The People's Cube - Political Satire

Some racist, homophobic Teabagger is trying to corner the T-Shirt market by launching a line of intolerant slogans in support of the "Tea Party". See for yourselves some of the most intolerant and racist positions these mouth-breathing troglodytes subscribe themselves:

Amorphia Apparel wrote: + The Tea Party might have a quasi-mainstream official platform, but it also seems to be a magnet for far right loonies, angry racists, borderline psychotics and those that are simply grossly misinformed.

+ These shirts are for those fringe nutjobs that make the Tea Party rallies so much fun to read about.

+ Designs available in a variety of colors and styles, or feel free to try out our custom designer and create your own.

Here are the planks within the platform of hate:


Hey, why are we voting Democrat? Better yet: why are you voting Democrat, comrade?

Bristol and Levi Broke-up, That's Why I'm Voting Democrat.

Brewer Crackers, That's Why I'm Voting Democrat.

Unsure as how to teach your kids to Fist? That's why I'm voting Democrat!

There are still 91 world leaders that Obama hasn't bowed to yet, that's why I'm voting Democrat!

Most of the signs in America are still only in English, that's why I'm voting Democrat!

I'm confused. Are we selling these to Teabaggers, or are we supposed to wear these ourselves when going undercover at their rallies, so CNN and MSNBC will know how to find us?

Because I support the continuing enslavement of minorities--that's why I'm voting Democrat!

I am to vote for People's Democrat Party ™ because government entitlement check that is for the expecting every other week is not big enough! Because of Great Racially Induced Bush recession (SPIT! SPIT!) I am to being forced to now work SEVEN hours each week at government Office of Supplementary Correspondence for the Establishment of Augmentative Committees for the Lieutenant Undersecretary to the Third Assistant Director of Sanitation Management of the 47th Ward Chicago Alderman. My pension is only to be increasing by 20% this year! This is why the Democrats will be voted for!

I'm voting Democrat . . .

because they'll call me a racist, homophobic Teabagger if I don't.

cuz the rapublikans want me to get a ejakashun and a job.

because I don't want to have to move out of my parents' basement . . . ever! Mom! We're out of Mueslix! Can Dad go to the store?

because freedom and responsibility are way too much work.

because Democrats support my moral posturing.

because as a Democrat, I'm allowed to express my irrational hatred, as long as I pick politically correct targets.

I'm voting democrat so they can buy more slaves.

Oh, and congratulations, Chairman Meow! For your thought-provoking post and idea, because it's been a while since I handed this out to someone, you are hereby presented with Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award!






And a bumpersticker for your mother:


Additionally, an undisclosed sum of money will be transferred from your bank account and donated in your name to our "Beet of the Week Gives Back" Foundation, dedicated to raising awareness of how much I care about all the important issues I make out of everything! It's a great way for Beet of the Week winners to show how much they appreciate their hard-given success by giving back to their less successful communities.

I'm voting Democrat in order to keep my food stamps coming, so I can afford to have my nails done once a week.

I can solve The People's Cube, that's why I'm voting Democrat!

I am voting Democrat to save the Ground Zero Mosque.

I am voting Democrat so the childrens of the public schools can be for continuing learning about Islam and learn how to do the praying on the prayer mats.

I am voting Democrat just to see Dear Leader bow to Saudi King again.

I am voting Democrat so Palestine can be for having own country.

I am voting Democrat so Hamas can be for wiping out Isreal.

I am voting Democrat so that Iran can be for getting the bomb.

I am voting Democrat because if my peoples to be for making so much the cry of Islamaphobia the Democrats will be for letting Sharia Law to become law of land.

Thinking makes my head hurt, that's why I'm voting Democrat.

I want government run health care, so that a visit to the doctor will have all the whimsy of a trip to the DMV or the post office, that's why I'm voting Democrat!

Because I support the continuing enslavement of minorities--that's why I'm voting Democrat!
Oh, has that been said? WHO STOLE MY THOUGHT?

btw, look at this disgusting sign I found trudging my way to the Cube this morning. I ran over it with my bike, back up and ran it down again, then thought, "ah ah I should show it to the comrades!"

Because all the cool people are doing it. I'm voting Democrat.

Because I suffer from white guilt. I'm voting Democrat.

Because the Obama/Biden sticker won't scrape off my car. I'm voting Democrat.

Because I don't cling to God or Guns. I'm voting Democrat.

Because I believeo everything my college professor tells me. I'm voting Democrat.

Because I dropped out of public school. I'm voting Democrat.

Because:

Bush is Hitler!
That's why I'm voting Democrat.

I believe in socialism that is national.
That's why I'm voting Democrat.

Republicans don't care enough about me to tell me how much salt to use in my food or what kind of green car to have in my driveway as I bike all over town. That's why I'm voting Democrat.

Only right-thinking people vote Democrat!

DNC = Equality!
(One could even add a little superscripted 2 to show how much more scientifically evolved DNC thought is.)

Dere's No Choice

Mama voted for Obama

By voting DNC, I can force change into other people's lives.

DNC = Cash for Free!

I'm voting democrat because the rich people have too much money.

I'm voting Democrat, because no Christian woman ought to be able to wear a cross around her neck when she is teaching little children in a public school.

Because our candidates like Alvin Greene will protect the Children's ™ 1st Amendment rights.
That's why I'm voting Democrat.

I'm voting Democrat because it's easier than thinking for myself!

I vote Democrat because they encourage my intimidation skills
I vote Democrat because I don't have anything to bribe the Tea Party candidates with.
If I don't vote Democrat, my collegues will crack my skull with a baseball bat.
Support Your Local Union Thug. Vote Democrat. Vote Democrat because your neighbor should be as miserable as you are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0sxMQu ... r_embedded#!


I'm voting for more change.

PALIN
Won't give me your salary check
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't make you pay for my boob job
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't make you pay for my abortion
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't abort enough Black babies
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't give your job to poor undocumented immigrants
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Would make a lousy Government Motors CEO
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't make your kids pay for Michelle's Spain trip
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't pose for Playboy
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't tax the economy to destruction
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't change the Constitution to Shari'a
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't allow Iran to have nukes
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't destroy Israel
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

PALIN
Won't spend trillions of your children's money
That's why I vote DEMOCRAT

I'm voting Democrat because if I don't, Obama will cry.

Hmmmm... Comrade Whoopie... is Dear Leader to have quivering lip because he is to be for starting to cry or have you been for taking snapshot of Dear Leader of his practice session of learning how to suckle off teet of our beloved MTE?

Mrs. Al,

Only you would think of the most personal, deepest darkest moments of Dear Leader. Is it because you come from the deepest, darkest cave of caves?

I'm voting Democrat because those religious bigot Rethuglicans won't allow gays who are in love to get married.

I'm voting Democrat because those evil Rethuglicans don't like diversity and multiculturalism and a country of 1000 languages and they want everyone to unify under one flag, one language and one culture and believe in God like the Boy Scouts do. Pttui!!

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