The People's Cube - Political Satire

In an unabashed show of Neocon power, the Bush administration dragged the legendary Rolling Stones' lead singer Mick Jagger off the stage and threw him in prison without trial. It happened Sunday night in front of 36,000 Stones' fans, as the musicians were getting ready to kick off their latest tour with a concert in Boston's Fenway Park. Upon witnessing the arrest, the fans quietly went home in groups of not more than three, content in their knowledge that Jagger was right and not simply running his big mouth when he sang the new song My Sweet Neocon:

It's liberty for all,
Democracy's our style,
Unless you are against us,
Then it's prison without trial

"It's no big deal," commented White House spokesman Scott McClellan later that night. "We imprison musical celebrities all the time. We're sure Mr. Jagger expected this would be the outcome of writing that song, so he no doubt welcomed his fate."

Mr. Jagger was immediately transported to The Barrow Labor Camp in Alaska - where he will be joining other music acts who were punished for "going up against" Neocons in general and President Bush in particular. "That is why one never hears anything, ever, from former Bush-critics such as Bruce Springsteen, the Dixie Chicks, Dave Matthews, Moby, Sting, and Roger Waters," Mr. McClellan added.Unlike the rest of the Rolling Stones whose interests do not generally reach beyond sex, drugs, and Rock'n'Roll, Jagger has made himself quite a name as a brilliant social commentator and an articulate authority on theology, moral philosophy and political history:

You call yourself a Christian,
I call you a hypocrite.
You call yourself a patriot,
Well I think you're full of shit

As one fan put it, "Anyone that popular must know everything." Another fan offered, "I respect Mick Jagger because he only criticizes the United States."

It is a matter of common knowledge that the Neocons have been arresting political opponents since Bush took office in 2000, dragging them out of their homes in the middle of the night, and placing them in makeshift prisons and labor camps. This was most noticeable during the 2004 Republican National Convention in New York City, when thousands of anti-Bush protestors were met by Neocon tanks that rolled down Seventh Avenue. "That really has stopped all anti-Bush political expression in the United States, now hasn't it?" a popular Neocon radio talk show host has observed.

The consistent policy of imprisoning dissenters without trial explains why today's national media unanimously support President Bush's foreign and domestic agendas. The "prison without trial" policy has resulted in the abandonment of all anti-Bush blogs, web sites, and T-shirt vendors, to say nothing of the complete silencing of all opposition. Behind bars today are Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, John Conyers, Charles Schumer, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Cynthia McKinney, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Ramsey Clark, Michael Moore, Al Franken, and many others who have not been heard from in years.

"We have, of course, cancelled all the Rolling Stones concerts," White House spokesman concluded, promising that no one will ever hear from the band members - and especially from Mick Jagger - ever again.

Ever notice that Mick's face looks alot like this man's:



THE NEO-CONS POISONED JAGGER WITH DIOXIN!

"Maureen Dowd is no more qualified to have opinions than I am." - Mick Jagger

How true! How true!

We have contacted the supreme PNAC overlords to sign a mutually beneficial non aggression pact in order that Comrade Jagger's status as a non-person be revoked.

The central committee's analysis of his lyrics clearly indicate that he is a party member in good standing.

observe:

"I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain"

Clearly his laudatory participation in the liquidation of monarchist elements is to be celebrated by all peace loving peoples worldwide.

It has also come to our attention that he has, many hundreds of times, in an almost mystical foreshadowing, praised our future glorious leader in training comrade Chelsea Klinton:

"I was raised by a toothless bearded hag
I was schooled with a strap right across my back"

Normally the people consider such mystical powers to be a counter revolutionary Zionist plot, however for the sake of global peace and brotherhood among all nations we will tolerate this insolence.

I don't believe it!

This is obviously capitalist propoganda. The glorious Comrade Jagger is simply in Crawford, Texas with the new and upcoming thought-police commissar Ms. Sheehan working out new and effective plans of action. Your local ACLU officer will be stopping by your government issued housing unit shortly to inform you of this news.

"Anyone that popular must know everything."

That was so funny, the People's Milk spilled out, of my proletariat nose...

Stone the Rolling Bourgeois!

Common and Average for All!

Mick Jagger scares me.

puke wasn't meant to swim in...DOH! wrong drunk that was Jimi...same time frame tho

Trouble is I remember that sh*t happening lol.

We object to this revocation of Mr. Jagger's status. We must not overlook this thoughtcrime:

Hear the screams from Center 42
Lound enough to bust your brains out
The opposition's tongue is cut in two
Keep off the streets cause you're in danger

One hundred thousand disparos
Lost in the jails of South America
Cuddle up baby
Cuddle up tight
Cuddle up baby
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover of the night

The sex police are out there in the streets
Make sure the pass laws are not broken
The race militia has got itchy fingers
All the way from New York back to Africa

...

All the young men they've rounded up
Sent to camps back in the jungle
And people whisper, people double-talk
At once their fathers act so humble
All the young girls they have got the blues
They're heading on back to Center 42

...

Down in the bars, the girls are painted blue
Done up in lace, done up in rubber
The john's are jerky little G.I. Joe's
On R&R from Cuba and Russia
The smell of sex
The smell of suicide
All these things I just can't keep inside

Undercover
Keep it all out of sight
Undercover of the night...

Fuck the Stones too. Isn't it amazing that Ameriquest Mortgage is their corporate sponser? They need a few phone calls and a boycott, better yet, have a bunch of people fill out refi applications and after they open title, two weeks later call and say "Fuck you, the Stones offend me."
Ameriquest then eats the appraisal, search, and commitment fees to the title insurance company to the tune of $500 - $1000 bucks. Sweet, I bet the Stones would get the plug pulled.
They've sucked ever since they murdered Brian Jones. Keith pushed him into the pool and him and Mick kept pushing him under with the pole of a skimming net. The next day they put on a free concert in Hyde Park and released a thousand white doves (preordered by a week) for "Brian's memory." The coroner never could "explain" the bruises all over Brian's body, other than "he was a drunk and a addict" and probably fell down a lot that day, July 3rd 1969.
Oh, and Keith's Vampirism, always going to Geneva to get total transfusions, so he could enter the states, that's normal behavior, right?
I could go on all night. Besides, The Who rocks!

Dear PittProl,

I agree wholeheartedly with everything except for your love of the Who? After all, did they not murder Keith Moon by sticking his head in the toilet and holding it there with plungers? And the recent exposed perversion of their guitarist and song-writer is a definite buzz kill.

Yes, Pete's affliction is deplorable and he knows it. He was abused as a child (Uncle Ernie) and has suffered for it ever since. It's a shame. But the music stands alone. Everything the Stones did after Brian pales in comparison. Besides, I barely remember the Stones being at the Concert for NYC, while the Who stood out.
Get off my friggin cloud!
OK, how about Keith and Anita Pallenberg coming across a fatal car accident while driving through Morocco. Anita has the car stopped and she and Keith get out a sop up the blood of a dead man with scarfs and handkerchiefs for their voodoo rituals. Top that for sickness.

All right, if the truth be known, my favorite band is The Moody Blues.
No weirdness here. The core 7 albums ("Days of Future Passed" to "Seventh Sojourn") had 5 singer-songwriter, multi-talented instrumentalists that is the definition of "Classic Rock". Proletarian Supermen! Everything the Soviets thought they could do, but couldn't. You can't find it anywhere else in Rock history. Brian Jones should have been with The Moody Blues. He'd probably still be alive.

Well done with the New York Post 1/2 page this past Saturday Oleg. Someday we will reign stupidity on all the mainstream media.

Ernesto.

PittsburghProletarian wrote:my favorite band is The Moody Blues

"Nights in White Satin" is a great song, imo. I can't really narrow it down too much, as I have a pretty eclectic taste in music, but as far as classic rock goes my favorites are Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin.


Rich

Jimmy Hendrix was a great muscian, but after he listened to the people who said that his music wasn't "black" enough, it went down from there.

hendrix was a great musician right down till the end - he didn't change his music

style for anyone as much as i know.

i like his last albums as much as the early ones!!!

who said his music isn't black enough anyway...

This is an outrage. The only ones who are allowed to be silenced and imprisioned... erm, regulated by Party authorities... are conservative college students who dare to have meetings, rallies, and *gasp* a promotional table at university events!!!!