Many people have wondered throughout the years, "What are the three most perfect tools?" Well, here's the answer: the Shovel, the Guillotine, and the Gun. Without those instruments, the world as we know it today might never be as... um... RED!

1. Shovel

This instrument is the most used in our institutes of worthwhile labor (gulag), and can serve for many different purposes. The art of de-construction uses the shovel constantly; with it we will tear down the capitalist bourgeoisie empire, and bury it underground forever. then using the shovel for construction, we will build ourselves the foundation for a bright communist future! Even our new People's Red Army will be trained in the art of Kung Shovel, the ancient Chinese art of beating people up and burying them with one and the same tool.

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2. Guillotine

The guillotine was a master at executions during the French Revolution (the first true Communist revolution), and will soon be re-instituted as the one and only official execution machine. Second to only the gun, used by the Peoples Red Army, it will help rid our perfect Communist society of all remaining capitalists!

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3. Gun

The gun is the personal execution tool of the secret police (ACLU). although it may seem like they are against it, it is really part of their plan to help the coming revolution. They must first exploit the American legal system and make it so that no one can own any form of firearms and thus preventing the capitalists from forming a people's militia. When that is complete, the revolution will come, and our People's Red Army of Nixon clones will help liberate us from the rest of the capitalists.

By the way to the readers out there, if you want any of these tools, just ask! We will gladly give it to you, but you better make sure that you are using them! For example, if you're gonna use the shovel, use it right. Otherwise we will know, since working out with the shovel will cause you to become huge. Enjoy! Now...stop reading and get working!

Vladimir Ivanov

Kommissar Betty, I see you like Yarigin's MP-446 Viking pistol. Here at the Karl Marx Treatment Center we switched to his new MP-448 Skyph. Is very friendly pistol.

Comrade Otis
Doctor of Dictatorship
Our friendly staff is standing by for you!

Yes Comrade Otis, it would be impossible to show all the perfect guns our comrades all arround the world have created. that is why I just used the Peoples Search Engine (Google to the capitalists) to get that picture.

They know too much... We must reeducate you all, now!!!!

Let me add to the great list of tools, esp. guns: Try the AK47. It works a heck of a lot better than the puny M-16s that the capitalists make!

Vladimir Ivanov

Yes, when will those capitalists learn that you can't win a war using those puny 5.56 mm cartridges?

-Kommissar Betty

AK47 YES , BUT NOTHING BEATS THE AMERICAN .45 AUTO

Lies!!! Filthy Amerikkkan lies! There is not weapon greater than that created by our glorious soviet motherland!

polkat wrote:NOTHING BEATS THE AMERICAN .45 AUTO

I couldn't disagree more, comrade. The AK complex of assault rifles are intended to destroy personnel and fire weapons of the enemy.

Extensively fielded in Vietnam, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Africa, the Middle East and dozens of other "hot spots" the Kalashnikovs once and again proved their reputation of outstanding durability, reliability, effectiveness and simplicity of construction. In my numerous meetings with the people who used AK submachine guns in various places around the world I heard such an opinion that Kalashnikov is an ideal weapon of an ideal design and it is hardly possible to alter it so as to improve its functional parameters.

The advantages of assault rifles of the unified complex are:

- trouble-free functioning in adverse operating conditions (at subzero and elevated temperatures, contamination, etc.);

- optimal dispersion in burst firing from unsteady positions;

- long service life;

- easy servicing (disassembly, assembly, cleaning, lubrication);

- firing mechanism versions ensuring three-round controlled bursts.

The 5.56mm AK-101 and AK-102 assault rifles can fire foreign M-193 and SS-109 cartridges and domestic RS-101 cartridges with enhanced penetrability.

The weapon-cartridge complex developed by the Izhmash Concern and the Barnaul Machine-Tool Building Plant allows joint export deliveries of assault rifles and 5.56mm cartridges.

The 7.62mm AK-103 assault rifle, compared to domestic and foreign-made AKM and AKMS assault rifles, features:

- stronger locking assembly;

- muzzle brake reducing the flash and energy of recoil at a discharge, which decreases the dispersion in firing from unsteady positions (standing unsupported, prone unsupported);

- increased operational reliability due to the use of highly strong polymeric materials.

Modern technologies are applied for making barrels and parts from highly strong polymers thereby considerably improving their wear resistance.

The AK-104 and AK-105 assault rifles are intended to arm power structures of the Russian Federation. Compared to the AKS-74U, they are distinguished by enhanced power and have a lower level of crack and flash in firing as well as better dispersion characteristics.

The unified weapon complex is further developed along the following lines:

- fitting assault rifles with diopter sights improving the accuracy of fire;

- development of light machine guns built around the assault rifles of the unified complex;

- increase in the usable rate of fire owing to larger capacity magazines.

In the near future, the complex will be supplemented by such light machine guns as the RPK-101 (chambered for the NATO 5.56 x 45 cartridge), the RPK-102 (chambered for the 5.45 x 39 cartridge) and the RPK-103 (chambered for the 7.62 x 39 cartridge).

All these models will be provided with larger capacity magazines containing 60 rounds each.

The particular feature of these assault rifles is the utilization of a balanced shockless automatics with separated inertia masses.

The consistency of AK-series automatic fire from unsteady positions is 1.5 to 2 times closer compared to the weapons whose action is made according to the classical configuration. The AK-74/100 series assault rifles have a folding plastic buttstock and standard AK mounts for attachment of optical and night sights, as well as underbarrel grenade launcher and a bayonet-knife. The firing mechanism allows automatic, single-shot or three-round controlled burst fire.

There is little to contradict Kalashnikov Assault Rifles (avtomat Kalashnikova) have no equal competition from traditionally Western controlled arms suppliers.

Thank you for your time.
-General Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

Horary for AK's! Although I still prefer the M-14... and M-82. More accuracy and more stopping power.

Blasphemy.

-Mikhail

Yes, but true. AK's are terribly inaccurate anywhere past... 50 feet. And they use a smaller cartridge that contains less powder making them not as powerful as the ass kicking M-14. As for the M-82... well, anything in the way of that might as well not bother existing in any form of matter anymore.

I totally agree.

<Karakter>

You fool! Nothing outperforms the glorious Revolutionaries Tool!

-Mikhail

The tool that has made so many revolutions possible throughout the ages, the tool that has destroyed so many up and coming governments in favor of unstable anarchies with rebel factions all fighting each other for power over a country that no one is interested in? Well, it is hard to disagree with such perfect achievements it has created. It is just a good thing that the Amerikkkan military is still using the miniature 5.56 rounds to fight back with. Like shooting an elephant with a pistol.

one must modenerize to maintain effency in today's society.
1: AK-47, Ammunition is available everywhere
2: .45ACP , once again ammo is available evertwhere
3: machete, gillotine is too heavy to transport. Machete gives you exercise!
4: shovel is nice, but I've run out of hiding places and have took up swine farming.

Good discussion! It's old thinking that destroyed the revolution.There is no room for sentamental value.open thought and adaption keep the revolt fresh!
commrads I must depart.

New addition and word of the day: Dibble-dabble.