9/2/2005, 2:54 pm
In Georgia, a man was arrested for screaming environmental slurs at the passing clouds and threatening them with a shotgun, while in other areas local residents were seen "accidentally" ramming trees, rocks, and flowery hedges with their cars, trucks, and SUVs.
No warm fuzzy feelings remain towards the environment in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana. A couple driving a car with a bumper sticker that said "Nature Lovers" were dragged out of the vehicle and beaten with sticks by a gang of angry neighbors. Instead, offensive bumper stickers saying "Mother Nature is a Big Fat Whore" are flying off the shelves in the states most affected by the hurricane. Needless to say, global warming has increased.
Local residents reported to "accidentally" ram into trees
US Air Force preparing for a surgical strike at the heart of the enemy
France and Germany have called Bush's response "a knee jerk reaction" and urged more understanding and tolerance. White House spokesman Scott McClellan was quick to point out that "only last year France had 10,000 citizens killed in a heat wave, an action bearing all the hallmarks of weather." He also commented there was "another heat wave across Europe this summer, without a meaningful response from France and Germany whatsoever."
Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-CA: Bush lied again. He and Rove engineered this disaster so he could return early to DC and avoid meeting with Cindy Sheehan!
ACLU has warned the Bush Administration against profiling darker, heavier clouds and demanded that all clouds be treated equally, regardless of their origin, color, or elevation. Meeting their demands, US Air Force has detained a formation of cirrous clouds over the North Pole. The suspects were escorted over to the island of Cuba, examined, and then released after severe criticism from an international group Could Watchers for Peace.
Although Americans seem to be united in their response to the recent disastrous attacks, signs are emerging that the Democrats in Congress are giving in to radical pressure groups and begin to question President Bush's methods and motives. Senator Edward Kennedy has stated in a televised interview that Bush "knew" about Hurricane Katrina back in 2004, after a leading meteorologist had sent him a memo predicting, with an absolute certainty, that there would definitely be a hurricane in the following summer. "Bush knew," Kennedy repeated several times. A few whistleblowers have emerged since then exposing an alleged cover-up of corporate weather forecasters. Some Democratic leaders are now claiming that Bush had invited Katrina on purpose, in order to stir up media frenzy and thus avoid meeting with Mother Sheehan.
Big Media Lie (example)
The new Republican initiative is met with vehement protests from grass root groups bankrolled by George Soros, claiming that declaring martial law in Louisiana infringes upon the rights of the looters to freely loot, as they represent oppressed classes who have a moral right to get back at society.
Mother of All Protesters Cindy Sheehan sided with Mother Nature at Meet the Press yesterday, where she endorsed Hurricane Katrina as Mother Nature's way to liberate itself from the oppression of American imperialism. "A grieving mother myself, I understand Mother Nature's rage against America and George Bush in particular. I did not give Bush my permission to protect America from diddly-squat! I am outraged that he is sending our kids to fight an immoral war against nature in Louisiana. Our children were not raised to fight the Neocon war for Israel in New Orleans."
In other news, Jane Fonda and George Galloway's Anti-War Bus Tour is said to be diverted to Louisiana in order to protest the illegal use of US troops in flooded areas.