2/1/2007, 1:29 pm
Who hasn't heard that "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter" - a relatively moral axiom employed by Reuters and other progressive news agencies? Very few, however, realize that it was modeled on an earlier idiom - "one man's trash is another man's treasure" - which, being a legitimate pearl of people's wisdom, lends some of its gloss to Reuters' counterfeit product. We like to call it "truth by association": if it sounds like what we believe is true, it probably is true.
The propaganda value of this logical device cannot be overstated - but it must be handled with caution, lest someone writes: "one man's Reuters is another man's Party organ" or "one man's head is another man's hole in the ground."
That's why, as a public service, we are offering an exercise designed to teach the masses to generate quality "truths" in bulk and on the fly, without thinking. One man's truth is another man's invention, everything is a matter of opinion, and one man's opinion is another man's truth.
MIMICRY
among insects and journalists
Mimicry is the close external resemblance of an organism to a completely different species in order to benefit from the mistaken identity. In the world of insects it's a butterfly that looks like an owl's head. In the world of news reporting it's partisan agitprop that looks like journalism, sounds like journalism, and contains words used by real journalists. As a result, some of the gullible readers may think that Reuters' "reporting" could actually be real journalism, when in reality it's only a masking device to spread the ideas of social progress: proletarian solidarity, equality of outcome, redistribution of wealth, and the destruction of reactionary forces as represented by American imperialism. The same goes for the BBC, AP, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, and other progressive organizations in charge of news coverage for the masses. One man's spin is another man's evening news.Testimonials
Thanks to this exercise I learned that absolutely everything is relative. Every objection has a counter-objection. Like, one man's syphilis is another man's political philosophy. After only five minutes of training I was able to call Bill O'Rilley on the radio and win the debate!Deconstruction
The oppressive English language only provides us with a male-chauvinist "man" constant in this formula. Replacing the sexist "man" with neutral "person" (as in "one person's bolts is another person's nuts") does not solve the problem because it excludes animals, vegetables, spirits, household appliances, and generally everything that has eyes or moving parts. Saying that "one man's appliance is another man's sex partner" does not include a notion that a woman may also be using an appliance as a husband, or that the appliance itself may have feelings and deserves to be a subject instead of an object. Perhaps, an ultimate politically correct, non-sexist, non-speciist, non-beingist term would be "thingy," as in
One thingy's thingy is another thingy's thingy
We have just demonstrated to you the concept of Deconstructionist approach to language and meaning, which for over a few decades has been applied by progressive academics, writers, TV producers, movie makers, and news media to recondition the masses to a new, progressive way of thinking.
The unstoppable advancement of the daily "truths" generated on a massive scale is going to bring the concept of moral relativity into every living room in America ahead of schedule. The arms on the clock of the revolution will start moving even faster towards midnight than it is warranted by the historical inevitability. Remember: one man's clock is another man's time bomb!
The People's Cube
Truth by Association Game
Associate two words in the standard structure provided, with apologies for lack of gender and species neutrality:
One man's __________
is another man's __________.
Start with pairing concrete objects (e.g., One man's medication is another man's candy), then move gradually to abstract notions (e.g., One man's ignorance is another man's strength), then try a combination of both (e.g., One man's soap drop is another man's lucky chance). You can try to rhyme them (e.g., One man's hope is another man's dope) or use alliterations (e.g., One man's shit is another man's Shinola).
Write down as many as possible, then try to categorize them. There are basically two categories. Be careful not to mix them up.
The Party's Wisdom:
logical fallacies whose very appearance of truth makes them advantageous for the party cause, albeit morally corrupt. Try to create a meaningless slogan with the patina of truth. Something empty yet stunning in its bogus veracity. Something pretty that will only disappoint us when we taste it. Feed us some crap, please. One man's crap is another man's crunchies.
- One man's yours is another man's mine.
- One man's free speech is another man's thoughtcrime
- One man's conspiracy is another man's revolution
- One man's re-education is another man's forced labor
- One man's dictator is another man's Dear Leader
The People's Wisdom:
folk sense that is meaningful and maybe even entertaining. These may be broken into as many subcategories as you like. See examples.
INSPIRATIONAL
- One man's problem is another man's solution
- One man's molehill is another man's mountain
- One man's ceiling is another man's floor
- One man's pet is another man's peeve
- One man's ass is another man's elbow
RIGHT-WING
- One man's supply is another man's demand
- One man's rights are another man's privilege
- One man's entitlements are another man's taxes
- One man's taxes are another man's pork barrel
- One man's stiff is another man's Democrat voter
AMBIGUOUS
- One man's apples are another man's oranges
- One man's man is another man's woman
- One man's pain is another man's gain
- One man's fork is another man's toast extractor
- One man's underwear is another man's business suit
Additional five minutes of this exercise will give you enough experience to call radio talk shows and prevail in any debate. After ten minutes you will be ready to have your own talk show with Air America affiliates. Exercise for fifteen minutes, and you can work as a White House correspondent for the New York Times, ready to interview President of the United States.
Imagine this interview:
- Vile Rightwinger: Folks all over the world deserve to live in freedom.
- You: One man's freedom is another man's slavery.
- Vile Rightwinger: I don't actually think that's true.
- You: One man's truth is another man's lie.
- Vile Rightwinger: You're just using one and the same formula and substitute variables.
- You: One man's variable is another man's constant.
- Vile Rightwinger: You're mimicking the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure" and you probably think that if you replace words it'll still be as good as the original.
- You: One man's original is another man's cliché.
- Vile Rightwinger: That's nuts. It's as if you can take a recipe for a good clam chowder, randomly replace the ingredients, and think that it'll taste as good as any other soup.
- You: One man's soup is another man's nuts.
- Vile Rightwinger: I can play this game too, you know.
- You: One man's game is another man's work.
- Vile Rightwinger: Folks like you believe that when you play word games like this, the end result is both meaningful and logical.
- You: One man's logic is another man's chaos.
- Vile Rightwinger: Well, it's not only morally ambiguous but also potentially evil. This may add the ring of truth to your reports, but that does not make them either true, or to the thinking person, palatable.
- You: One man's thinking person is another man's dummy.
- Vile Rightwinger: Right. And one man's ass is another man's elbow.
- You: Huh?
- Vile Rightwinger: It might be funny if it weren't dangerous, because when we play with words, we play with truth, and when people swallow it, they might just choke on it.
- You: One man's choke is another man's throttle.
Special thanks to Sister Massively Opiated (SMO) for contributing.
