The People's Cube - Political Satire

CHAPTER 2 - THE HIGH SKOOL YEARS

(Note from Obama: As I have said previously, my policy is to name this chapter "The High Skool Years"; it was never my policy to name this chapter anything else.)

Barack Obama attended high school (or was it school, high? Nah, go with the first one) at the prestigious George Orwell Academy for the Political Performing Arts on the West Side of Chicago. There, he met his best friends for the next few years, Fat Albert and Rerun.

Fat Albert was likable and very outgoing, but he could be rather shallow; you could almost think of him as two-dimensional. Rerun was a rotund fellow who loved revolutionary dance, although the spinning around made him dizzy. Rerun's most notable affect on the young Obama's life was to introduce Barack to his sister, Dee, who would later become Mrs. Obama. They immediately shared much in common, such as a love of Marxist Comedy and a propensity for name changes.The Orwell School was very high on sloganeering; in fact, the walls of the building were loaded with them. Phrases like "Freedom is Slavery" and "War is Peace" and "Buy Band Candy or Die!" importuned the eye wherever one looked, imprinting their kindly Stalinist messages into the mush of young brains. Obama was impressed with the messages, especially the band candy one.

The strategy of sloganeering seemed an ideal one for building revolutionary fervor in the hearts and minds of the oppressed masses. As a political weapon, it is a masterstroke; a minimal amount of data for low-information proletariat types to remember, yet an almost hypnotic effect from the repetition of the message. Obama was excited at his discovery! He wanted to rush home and tell mom the news, but first he had to go and buy some band candy or the telescreen would report him.

Obama's favorite subject in high school was Parliamentary Melodrama, taught by Mr. Trotsky. Despite Barack's love of the subject, his class participation was minimal and his report cards show him merely as "present" for these sessions on most days. Even worse, Barack persistently fell behind in Chemistry where his project to develop a Revolution-Promoting Extremely-Rapid Oxidation Device was, to coin a phrase, a dud. Luckily his lab partner little Billy Ayers was an expert in such matters, having blown up many tools of the oppressors in his mansion as a child. Billy was happy to help Barack out; in fact, he was always wishing he could do more, at least when it came to explosions.

In contrast, girlfriend Dee (whose name was now Aretha) was doing excellently in school. Her best subject was Anti-Imperialist English where she won a Double Plus Very Good Award for her essay, "If You Don't Give Me A Good Mark for This, You're A Racist!"

It wasn't that Barack was not bright, for as we all now know he is the brightest person there ever was or ever will be on this planet and probably lots of other planets we don't know about yet. No, the problem was that his great mind was on other things, bigger gooder things like bringing Hope and Change to the World and probably lots of other worlds we don't know about yet. But it might be hard because most people are too stupid to recognize brilliance when they see it; brilliance can only be recognized by the brilliant but they can only recognize some of the brilliance because you cannot recognize all the brilliance of someone more brilliant than you. That idea likely came from one of Chairman Mao's little Red Books that all the brilliant people were reading at the time.

Chairman Mao's other brilliant idea was to eradicate all the dummies who were not brilliant enough to recognize the brilliance in Chairman Mao. Would that work in the United States? Probably not, because the media was not in the control of Party functionaries as they were in progressive societies (Ed. note: It's true! They really WEREN'T back then! Hard to believe, isn't it?).

Media organs that reported news instead of performing their primary function of promoting progressive political agendas could foment counter-revolutionary movements among the unwashed. The downtrodden would lose sight of the current truth and start believing the newspapers because they contained comics and money-off coupons on toilet paper. No, unfortunately, the American downtrodden had to be CONVINCED of the superior person's correctness; they couldn't simply be told what to do, which is how it usually happens in more enlightened and progressive societies.

But how?

The answer came as Barack munched on some band candy: the slogan! Why had the capitalist oppressors succeeded in foisting the reactionary pig Richard Nixon on the American workers in 1972 instead of the enlightened President McGovern? It was so simple, it was brilliant - Nixon had a much better slogan than McGovern!

Nixon's slogan in 1972 was "Four More Years". It was clear, direct and left the huddled voter with plain instructions: "Give me four more years of power and then go on with your worthless little lives." There also was a touch of unspoken threat to it, a tacit demand that helped focus the simple minds of the simple-minded.

In contrast, President McGovern's slogan was "Come home, America!" What the hell was that? It sounded as if he was calling his dog! The easily-duped voter would be sitting in his living room and say to himself, "What's he talking about? I already AM home!"

This was a key insight from the brilliant mind of Obama. The average person retains no more than a few tidbits of information. Everyone remembers the words to the Winston Cigarette jingle ("Winston tastes good like a cigarette should!") but nobody remembers the Preamble to the Constitution ("Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth a new nation...") Why? Unlike the preamble, the jingle has the virtues of being short and easy to remember and contains no complex ideas.

Political campaigns back then were full of junk like platforms and philosophies and positions; there were just too many "P's" for the average downtrodden to be able to sort through and come up with the correct vote! Why confuse the unwashed with facts and figures that they are ill-equipped to deal with, and risk their wrong decision? Ideas were useless baggage in a Presidential campaign, pearls before the swine American voter. A slogan is all he would need; tell the voter what to do, instead of hoping he would come up with the right answer.



Barack set to work on developing his slogan, one that would mesmerize, control, and instruct the average downtrodden in a few key words. Below are some of his early attempts:

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing!"
"Obama does good like a President should!"
"Buy band candy or die!"
"You're hopeless but you can change if you have to, you guess."
"Believe that we can hope to change!"

COMING SOON: Another Chapter I will change the name of but will tell you I didn't and the media will report it as fact!

Didn't not the Obama Messiah also write, as an early attempt at sloganeering: <u>"If Che can do it, so can I!!!".?</u>

George Orwell Academy for the Political Performing Arts

Brilliant. As life imitates the Cube, I predict that reactionaries will start to refer to Barak [redacted] Obama as a "political performance artist". From thier point of view, this is a perfect description. Keep up the good counter-counter-revolutionary work.

Literary perfection and profound insight, Comrade Opiate. I predict your work will prove productive in the proselytism of the proletariat.

This is most efficient journalism for The People - much more efficient than Music Department at George Orwell Academy. I am still waiting for them to please be so kind and send me the box of Band Candy that I purchased when Comrade Obama was a cow bell honor student.

Hot damn! Another gurl on the Cube! Welcome, Bunny-Bun!

Comrade 9 wrote:Literary perfection and profound insight, Comrade Opiate. I predict your work will prove productive in the proselytism of the proletariat.

Thank You, Comrade 9, but the glory belongs to Comrade Obama for providing such noble inspiration. As Chairman Mao's little Red Book instructs us, "Art imitates life." (Depressing, isn't it?)

Comrade Bunny-Bun wrote:This is most efficient journalism for The People - much more efficient than Music Department at George Orwell Academy. I am still waiting for them to please be so kind and send me the box of Band Candy that I purchased when Comrade Obama was a cow bell honor student.

Comrade Bunny-Bun,
I will inquire if Comrade Obama will send you a box from his stash. He bought lots during his tenure.

Thank you Comrade Donor. While I await my box of chocolates, which Life also imitates, I am tempted to indulge my cravings elsewhere. I cannot decide whether to light up a Winston, which tastes good like a cigarette should, or take a few puffs of the Preamble to the Constitution. I'm not sure about the Preamble, but I have read that smoking the American Declaration of Independence can be very hazardous to the health of the resolute working-class proletariat.

Red Bubba wrote:

George Orwell Academy for the Political Performing Arts

Brilliant. As life imitates the Cube, I predict that reactionaries will start to refer to Barak [redacted] Obama as a "political performance artist". From thier point of view, this is a perfect description. Keep up the good counter-counter-revolutionary work.

Many Thanks, Comrade Bubba. We must not allow the reactionary forces in this society to obfuscate the road to Utopia, a road that passes thru the cemetaries of Chicago where the votes of the deceased workers will propel Barrack ------- Obama to VICTORY in November! I am sure the counter-revolutionaries will try to deny the dead their right to vote just as they denied the hanging chads their votes eight years ago! But there is a plan; some students at the Academy are psychic and have volunteered to channel the deceased voters so that they can cast their vote for Obama! All we have to do is get a judge to approve the plan (should be a snap from what I hear...)

Comrade Bunny-Bun wrote:Thank you Comrade Donor. While I await my box of chocolates, which Life also imitates, I am tempted to indulge my cravings elsewhere. I cannot decide whether to light up a Winston, which tastes good like a cigarette should, or take a few puffs of the Preamble to the Constitution. I'm not sure about the Preamble, but I have read that smoking the American Declaration of Independence can be very hazardous to the health of the resolute working-class proletariat.

Unfortunately, the Community Health Cooperative has determined these to be very toxic. Better to smoke a copy of Das Kapital; outstanding, and it is mild! Has a mild side effect in that it rots the brain cells but in a properly functioning society no one needs those anyway!

I must second the advice of the Opiate (Trust him...I mean look at the name, he should know this sort of thing. Stick to the things we know are good for you, classics like "LSMFT--Liberal Socialism Means Frightening Totalitarianism. So round, so firm, so fully packed! So smooth and easy on the draw!"

Opiate of the People wrote: it might be hard because most people are too stupid to recognize brilliance when they see it; brilliance can only be recognized by the brilliant but they can only recognize some of the brilliance because you cannot recognize all the brilliance of someone more brilliant than you.

It is the great gift to the masses that only Comrade Obama has the brilliance to recognize the supremacy of his own brilliance, and a knife in the chest of the enemies of the people that he obviously knows it.

As my old minister and friend comrade Wright once said, “An Oreo will not get soggy when floating in the white milk, but the cracker will immediately turn to mush in the chocolate!” He was a fiery articulate racist of many talents. And he had many red slogans that he gave the Chain-smoking, Mob-connected Obamamessiah to be used to indoctrinate the proletariat masses. They require minimal IQ but could be easily recalled during a protest rent a mob event even while drunk on welfare money or high from the free needle exchange program or methadone clinic. His most famous chant was a knock off from a famous civil rights chant. Reverend Jackass himself used on many occasions to get locked up on camera. It went:

“Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Kill Whitey and snort some blow!”
And the always popular:
“No money? No piece!”
Don't forget the favorite:
“One, Two, Three, Four, I got weed so close the door!”

Just writing them here on paper brings a tear to this old maggot infested, dope smoking commie's eye! How I long for the old days of double diget inflation, long gas lines and phony war protests paid for by our allies in mother Russia. I can only hope that someday soon Chain-smoking, Mob-connected Obamamessiah will raise his fist in the air and bring back our over spending out of control government with it's total control of the sycophantic media. Someday I guess, but it's just a dream comrades.

Freedomslave wrote: Just writing them here on paper brings a tear to this old maggot infested, dope smoking commie's eye! How I long for the old days of double diget inflation, long gas lines and phony war protests paid for by our allies in mother Russia. I can only hope that someday soon Chain-smoking, Mob-connected Obamamessiah will raise his fist in the air and bring back our over spending out of control government with it's total control of the sycophantic media. Someday I guess, but it's just a dream comrades.

Comrade Freedonslave,

Fear not. For the dream will be a short dream. Come the revolution in November, the Obamessiah will ascend to the throne and the dream will become reality! It will be a glorious day, comrade, and I can hardly wait for it get here. The good old days of Jimmy Carter will be here before you know it. And once more the light of Socialism will strangle the life out of Capitalism and the U.S. economy. Eventually, the Obamessiah will sit back and watch as his fellow traveler's stormtroopers in al-Qaeda come marching onto the shores of this evil, compassionless, country. Long live the United Soviet States of Amerika!!!

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev al-Hussain

Ivan Betinov wrote:I must second the advice of the Opiate (Trust him...I mean look at the name, he should know this sort of thing. Stick to the things we know are good for you, classics like "LSMFT--Liberal Socialism Means Frightening Totalitarianism. So round, so firm, so fully packed! So smooth and easy on the draw!"

Absolutely Comrade! My avatar is Television, the greatest purveyor of mental opiates the world has ever seen (even before CNN went on the air!) Tune in later today for the latest goodspeak about Comrade Obama and the glorious Party apparatchiks functioning away to make workers lives less bad and more good! Less filling (good, because the small mind has little room to store stuff) Tastes Great (better, immediate sensual gratification, ooooh!)

Radio Moscow wrote:

Opiate of the People wrote: it might be hard because most people are too stupid to recognize brilliance when they see it; brilliance can only be recognized by the brilliant but they can only recognize some of the brilliance because you cannot recognize all the brilliance of someone more brilliant than you.

It is the great gift to the masses that only Comrade Obama has the brilliance to recognize the supremacy of his own brilliance, and a knife in the chest of the enemies of the people that he obviously knows it.

Yes, it is true Comrade; we do not have the capacity to understand the Great One Obama for it is like playing 3 dimensional chess with Mr. Spock of Star Trek. We will always be 17 to 26 moves behind in our thinking! Already the Messiah is up to his 4th or 5th idea on many problems and we are still trying to understand his first! But to paraphrase TS Eliot, if we don't understand Obama's poetry, we don't deserve to read it.

if we don't understand Obama's poetry, we don't deserve to read it.

That is the beauty of Obamunism, there is nothing to understand:

Problem(Bush's fault) + (Obama envisions the problem melting away) =
(vote for Obama or you are a hatemonger)

Of course we don't deserve it, how could we possible deserve such grandeur?
We are all guilty of not being "the ones we have waited for" sooner, and our parents weren't either.

My Dog is Better Than Your Dog
My Dog is Better Than Yours
My Dog is Better 'cause We Get Obama Rations
My Dog is better Than Yours.

Woof!

None of you young pioneers will get this.
Neither will Red.

I apparently missed something. What's the deal with Comrade Obama and "More Cowbell"?

Welcome to the cube Comrade Muzhelozhstvo. What do you have against more cowbell?

Red Bubba wrote:

if we don't understand Obama's poetry, we don't deserve to read it.

That is the beauty of Obamunism, there is nothing to understand:

Problem(Bush's fault) + (Obama envisions the problem melting away) =
(vote for Obama or you are a hatemonger)

Of course we don't deserve it, how could we possible deserve such grandeur?
We are all guilty of not being "the ones we have waited for" sooner, and our parents weren't either.

Comrade! You posess excellent grasp of deepest principles of Marxist Dialectic:
Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis
Synthesis + 50 rubles = ride on People's trolleycar

Congratulations! You should be in line for Obama Medal of Hopeful Change which (along with 50 rubles) entitles you to a ride on the People's trolleycar (THAT is the one we have been waiting for.)

Will Paint Your Ceiling For Food!


creator, George Soros assorted cherubs, Bill Ayers, David Axelrod and Rev. Wright.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:My Dog is Better Than Your Dog
My Dog is Better Than Yours
My Dog is Better 'cause We Get Obama Rations
My Dog is better Than Yours.

Woof!

None of you young pioneers will get this.
Neither will Red.

Only comrade companion animals like Laika, hero of the People's Space Program, deserve the full bodied richness and meaty satisfaction of Obama Rations! Alas, my comrade companion animals could only achieve the less honorable reward of Gravy Train, a food so lowly it was forced to make its own gravy - right in the bowl. But that is the beauty of Comrade Obama's New World Movement: the top dogs may get Obama rations but even the lesser canines get to ride his Gravy Train!

Commissar Maksim wrote:Will Paint Your Ceiling For Food!

This picture should be presented to the Holy One at His Coronation. You will not have to disabuse him of the notion that it is a satire for it would not even occur to him nor anyone else to think such!

Laika the Space Dog wrote:My Dog is Better Than Your Dog
My Dog is Better Than Yours
My Dog is Better 'cause We Get Obama Rations
My Dog is better Than Yours.

Woof!

None of you young pioneers will get this.
Neither will Red.

Maybe it loses something in translation. Is that one of Mao's great poems?
Wo de gou hau, ni de gou bu hao.

I don't get it, the only poet I read is Tyrone Green.

Tyrone Green!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

--
ZB

Everyone who posts on this loop is Pinkie's Beet of the Week!

You all owe me a new keyboard after making me laugh so hard my tears fried the old one.

Bumper stickers to take home to your mothers ("My Child is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube!") are on backorder.

Please see Marshal Pupovich about the parking space usually reserved for the current Beet of the Week. He's refusing to give it up, and has become extra stubborn since his promotion.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Please see Marshal Pupovich about the parking space usually reserved for the current Beet of the Week. He's refusing to give it up, and has become extra stubborn since his promotion.

Parking Space? Surely you are aware only commisars and high level Party Functionaries have cars in egalitarian societies, comrade. All may be equal but some are more equal than others! Members of workers solidarity ride bicycles for transport. Uh, but latest 5-year plan has not worked so well so most have sold bicycles to buy vodka made from anti-freeze; but, we still happily pedal down street in pantomime as if we had them (just as Monty Pythons pretended to have horses in "In Search of the Holy Grail.") Yes, the spirit of the true revolutionary cannot be stymied (also, many still THINK they have bicycles since vodka made from anti-freeze can lead to misperception of reality.) But, either way, we soldier on! (Hic!)

most have sold bicycles to buy vodka made from anti-freeze; but, we still happily pedal down street in pantomime as if we had them

What's funny is down on the collective farm where they are tugging at plows and making tractor noises.

Ivan Betinov wrote: What's funny is down on the collective farm where they are tugging at plows and making tractor noises.

Have to admit, that IS funny....
May be inspiration for Comrade Obama's "Which President Am I Imitating Today?" routine. Would love to see if he loses election but continues the charade; maybe by calling a press conference to sign his electric bill and then hand out souvenir pens afterward. And guess what... the glorious fifth estate will likely cover it as a major story!

COMRADES!!!!


It is impossible for us to lose in the upcoming election of power.

Obama will win hands down; on slogan's alone!!!

Riddle me this.....

How could HOPE! and CHANGE! ever lose to.....

McSame????




Our comrades are sooo clever. What genius came up with McSame, I must shake his hand.


BTW, another evil Barack twin sighting....

https://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://voteforbreakfast.com/images/super_barack.jpg&imgrefurl=https://www.voteforbreakfast.com/archive/major_candidates/barack_obama_prostitution_scan_1.php&h=340&w=350&sz=43&hl=en&start=2&tbnid=hQINdVinEs7DHM:&tbnh=117&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbarack%2Bangry%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den

F.A.R.C. Agent Ivan wrote: How could HOPE! and CHANGE! ever lose to.....

McSame????

Ha! ha! Agent, Ivan, you need to take the Obama Test!

https://www.obamatest.com

Your friend,

I am His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC ['Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Everyone who posts on this loop is Pinkie's Beet of the Week!
You all owe me a new keyboard after making me laugh so hard my tears fried the old one.

Pinkie, I hope you gave yourself the award as well for no one consistently makes me laugh more than you.

Ask not for whom the cowbell tolls
It tolls for mooooo....

F.A.R.C. Agent Ivan wrote:
BTW, another evil Barack twin sighting....

Whoa, talk about your haughty, imperious looks! It's a look that only the greats have: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler.... And he dresses better than Chairman Mao!

It's a look that only the greats have: Lenin, Stalin, Hitler....

No, that's a Mussolinni look if I ever saw one. Confident, aloof, superior, and clueless.

Ivan Betinov wrote: No, that's a Mussolinni look if I ever saw one. Confident, aloof, superior, and clueless.

Ah, yes! You have an eye for the megalomaniac, comrade! To paraphrase Bogart as Rick Blaine in "Casablanca": "Here's looking down at you, kid."

Commissar Maksim wrote:Welcome to the cube Comrade Muzhelozhstvo. What do you have against more cowbell?

I have none, Commissar. I just don't get it. I've been around for a while, but never really read the People's Comments. Just dropped by to look at the great examples of visual agitation and swipe one or two to use as avatars elsewhere while plugging ThePeoplesCube or Che-Mart at the same time.


BTW, wasn't Dee Roger's sister?

You don't get it?! How can a man be a valid Progressive presidential candidate without cowbell? "But how does having cowbell prove the bona fides of a presidential candidate?" you may ask. Actually, you may not ask. It is a topic that has been placed on the Obama campaign's Index of Forbidden Subjects (Volume 7).

Ivan Betinov wrote:You don't get it?! How can a man be a valid Progressive presidential candidate without cowbell? "But how does having cowbell prove the bona fides of a presidential candidate?" you may ask. Actually, you may not ask. It is a topic that has been placed on the Obama campaign's Index of Forbidden Subjects (Volume 7).

Ok. Just never heard of it. That and the whole Arugala dealy.

Comrade Muzhelozstvo doesn't know what cow bell is!? OH. MY. OBAMA!

See, Comrades! See what George Bush is doing to America! People don't know what cow bell is! People don't know what cow bell is!! We need to get No Child Left Behind properly funded before any more useful idiots sprout up not knowing what cow bell is! SHAMEFUL!

No, that's a Mussolinni look if I ever saw one. Confident, aloof, superior, and clueless.

Hmmmmmm.....?

Chumpy Obamalinni.

ConservativeMuzhelozhstvo wrote: BTW, wasn't Dee Roger's sister?

Comrade, it is obvious you have not been reading your current up-to-date revised version of history book! I hope you are not spending time listing to VOA or other subversive propaganda in your spare time. Now, repeat after me: Dee was Rerun's sister. The gasoline prices have gone DOWN to $4 under Comrade Pelosi! Comrade Obama ALWAYS supported the FISA bill. There, now you should be up to date with enough revisionist history to pass telescreen scrutiny.

Opiate of the People wrote:....up to date with enough revisionist history to pass telescreen scrutiny.

In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, television watches you!

BTW I like comrade Muzhelozhstvo's avatar made from a real WWII (Great Patriotic War) poster.

But you may not get his name just as he doesn't get the cowbell reference if you are not yet unfamiliar with the Mother Tongue. Muzhelozhstvo is an archaic term for "male fornication."



Speaking of more cowbell, thismay clear things up.
America's got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!

Laika, I think I'd go with Husseinito Obamalinni, aka "Il Dunce." The original Duce (for you ignernt types what don't spiggoty Eyetalin, it's pronounced "Doo-Chay") (more or less) used to stage similar public speaking engagements in which his loyal followers were prompted to chant "Doo-CHAY...Doo-CHAY...Doo-CHAY" whenever he paused to pose. Imagine the electrifying effect of thousands of people crowded into the street before the White House two years from now, once Hope and Change have fully kicked in, chanting "Dun-CHAY...Dun-CHAY...Dun-CHAY!"

Red Square wrote:But you may not get his name just as he doesn't get the cowbell reference if you are not yet unfamiliar with the Mother Tongue. Muzhelozhstvo is an archaic term for "male fornication."

Shouldn't we tell comrade Muzhelozhstvo that the Cube already has it's token gay, and he needs to realize that he must be an understudy to Theo?

Red Square wrote:
In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, television watches you!

This explains much, Comrade! Was wondering why CBS Eye (Communist Broadcast System) on TV screen seemed to follow me around the room as I was shovelling! Have seen same phenomena with eyes in Stalin's picture.

Da. This was implemented in the good old days of Communists For Kerry.



In related news:
<br>Communists For Kerry Take Over CBS Building, Erect Wall Of Protection, Establish Freedom Zone, Change Fall Line-Up

I got kick out of the Obamesiah photo shoot for wearing my head scarf.

Red Square wrote:Da. This was implemented in the good old days of Communists For Kerry.

Is brilliant piece of treachery worthy of Beria himself. The Party members think it's on level, the counter-revolutionaries think it's joke. Each will betray himself thinking he is betraying the other. Each will be caught up in true paranoia, trying to figure out who friends are and who enemies are. While everyone is watching everyone else, Bolsheviks sneak in and stage coup when no one is looking! Regrettably, comrade Kerry did not have strong enough revolutionary spirit to take advantage of the chaos. In hindsight, we should not have expected strength from effete man supported by decadent wife that sells catsup! If only Party could find man who married strong, burly woman with shovel! Then, we would have something!

Opiate of the People wrote: If only Party could find man who married strong, burly woman with shovel! Then, we would have something!

Excellent idea for vetting a possible state leader! In a worst case scenario this November, should the operators of the oppressives manage to hang chads in Broward &/or rig the Diebolds of Ohio again, I suggest a Four Year Plan to reprogram Comradette R. O' Donnell for opposites & pair her with one of potential.

... or this could be a real career opportunity for Commissarka Pinkie who should review names in her romantic diary for possible presidential candidates on the Democrat ticket.

I was hoping for the assignment of reprogramming Comradette O'Donnell. You know the commissar's old cliche', "to each according to need, from each according to ability"? Well, I've had the need to contribute to the cause since before last May Day, so if there's comrade alive desperate devoted enough to generate the ability to take a gal like Rosie to reeducation camp, then that comrade would be I.

Comrade 9 -

I think you just came up with an excellent progressive pick-up line! (Substitute "Rosie" for any female prole next to you in the vodka line.)

Red Square wrote:

Opiate of the People wrote:....up to date with enough revisionist history to pass telescreen scrutiny.

In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, television watches you!

BTW I like comrade Muzhelozhstvo's avatar made from a real WWII (Great Patriotic War) poster.

But you may not get his name just as he doesn't get the cowbell reference if you are not yet unfamiliar with the Mother Tongue. Muzhelozhstvo is an archaic term for "male fornication."



Speaking of more cowbell, thismay clear things up.
America's got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!

<br>Got it. I'll just go back to shoveling and listening. As far as the avatar, I can't read the caption. I'm told it's slavonic. Here's a larger version if anybody can help.

The caption says: "Our army is the army of liberation of the toiling masses. - I. Stalin"

The two on the poster do look rather liberated. As always, Comrade Iosif Stalin hit the nail on the head.

Red Square wrote:The caption says: "Our army is the army of liberation of the toiling masses. - I. Stalin"

The two on the poster do look rather liberated. As always, Comrade Iosif Stalin hit the nail on the head.

Knowing Stalin, I would wonder if the peasant is вор в законе and the soldier is one of the Суки off to war.

Only Red will get the sarcastic irony in what I said.

--
ZB

Comrades!!!


A wonderous picture of our fellow proletarians, worshipping at the simple SIGHT of our Messiah, Barack OBAMA! (PBUH)

Notice our NON-arrogant, future Dictator, correctly lifting his head above those lesser communists.? I respect his power and charisma, don't you all, comrades?



I wish I could have been there and held his hand <sigh>........

Comrade Opiate and esteemed fellow Cubists, what an outstanding, audacious, bodacious thread. I coughed up a hairball that nearly spit my intestines after laughing so hard!

It seems that Chumpy Obamalini could also be a gourmet dish in honor of BHO (Benevolent, Honorable, Omniscient). Of course, it would be served in only the finest dining establishments to the discerning elite...present company, etc. Perhaps it could come in Chicken and Shrimp flavors?

Comrade Laika, it is by the good graces of the Collective I have been feasting on Gravy Train^TM for many seasons, and only the best vodka can wash away the aftertaste. How can I order a large Chicken Chumpy Obamalini to go? Perhaps the noticeably absent Marshal Pupovich will approve such a humble request?

Forgive me if my above missive appears as complaining, I still enjoy the tingle up my paw whenever I hear the Annointed One speak. When will the silly Amerikkans realize they don't need an election? If a mob with Kalashnikovs was good enough for Mao and Iosif, why is it not good enough for The One We Are Waiting For?

Mousey-Tongue, the election is necessary to identify and weed out thoughtcriminals; specifically those guilty of hate crimes and war crimes.

If you do not vote for Obama, then you are obviously either (a) racist, or (b) ignorant and uninformed, otherwise known as "stupid."

Racism is a hate crime. If you don't vote for Obama, then you're guilty of a hate crime.

Stupidity is a war crime explained by one word: Bush. Stupid people voted for Bush not once, but twice, and possibly a third time by voting McCain. By voting for Bush and/or McCain, you are essentially signaling your support for their crimes and criminal policies, thereby making you just as much of a war criminal as they are.

It's just that simple.

Once all the criminal voters are eliminated re-educated, no further elections will be necessary.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Once all the criminal voters are eliminated re-educated, no further elections will be necessary.

Disagree, Comrade Pinkie. Elections will still be necessary for people to ratify wonderfulness of wonderful Party leaders! (Also give workers occasion to wear new shoes which only took 5 years of wages to purchase.) What will no longer be necessary is more than one CHOICE on ballot for election. Please to examine simplified ballot that even Florida voter knee-deep in hanging chad will not be able to screw up:


Presidential Election Ballot (select one):

Barrack Obama (D) __
Death by Firing Squad __

Commissar Maksim wrote:

^^^^ That is flippin' awesome!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Once all the criminal voters are eliminated re-educated, no further elections will be necessary.

I believe this is the Change that is spoken of by The One...Change You Can Believe In, or the removal of the last vestiges of the corrupt capitalist democracy called the United States.

A kitten can only dream...and hope...

IF only Mao could be here to see this, the boot of Socialism firmly planted on Uncle Sam's scrawny neck!

Commissar Maksim wrote:
creator, George Soros assorted cherubs, Bill Ayers, David Axelrod and Rev. Wright.

Not that is has any connection to the thread, but I saw this animation on some website today...

Verrry interesting...notice God always wins...

(or is that Marx?)

Red Square wrote:The caption says: "Our army is the army of liberation of the toiling masses. - I. Stalin"

The two on the poster do look rather liberated. As always, Comrade Iosif Stalin hit the nail on the head.

Ah, Спасибо Comrade. Guess you'd have to be there. Anyways, saw it on the People's Google and just had to have it.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Verrry interesting...notice God always wins...

(or is that Marx?)

Greetings, Comrade! They are actually one and the same, but Party doctrine says God does not exist. So therefore, Marx does not exist. Aaargh, I've committed thoughtcrime! Sorry, must now go hit head with shovel repeatedly until unfortunate tendency to think logically disappears from brain and I can resume my place as useful cog in Party machine.

I think the Il Douche should be wearing one of those paper Burger King crowns

... or you can just Photoshop O's face on the body of Burger King from TV commercials, where BKs are as omnipresent as Os.

Nancy wrote:I think the Il Douche should be wearing one of those paper Burger King crowns

I always preferred the Long John Silver's pirate hat.

OK, why am I starting to think of that old Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd cartoon, where a bunch of different hats flew out of the back of a truck (Acme Hats, I presume), only to land on Bugs' and Elmer's heads, and their behavior would change according to whatever hat the wind tossed onto them?

Comrades, I propose that we rename the Four Seasons as the Douche Grill, and it will feature a menu comprises mostly of peoninis.

Which is <i>not</i> in anyway a word suggestive of a hate crime as was the word "niggardly."

Red, you're going to be in Denver for the festivities, right? Just an evil thought, but do you think with an arm-full of Xeroxed flyers and some street activism you might convince the terminally clueless who will infest the procession route that Obama loves to be called "Duce" and that it would really make his day for the crowd to be chanting it as he passed?

I am afraid Cube dwellers have strayed far off Dear Opiate's lecture points. I raise the charge that subversives are here, exercising unrestrained thought to connect swirling dots between an oyster cult...the dancing Walken person...our beloved forefather Benito...the motherly gaze of CBS...and our long awaited Child of Schwartzie whose time draws near. This is madness which threatens the orderly transfer of power.

I ring the cowbell of alarm with gnarled hand from my earthy bungalow! The cowbell is music from childhood in the motherland. It brings to mind sunshine, grassy fields, plump beasts and serene comrades dwelling and toiling together under the yoke of common good, each according to his abilities.

In days of yore, the cowbell was off beat and annoying only to the ears of stubborn villagers who insisted on speaking in complex sentences. Some did not come to appreciate the power of The Slogan until many visits with counselors and human resource specialists. I beg of Dear Opiate to reassert authority in the Cube! A monstrous strain of humor and cynicism threatens our state of utopian calm.

Droxana wrote:I am afraid Cube dwellers have strayed far off Dear Opiate's lecture points. I raise the charge that subversives are here, exercising unrestrained thought to connect swirling dots between an oyster cult...the dancing Walken person...our beloved forefather Benito...the motherly gaze of CBS...and our long awaited Child of Schwartzie whose time draws near. This is madness which threatens the orderly transfer of power.

I ring the cowbell of alarm with gnarled hand from my earthy bungalow! The cowbell is music from childhood in the motherland. It brings to mind sunshine, grassy fields, plump beasts and serene comrades dwelling and toiling together under the yoke of common good, each according to his abilities.

In days of yore, the cowbell was off beat and annoying only to the ears of stubborn villagers who insisted on speaking in complex sentences. Some did not come to appreciate the power of The Slogan until many visits with counselors and human resource specialists. I beg of Dear Opiate to reassert authority in the Cube! A monstrous strain of humor and cynicism threatens our state of utopian calm.

Comrade Droxana,

Have you tried A Party™ Approved Margarita™?

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Commissar, 1st Chief Directorate of The Party™ Approved Margarita™ Research and Operations

Quoth Droxana:"...our state of utopian calm."

Uh, have you ever partied with the Chairman? Or had our Many Titted Empress in a tit-wringing rage? Or been followed by a fruit stand singing "Tico Tico"?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Quoth Droxana:"...our state of utopian calm."

Uh, have you ever partied with the Chairman? Or had our Many Titted Empress in a tit-wringing rage? Or been followed by a fruit stand singing "Tico Tico"?

Or been in a Turkish prison?

Oh, you mean the Turkish prison scene that Our Empress wanted in her guest suite at Rancho de Rio Grande? She was the prison's warder, Mustafa Kuhnt, with life-or-death powers over the inmates.