The People's Cube - Political Satire

Ooh, the hoarders threaten
My very wipe today
If I dont get some Charmins
Ooh yuck, I'm gonna faint away

Rolls, Children .. they're not in stock today
They're not in stock today
Rolls, Children .. they've just been bought today
They've just been bought today (yeah, yeah)

Oooh, see the vultures swooping
Our very aisles today
Burned up ... by this black roll market
Mad; hell .. we're half insane

Rolls, Children ... it's all for naught today
It's all for naught today
War, Villains
Is what you've bought today
Is what you've bought today

Hey, Hoarders
We've got to work all day .. we got to work all day
Rage, murder .. is in our thoughts today
Is in our thoughts today
Hey, Turders
We'll search you on E-Bay .. we'll search you on E-Bay

Ooh, the scum are threatning
My very wipe today
Gimme, gimme Charmins
Or there will be hell to pay

Rolls, children
There's not a lot today
There's not a lot today
They've all been bought today
They've all been bought today
It's all for naught today

I tell you now, Mister
You'll be remiss some day
You'll be remiss some day
We wont dismiss this day
We wont dismiss this day
We're really pissed today
Pissed today, pissed today ....

What the glib hooliganator said that Mick, Keith, and the guy playing the flugelcanairhorn said first.

People are acting like it's Woodstock or Monterrey because the Free Press shouts "fire!" into The People's™ crowded living rooms and cars.

most excellent equality!
'pelipsky

Most excellent, comrade. Please allow me to add to the Stones anthology.



It's the kind of virus you catch at certain crowded, dull affairs
Center of a crowd, spreading it around, making everybody scared

Well, it seems to me that it will spread too much in just one single year
And though you've tried you just can't hide your eyes are edged with fear

You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your 19th-COVID meltdown

If you got Charmin you are the lucky kind
But you may never see the light
Running down the ails with the Chinese flu is gonna cause a fight

The COSTCO store who supplies you put knew rolls on the rack
But the hoarding crowd tries finding ways of taking the whole stack

You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your 19th-COVID meltdown

Oh, who's to blame, that Trump's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make the matters worse. Oh, please

You were just in school when you had some fool who coughed all of the time
And after that you turned your back so you won't catch his kind

On your first trip was on a cruise to get some peace of mind
But after a while you realized you had fever all the time

You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your 19th-COVID meltdown

Oh, who's to blame, that Trump's just insane
Well, nothing he do don't seem to work
It only seems to make the matters worse. Oh, please

When you caught it mild you felt quite fine
But you were quarantined for nights
You were always given a thousand meds but till you cried all night

Your government who protects you passed a billion dollars act
While the media tries perfecting ways of hiding all the facts

You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here comes your 19th-COVID meltdown

Keeping this stone rolling...so we catches no cold.



Press so hot for her, Press so hot for her
Press so hot for her this CoVid cold
Press so hot for her, Press on fire for her
Press so hot for her this CoVid cold

Press the burning bush, Press stokes burning fire
Press a bleating volcano
Press so hot for her, Press so hot for her
Press so hot for her this CoVid cold

Yeah, Press tried re-writing her, tried re-firing her
Press thinks Trump's engine is permanently stalled
CoVid cold CoVid cold
CoVid cold cold cold
We're all tombstones

CoVid cold, CoVid cold
CoVid cold cold cold need a hand cream zone
CoVid cold CoVid cold
We dare not touch her our hands'll get froze

Yeah, Press're so hot for hot for her, Press're so hot for her
Press're so hot for her this CoVid cold
Keep your hands off the street, keep your hands off the street
Aw c'mon baby, stay home
CoVid cold, CoVid cold, cold, she's so c-c-c-old
But she's so useful, though

Yeah, CoVid cold

CoVid cold, CoVid cold
We think she was born in a Wuhan zone
CoVid cold CoVid cold, cold, cold
We dare not touch her our hands just froze
CoVid cold, CoVid's goddamn cold CoVid's
Cold cold cold CoVid's cold

Who would believe Press were so useful indeed
Will Trump's days get shorter will Joe's lights last long
Lie awake when the pain comes
CoVid'y will know, when you're old
When you're old, CoVid'y will know

That Press was so useful, their bleat bleat crazy
They bleat bleat crazy but stone stone rolled
CoVid cold, CoVid cold, cold, cold
We're so rolled, We're so rolled

Press so hot for you, Press so hot for you
Press're so hot for you this CoVid cold
Press're the burning bush, Press stokes burning fire
Press a bleating volcano

I can't get no Clean ass action
I can't get no Clean ass action
Cause I try and I try and I try and can't buy
I can't get no, I can't get no


So I'm driving in my car
And a man comes on the radio
And he tells me store after store
And it's all useless information
Bidettes are best butt irrigations
I can't get no, oh no, no, no!Hey, hey, hey! What do I pay?


I can't get no Clean ass action
I can't get no Clean ass action
'Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and can't buy
I can't get no, I can't get no


When I'm watching my TV
And a man comes on and tells me
How soft his tissue be
Well this can't be a plan because I'm too broke
The price is too much money
I can't get no, oh no, no, no
Hey, hey, hey, that's what I say


I can't get no Clean ass action
I can't get no clean butt action
'Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no


When I'm surfing round the net
And I'm looking here and I'm searching there
And I'm trying to buy some Scott

Who tells me baby, better come back, maybe next week
'Cause we see, that you are leaving streaks
I can't get no, oh no, no, no
Hey, hey, hey! What can I pay?
I can't get no
I can't get no
I can't get no
I can't get no Clean ass action

No plan of action
No clean ass traction
No clean butt waxing
I can't get no

Thanks for the edit idea Comrade Lennie

That has got to be the coolest Karaoke Hooliganism e.v.a.h.

Truly the title of MASS Hooligan of Karaoke is deserved! Oh, revered Groucho Marxist. Mirth explosions everywhere.

trembling forelock tug before greatest equality.
'pelipsky

jackalopelipsky wrote:That has got to be the coolest Karaoke Hooliganism e.v.a.h.

Truly the title of MASS Hooligan of Karaoke is deserved! Oh, revered Groucho Marxist. Mirth explosions everywhere.

trembling forelock tug before greatest equality.
'pelipsky

I have been known to hide things behind blind links if you look for them
Two for Howard Dean

Bismillah

There are no words, given the limits of our Cubetard equalityspeak to convey my astonishment at this reaction .... All.I can say is ......

Hey, hey ... you, you ... lay off that White Cloud
Hey, hey ... you, you ... lay off that White Cloud
Dont grab more stacks, cause two's the max
Of White Cloud (more to come ...)

Perhaps someone could do "Aisle Fighting Man" ...... I'll give you a line
Cause panic's here and the time is right for fighting in Aisle Three, boy

I live in an apartment during a 19 CoviD panic freakout
And I sit on the throne looking at the TP
Panicking that it soon will run out
Then in flies a guy whose all dressed up
Just like a Daddy Mack
And he says that if I have ten pounds
I can have his last Quilted Northern Tupac

And I said, Hey Hey .. You, You
Lay off the White Cloud
Hey, Hey .. You You
Lay off the White Cloud
Hey Hey .. You, You
Lay off the White Cloud
Dont take more packs cause TWO's the max
For White Cloud

The telephone rings, I say "Hi, it's me"
Is this Walmart on the line"
A voice says Hi, hello; We're sorry
No Charmin's at this time"
I said, "It's 3 AM and there ain't no rolls
Dont you people ever have some in stock?"
Just 'cause you hear bad news
Do we all have to be running amok?

And I said, "Hey, Hey .. You, You"
Lay off that White Cloud
Hey, Hey .. You, You
Lay off that White Cloud
Hey, Hey .. You, You
Lay off that White Cloud
Dont add no packs cause TWO's the max
On White Cloud

I was sick and tired, fed up with this
And decided to take the law in my hands
So tired of being peaceful
There was nobody who had taken a stand
I layed a few out, and I posted pics
I gave vent to the people's rage
By the weekend the smiling emojis
Were just like bouquets stuck on my Facebook page

And we say, Hey, Hey .. You, You
Lay off the White Cloud
Hey, Hey .. You, You
Lay off the White Cloud
Hey, Hey .. You, You
Lay off the White Cloud
Dont take more packs, cause TWO's the max
On White Cloud

If I should stick my hand in my crack
Because I had used the last page
Would it certify me, would you think I'm crazy
Would you think undies need change? needs a change?

If I could clean me, if you could bring me
A toilet called bidette
Would it be too much for my dirty butt
If skin broke down inside? cos it dried?

I said you know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it
You know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it,lack it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I lack it, I lack it, I lack it
I said can't you see that this old boy has been a hoarding?

If I should stick my hands in my butt
Used Hillary's last page
It wouldn't be enough to clean my butt
Would it help prevent a stain? undies stained

If I should dig down deep in my butt
Feces covered the page
Would it certify me, would you think I'm crazy
Should I flush and pull the chain? pull the chain

I said I know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it
I said you know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it,lack it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I lack it, I lack it, I lack it

I said can't you see that this old boy has been a hoarding?
And do ya think you've got the only White Cloud around?
I bet you think you've got the only Charmin in town
I said you know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it
I said they know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it
I said they know it's my last toilet roll now I lack it,lack it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I lack it, I lack it. I lack it...

DEPLORABLE COMRADE ON:

Land O' Gramsci!! We's a givin them buttpaper a-hoardin' porfiteers what fer' now, ain't we, Comrades; ain't we Comrade Director?

Callmelennie wrote:DEPLORABLE CMRADE ON:

Land O' Gramsci!! We's a givin them buttpaper a-hoardin' porfiteers what fer' now, ain't we, Comrades; ain't we Comrade Director?

Well, one things fer dang sure...CoVid and it's 19th Meltdown ain't stoppin' the lyrical hooliganism goin's on at the People's Karaoke Mill.

More information about rear ends than a black steer's tookus on a dark stormy night has swept the mind's of Karaoke Kat wranglers across the nation. Can we bring in the herd, Comrades?

Comrade Director??
just axin' for a friend

'pelipsky

I've been holding it so long
I've been sitting on the throne
Where's my tissue?
I've tried orders on the phone
I'm still sitting on the throne
I need some tissue big time

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Well, I'm constipated real deep
You've been starting to hear screams
Where's my tissue? child
I've been waiting in the hall
Been waiting on a stall
When the phone rings
It's just some friends of mine that say
"Hey, what's the matter, man?
We're going na come around at twelve
With some Indian Curry dish that's just going right through you
We're gonna bring a case of wine
Hey, let's go mess and stool around
You know, like we used to"

Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah

Oh, Laxatives they take so long
Oh, EXLAX, why you takin' so long?
Won't you come on, come on?
I've been takin' MiraLAX, drinking after dark
People think I'm crazy
Stumbling on my feet, shuffling to the seat
Asking people, "What's the matter with you, boy?"
Sometimes, I want to say to, to myself
Sometimes I say

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh, I need tissue now

I guess I'm staying to myself
It's tissue and nothing else
Lord, I need tissue, child
I've just been blotting out my butt
Crapping for a dime
Now, I need tissue, baby, yeah

Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah
Where's my tissue? child
Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah
Where's my tissue? child
Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah
Why, why, why, why

Kholy Khabarovsk, Comrade Director. By the stools of St Feces, we havent achieved these levels of scatologically hooliganistic.equality since "If You're Going In San Fransisco

Callmelennie wrote:Kholy Khabarovsk, Comrade Director. By the stools of St Feces, we havent achieved these levels of scatologically hooliganistic.equality since "If You're Going In San Fransisco

just fwi...Karaoke Hooligans of equality...but 'pelipsky hears Ivan THE Stakhonvets is hostin' a meet n' greet at Tractor Barn #2. Contact Ambassador to Texazistan for coded engraved invitation, here.

jackalopelipsky wrote:

Callmelennie wrote:Kholy Khabarovsk, Comrade Director. By the stools of St Feces, we havent achieved these levels of scatologically hooliganistic.equality since "If You're Going In San Fransisco

just fwi...Karaoke Hooligans of equality...but 'pelipsky hears Ivan THE Stakhonvets is hostin' a meet n' greet at Tractor Barn #2. Contact Ambassador to Texazistan for coded engraved invitation, here.

Eeeeeeeewwwwee that smell.... Can't you smell that smell?

Groucho Marxist wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:

Callmelennie wrote:Kholy Khabarovsk, Comrade Director. By the stools of St Feces, we havent achieved these levels of scatologically hooliganistic.equality since "If You're Going In San Fransisco

just fwi...Karaoke Hooligans of equality...but 'pelipsky hears Ivan THE Stakhonvets is hostin' a meet n' greet at Tractor Barn #2. Contact Ambassador to Texazistan for coded engraved invitation, here.

Eeeeeeeewwwwee that smell.... Can't you smell that smell?

'pelipsky hears what you did there, Mass Hooliganator...but that smell of death that surrounds us is a whole diff'rent band.

forelock tug,
'pelipsky

I am just now noticing that the Comrade Director accepted my Hooliganistic directive to replace "toilet paper" with "clean ass action." .......... As well he should, as the "Satisfaction" in question comes not from the "toilet paper" per se but in the utilization of the aforereferenced commodity to achieve ..... "clean ass action"

You should also know that Comrade Groucho suggested that I do "Under My Bum" but I declined saying, "I wouldn't touch that with a ten sheet roll" I just thought it was too much of a reach

Callmelennie wrote:I am just now noticing that the Comrade Director accepted my Hooliganistic directive to replace "toilet paper" with "clean ass action." ..... But of course, as the "Satisfaction" comes not from the toilet paper per se but in its utilization for "clean ass action"

You show also know that Comrade Groucho suggested that I do "Under My Bum" but I declined saying, "I wouldn't touch that with a ten sheet roll" I just thought it was too much of a reach

This colluding of karaoke collusion is noted.

Keep it rolling, dear comrades.

Dare to extend your reach.
'pelipsky