The People's Cube - Political Satire

A Reasonable Plan for World Peace

Today it's hard to escape the reality of what is going on in the world. I can't even walk down the street without seeing or hearing about people complaining about the environment, or foreign affairs and such. Everyone has their own ideas of what should be done to end these problems. Not only is it impossible to accomplish these people's demands, but the way they expect them to be accomplished is almost as if they thought the world works just the way they think it does. Being a professor of social sciences in modern society, I can see that the situation is worse than many might think. If this trend is allowed to continue, the consequences could be catastrophic.

In order to satisfy everyone's needs here in the U.S., I humbly propose a plan that will not only solve global warming, end the risk of animals going extinct, overpopulation, world hunger, poverty, but also war in general, and the feeling of guilt every American should have for being born in the capitalist state of America. This plan would also lay the foundation for a new world order in which a utopia for the people will be created.

The first step in my plan will be to move the population of America that live in the cities, such as San Francisco, New York, Chicago, and others underground as to protect them from the second step of my plan. The reason that only those who live in high-density infill are being offered this choice is because they are the few (or more accurately, many) who are knowledgeable about the world, and know just what should be done. The sparsely populated areas, being filled with the capitalist pigs, will be left in the dark as to what's going on. They have nothing to contribute to the utopic society after the final stages of my plan, and therefore will not be spared. The transfer of those living in the cities to underground will be quite simple for them to transition to since it is not far from their usual state of mind.

Once all those who are so privileged are safely underground, the second stage of my plan will be put into action. This country has a large nuclear weapons supply, which will be used too effectively destroy every country in the world other than our own. The ensuing nuclear winter will cancel out the global warming that the capitalists have created in their time of power. The population of the world will be reduced dramatically, ending many of the overpopulation problems that plague cities today. With the decreased population, the demand for nourishment will also decrease effectively ending the world hunger crisis. With the world hunger crisis solved, those who are left will have enough food to sustain themselves for the rest of their lives. No longer will other countries be called in to save a starving population, just to be shot at and attacked by the people they just saved.
The countries that survive will not have enough power or infrastructure to retaliate which will create a state of world peace. All endangered species will now no longer be at risk of being endangered anymore because of their not existing. This will end the guilt people feel when they hear about the rain forests being destroyed, and end their desire to take other peoples money to throw at the problem. The surviving people living in the underground bunkers will no longer have a sense of guilt because those who their guilt was coming from have been effectively removed.

The third step in my plan is to slowly release the populations out of the bunkers and into the newly cleansed world once radiation levels have reached safe levels. Even if there are still high levels of radiation around, humans will just evolve and adapt their new situation just like Darwin said, and because he was right, man will find a way to survive and flourish in the new world.

The fourth and last step in this plan will to effectively create a socialist utopia for the people where they are paid equally for unequal work and are treated with equality for all times to come.

There is always the choice to just nuke everything and leave nothing alive to end all conflict in the entire universe, but that is unrealistic. In order to accomplish that, we would first have to confirm that we are the only life forms in existence in the universe, which in itself is impossible, but if we weren't alone, eliminating all life in the universe would be an enormous task in itself.

This plan could save the lives of hundreds of intellectuals whose advanced knowledge of social structure will be perfect for rebuilding a society with no crime, wars or general unhappiness. After all, with the way it's working in great cities like San Francisco, New York, and Washington D.C., I won't be surprised if it becomes the greatest society ever created on this planet. The chances of everyone realizing that the issues of other countries are really none of their business is impossible to achieve, and the false gilt forced on us to be ignored is equally impossible. Not only that, but there will always be wars, and there is no way to convince people that there is no stopping them from happening, and for the endangered animals to be left alone, there is nothing anyone can do to stop them from being killed. Global warming still can't be solved, because the problem doesn't exist in reality, but in people's minds and eliminating that problem would mean eliminating those minds. A daunting task indeed.

My part in this plan is severely limited due to the fact that I live in a sparsely populated area miles from the nearest city and would gladly give myself up for the common good.