details

FIRST 500 CALLERS GET FREE SAMPLE-SIZE PACKET OF "JUST FOR ALMOST MEN" HAIR TREATMENT!

This is a real one... had to check what I would see when inspired by our party organ donor...

Free Cremation w/Donation
Everything taken care of for you.
Closure for family within weeks.
lifequestanatomical.com

Perhaps this video will steer your progressive thoughts away from thoughtcrimes and back to advertisements:

Flying Imam Class Action Lawsuit

Hillary posted this on another thread and I know she'll be too busy to put it here as well...

Orenthal James P.I. Inc.
Great deals on quality investigations. Guaranteed results.

Look at those shelves on that bookcase sag. Just like mama Nancy's *COUGH* *HACK* *GAG* *COUGH*

...ahem... what was I talking about...?

Meows Discount Hummell Shop
Thousands of assorted figurines
in various states of repair.
https://www.chairmancried.com

Found this at Media Matters:



I know this doesn't fit the format for Cube Ads but I think it cries out to be a Cube Ad. I just can't decide on the rest of it. "click here for the New York Times editorials"? There is something that would make this gold, (or RED), but I can't put my finger on it.

General Secretary wrote:
HELP FEED THE HUNGRY.
Abort extra mouths before they are born.

Comerade you forgot best part!

HELP FEED HUNGRY.
Sleep with Party Elite at their command, THEN abort extra mouths before they are born.

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.co.uk/Beezelbo ... 6770"><img src=/images/Ads_Deniers.gif></a>

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.co.uk/Beezelbo ... 6786"><img src=/images/Ads_Stasi.gif></a>

SIZZLIN' HOT ASIAN CHICKS
Educate your neighbors about
the harmful effects that Global Warming
is having on Chinese waterfowl!

Help Save the Planet Today!
Help us save the trees and the planet
by recycling your used paper currency
(only USD accepted) at your local
DNC sponsored currency recycling center.

Red Square wrote:Perhaps this video will steer your progressive thoughts away from thoughtcrimes and back to advertisements:
Flying Imam Class Action Lawsuit

Mmmmm, I could tell him where he could fly....

Thank you all for being excellent Party Organ Donors, selflessly lending your brain to the Propaganda Department.

The Five-Year Plan of creating selfless ads has been completed ahead of schedule within less than a week! This calls for a few Party announcements:

PARTY ANNOUNCEMENTS

1. This topic has been moved to People's Tools

2. A rotating random banner script has been implemented at the top of the right-hand column to host all of our existing ads

3. The number of ads has reached 29!

4. You can continue writing ads in the comments, preferably as text. We will occasionally create new banners to add to the ones being rotated.

Ahmed Need a Job?
Drivers needed for one-way deliveries
--Immediate Openings--
Apply Nearest Iranian Embassy

Head meds not working?
Apply for an internship at the DNC.


Fat, dirty, loud and stinky?
Blog for the DKos.
All the shit you can throw.

Jet Rides to Global Warming Conventions
Ride the way Al Gore does to his environmental speeches.

You will convert to a Religion of peace.
...Or I'll have to kill you.

Refuse to work. White heterosexual males will do it for you.

Dave from https://www.dontflameme.com emailed this ad -
------------------------------------------
Turn Your Guns Into Sickles And Hammers
Forfeit them to MoveOn.org
------------------------------------------
We'll post it with the others when we have a new batch.

Wasted your mind on drugs?
Spend the rest of your life clicking on ads to help websites!
(It's not like you can do anything else)

Cude pinc spel chek
No werd iss betar then ani othar werd. al werds guarenteed equl.

Hate Accountability?
Blame George Bush. Go ahead, the NY Times does it.

Katrina-survivors-on-Crack.org
The Navy Seals blew the the levy or was it the aliens. I forget.

Affirmative Action
Because Reverse Racism is okay.

News.
With Keith Olberman.

It's Bush's fault that __________.
Make it yourself your self Barbara Boxer Speech.

YouTerrorize
<a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/ ... 70">Upload and share online Fatwas, Jihad videos, and propaganda. Great for threatening infidels.</a>

Dow Jones Drops 500 points.
Harry Reid Says the War on The Economy is Lost.
Wants to send Wall Street home.

Frank Murtha.

General Petraeus still alive and well. End of world is nigh.

Brokeback Mountain Loses Climber

Comrades! Methinks you're in the wrong room. You're looking for the Newsroom -

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=138

Consistency is the bugaboo of small minds.

So I contradict myself? I am large.

I made some of these ads functional and added then to my website. If you have a site and wish to do the same. Here is the gif and necessary code. You will also need some very basic HTML skills.

oops, my site is here if you wish to see them in action

Why is Capitalism Fvil?

Edit.... Nice quick fix!

That's what I call a Party favor! I'll have to find a way to offer these ads for posting on other sites...

Navigator wrote:
Edit.... Nice quick fix!

Okay, if I see another smiley, I'm going to begin preparing my patented Dahmer Borscht.

You have been warned.
-Mikhail

(P.S.: Great ads!!!)

Mikhail,
I've heard the joke: What do you get if you put four guys with aids in a hot tub?
Answer: Soup!

But I didn't know it was real?

Here's another

"Jeff [Daumer], I don't like your neighbors."

"Then eat just the vegetables."

How about

Affirmative-Action Applicants Needed

Al-Qaeda in Iraq seeks under-represented persons for work in crowded street markets! Women, children, the elederly, and those with mental handicaps given special preference.

See here for the inspiration:
https://abcnews.go.com/International/Wi ... 818&page=1

Thanks, Pavlik! An excellent ad. We'll add it in our next update.

Carbon conscious? Send us money or we'll shoot this tree.

For every carbon credit you don't buy, a million bazillion acres of rainforest are destroyed.

Carbon Credits:
The only guilt free method when you absolutely, positively must get your biz jet from NY to LA to attend a Global Warming protest....and back again.

STOP CLIMATE CHANGE NOW!
DEMAND equal temperatures for all seasons!
Call your representative today - make Congress do something.

ANGRY? DISAFFECTED? MUSLIM? LIKE TO TRAVEL?
Burn cars in France for college credit!
Up to three quarter hours awarded for each Peugeot.
Earn a master's degree in torching SUVs.
Find out more at your nearest mosque, madrassa, or Muslim seminary.