9/3/2005, 5:22 pm
In Mogadishu, militants laughed and fired guns in the air after watching CNN reports on looting in New Orleans.
"With American citizens like that, who needs enemies!" laughed Sheikh Hassan Dahir Aweys. "I was going to infiltrate America and blow myself up in a shopping mall, but I'll take my chances here, thank you very much!"
In Indonesia, Tsunami victims watched the scenes from New Orleans, mouths agape at man's inhumanity to man. "Are those the same people that helped us? I hope they don't come back here again!" said Azwar Abubakar, a ten year old boy. "After the tsunami, we all tried to help each other. In the USA they shoot at the rescuers and attack hospitals! I was thinking of going to college in the USA one day, but I'll take my chances against the terrorists and the tsunamis right here instead!"
"I used to think Sao Paolo was a nightmare," said Jose Rainha, sipping a drink on his porch in Boa Vista, Brazil. "I even thought of moving to the United States. But look at these maniacs in the streets! I'll stay right here, thanks!"
Naseema Ali of Bagdad, Iraq, was heartbroken as she watched the events unfold in New Orleans. "I went to the polls at risk of life and limb, believing in freedom and the American dream. Now I see that Americans are brutal monsters, worse than Saddam. I want Saddam back."
Perhaps happiest of all was Osama Bin Laden. "The Americans were making a move, I have to admit. Some people near me in Baluhistan were starting to think about switching sides!" the arch-terrorist said. "After watching this, they realized that life under the Taliban wasn't so bad after all!"
Osama did have concerns, however. "How am I going to find guys willing to infiltrate America after this? No terrorist worth his salt would dare venture into a place like that now!"
To some it may seem like a battle for the hearts and minds of Americans - but really, comrades, who cares what Americans think? The media sure doesn't, and Americans know it, and they don't trust their media, and the media knows it too.
Progressive schools have taught our reporters to act locally while thinking globally. That is, present local news in a way that helps the global advancement of the Greater Good™. Behind all the petty local bickering, a magnificent global goal gets accomplished - to paint America as a dark, unjust, inhumane hellhole to the rest of the world. The global advancement of the Greater Good™ requires that the worlds' peasants give up any fantasies about American liberties and focus more on obeying their progressive masters.
It's amusing to watch our opponents debunk us in the local media long after our progressive reporting has been rebroadcast, reprinted, and regurgitated all around the world as absolute truth. Nobody listens to Limbaugh outside the US, but everybody watches CNN International and reads the New York Times. So if more and more foreigners have an unfavorable view of America and its people, it speaks volumes of our brilliant strategy.
We can't always convince Americans of the horrors of capitalism, but we can force-feed the rest of the world incessant and unchecked coverage of alleged American evils. Then we interview a foreign citizen whose head is spinning from our unopposed propaganda, and throw his regurgitated opinions back on American audiences. Voila - the weak-minded have no choice but to see how angry the rest of the world is at Americans. Works like a charm.
America's image abroad is being shaped by its media who is working relentlessly to destroy the very image they are being paid to portray objectively and professionally. Propaganda is a one-way street - and we are moving ahead forcefully, red banners held high.
More are joining the global march toward socialism daily - with each fabrication, each skewed article, each half-truth by an American reporter rebroadcast over the world's networks.
Why are progressive Americans helping us against their national interest? Because on a progressive moral scale, "good" is whatever helps the advancement of global socialism!
