The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

It has become clear to the central committee that those of you who have outsourced your thinking functions to the Party (which is all of you if you know what's good for you) may not have been properly conditioned prepared to recognize racism in all its ugly disguises. This Communique is designed to help those who need to improve these skills.

Being against ObamaCare is racist. This includes any of the 63 or so bills currently being considered by the Party.

Worrying about the deficit is racist, unless you blame it on Bush (41 or 43) or Reagan, whose fault(s) it really is.

Failure to acknowledge the reality of global warming climate change is racist.

Laughing at Chicago not receiving the 2016 Olympic Games which are rightfully hers theirs is racist. So is hinting, suggesting, implying, imagining or thinking that this failure is Obama's fault.

Attending the 2016 games in Rio is NOT racist as long as attendance is accompanied by constant grumbling and muttering about how the games were stolen from Chicago.

Not laughing at Janeane Gawdawfulo is racist. Unless she is being serious at the time, then it becomes racist to laugh. Not knowing the difference is racist.

Not buying a new car from GM or Chrysler is NOT racist, unless you bought one from Ford, Toyota, Hyundai, Nissan, etc, etc, instead.

Listening to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, et al, is also NOT racist unless the listening is performed WITHOUT screaming and yelling of denounciations at the TV, radio or other electronic device which is broadcasting the program. NO exception is made for driving a car, handling nitroglycerin, performing brain surgery, etc. FAILURE to denouce is racist.

Wanting a tax cut is racist, as is remembering that Obama promised you one last year.

Praising any former President except Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton is racist.

Worrying about terrorist attacks freedom-fighter outbursts of enthusiasm of an explosive nature on American soil is racist. Remembering 9/11 is NOT racist as long as you acknowledge it was Amerikka's fault.

Speculating about Iran creating a nuclear weapon is racist. Unless Obama announces they have one, in which case remembering a time when Iran didn't have one is racist.

Discussing what any general or military expert says about the Afghanistan conflict unpleasantness is racist, unless it is made clear they are idiots for disagreeing with Obama. If they disagree with Obama, that is. But they probably will. And that's racist.

Saying or thinking the 2009 Stimulus Plan is a failure is racist. Mentioning the current unemployment rate is NOT racist as long as one also mentions that it would be higher without the Stimulus.

Finding old graphs about unemployment rate predictions from early 2009 is racist, unless you turn them upside down:



Wondering if all of the stuff the Party and it's paid hacks honorable surrogates say is racist is really racist IS RACIST! The wondering, that is.

Failure to self-loathe is racist.

Not supporting the Mainstream Media is racist. Wondering if newspapers and broadcast TV news is obsolete is racist. Including FOX News in "broadcast TV news" is racist.

Failure to take it seriously when a TV commentator or newspaper columnist wonders if something is racist is racist.

Attending a "Tea Party" is racist, unless it happens to really involve tea and is held in someone's home. And nothing is said about Obama. Unless it's in the nature of "How great he is!" Otherwise, it's racist.

Mentioning ACORN is racist. Unless it's to solicit funds for their legal defense fund lawsuits against various and sundry racists.

Black people African-Americans People of Color are the truest arbiters of racism. If a Person of Color says something is racist, then it is racist.

Thomas Sowell, Walter Williams, Clarence Thomas, et al, are NOT people of color. But they are racists.

Talking of Presidential Approval Polls is racist. Unless we get back to over 60%, then not talking of Presidential Approval Polls is racist.

Any statement concerning the size of the First Lady's butt is racist, unless accompanied by the phrase "I wish I could look that good" or the like. Even if you're not a womyn.

Watching something else when Obama is on TV is racist.

Not knowing something is racist is racist.

Failure to read this communique is racist.

Thinking these guidelines are silly is racist.

Opiate, I denounce you. You wrote "Amerikka"--everyone knows that it is spelled "AmeriKKKa." When will you learn that the Democratic Party is filled with people overflowing with concern and love for the common man, is For The Children(tm), and tickles puppies under the chin? Whereas the Rethuglican Party is staffed entirely with members of the Ku Klux Klan? These are people who breathe through their mouths, instead of looking down their noses. They drag their knuckles instead of having them in other people's pockets.

In fact I have been doing some serious thinking after watching Keith Olbermann and Janeane Gawdawfulo talk. The Klan seems to be fairly benign compared to the Rethuglican Party. What kind of party could host a monster like Condi Rice? Or Walter Williams? Or Clarence Thomas?

So please, to keep your head from being anointed by Pinkie's shovel and your bum by one of my impaling stakes at the Rancho, learn how to spell AmeriKKKa.

Taking note of another Party member's racism is RACIST! This is the "Ferraro Rule." You KNOW what happened to her, don't you? (What the hell DID happen to her?) Oh, yes, she fell down the MSM memory hole and re-emerged in the Oregon wilderness near Bob Packwood's house. [sigh] Poor ol' Bob, if only he had taken Ted's advice and switched parties, he could've driven his entire staff off a bridge and.... Anyway, now not even Fritz Mondale returns her calls. Fritz Mondale! When was the last time you heard anybody interview him? Nada, nothing, not even NPR asking how it felt to lose 49 states to the guy who co-starred with Bonzo! Talk about personna non grata. He couldn't have got into the Denver convention with a mop and bucket. But HE doesn't bother to return Geraldine's calls! Think about that!

And furthermore, FYI: we DO NOT spell it "AmeriKKKa" out of deference to Sen. Byrd. Didn't you get the memo?

Wait, I thought it was only Sen. Byrd who was given permission not to spell it as AmeriKKKa.

Sheets Byrd can do what he wants. After all, because he's a Progressive and the world-champion pork barreler, he's immune.

Yes, I have to admit that Packwood was a fool not to have switched parties. All the women admitted that he stopped when requested. Had he become a Democrat, he could, as you note, Opiate, have murdered the entire staff.

Poor Fritz Mondale. He won as I recall only Minnesota, and that by 3114 votes, which is less than one per precinct. His saving grace is that he has never said anything that anyone could possibly consider intelligent.

This person is obviously racist! We must find this slug's family members and torture urge them to make sure he sees the error of his ways.

Comrades, Sen. Byrd is a party elder statesman, which means we turn a blind eye to stuff that we would be excoriating 24/7 anyone outside of the party for doing. Even if it were 100 years ago instead of 50. Think of "Friend of Angelo" Chris Dodd or Barney "What Housing Bubble?" Fwank or Charles "So I forgot a few million bucks" Rangel or... well, you get the picture.

Spelling Amerikkka without the extra "k" is a favor we do for our journalista friends; it makes it less likely we will cough up a loogie into their faces during press conferences (try pronouncing it with the extra "k" and see if you don't agree.) Not that it really matters much because they happily swallow everything else we shoot at them (Theocritus, I know what you are thinking here and you are very likely right.) Unfortunately, it's just so hard to scrub those embarrassing videos off of YouTube so we'd rather not have to make the effort.

Comrade Stalin For Time has made an excellent point: if you assume something is racist, it becomes racist even if it normally isn't racist. Thus, saying "I'm not a racist" means you ARE a racist because you were thinking you MIGHT BE a racist so you probably are. Ooooh, goody, the show trials this is going to generate.....

Opiate, I do take your point about AmeriKKKa, and the difficulty of pronouncing that extra <i>k</i>. But I don't mean it to be the normal K sound. I mean it to be that Arabic sound like cleaning peanut butter off the roof of your mouth. Because isn't that what progressive government is for? Surrendering to the next clear and present danger? And that is coming, quite obviously, from the Middle East.

Is it racist to dis the Dali Lama? I think it's probalby OK since those people are such overacheivers anyway. Asians make entitlement-minded "real" thug minorities look bad.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... happy.html
<br>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e1yoy1h73w

Red Bubba wrote:Is it racist to dis the Dali Lama?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e1yoy1h73w

Free Tibet... from Buddhist religious fanatics!

btw: I found this photo of Sen. Byrd wearing his Senatorial toga. Hail Caesar!

Whoopie, where did you get this? I recall seeing a presser with Byrd and the Governor of West Virginia. Sheets said, "I'll keep getting the money and you keep building them." This was right after the interview on the Communist News Network in which he talked about "white niggers." But of course since he's a Democrat, no one made anything of it. Sheets is <b>not</b> a racist. Even though he said "niggers." Because he's a Democrat. Get it?

Red Bubba, why are you worried about Tibet? Do you think that they can affect the voting in Chicago? Bear in mind that the only thing which affects the Doormat-in-chief is flying around the world looking good, preening in front of a mirror, a friendly TelePrompTer, and how in Stalin's name can you expect the Tibetans to give him the analosculatory welcome that the ChiComs can?

But then let's think. The ChiComs, being a good deal smarter than The Chosen One, because they have not been sheltered all of their lives, will no doubt be discourteous to the Doormat-in-chief.

As the Doormat-in-chief (thank you Pinkie) gave Lilibet in Britain an iPod of his speeches, the ChiComs will invite His O'iness to Peking--and give him a shoe-shine kit.

This is not a racist joke. Since Jimmey Carter and Janeane Gawdawfulo have decreed that any policy difference from that of the Chosen One is racist, it means that the very word "racist" has been emptied of meaning.

Well, it's about time all of this was cleared up.

And, I think you are on to something, Comrade Theocritus. If the word "racist" is now emptied of meaning then we have to come up with a new word for evil Tea Baggers and the like.

And how about that Oprah? She wasn't racist when she had Dear Leader on her show, but not Sarah Palin. It was an act of misogyny.

And Princess Michelle wasn't proud of her country for all of her life because it hadn't elected a black man, she only lacked pride all those years because her country hadn't supported a big eared Harvard educated Chicago Community Activist.

And all of those black Republicans like Colin Powell who crossed over to vote for Dear Leader weren't racist. No. They were drawn by his Hope and Change message.

Here's the home of Hope and Change: And on the inside Obama bakes cookies for 300 million Hansels and Gretels.

In the interests of accuracy comrade Theocritus, Sen. Byrd uttered the _igger word 3 times in less than 5 minutes while speaking on FoxNews Sunday. Fortunately, nobody (least of all our media organs) watches FoxNews.

The source of the photo(shop?) of Byrd in full Democrat regalia can be found on the picture itself.

Leninka raises a good point about the need for a new word to describe our enemies. Perhaps we need a contest to find a new insult de jour.

Doormat-in-chief? Shoeshine kit? Well, the empress Michelle said "We need to fix our soles. Our soles are broken in this nation" so it's about time they get started on it, I guess.

Speaking of old pictures, see if you can guess who this is....


I thought maybe it was Alfred E. Newman in drag but Alfred E is actually a better fit to someone else:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Here's the home of Hope and Change:

And on the inside Obama bakes cookies for 300 million Hansels and Gretels.

CHOCOLATE??? GINGERBREAD???? RAAAAACIST!!!!



I hate M&M's but I just love W&W's.

(I'm sure somebody said that before me but it just came to my head.)

Opiate of the People wrote:Doormat-in-chief? Shoeshine kit? Well, the empress Michelle said "We need to fix our soles. Our soles are broken in this nation" so it's about time they get started on it, I guess.

Speaking of old pictures, see if you can guess who this is....

It's Komradka Hillary, da?

Opiate of the People wrote:I thought maybe it was Alfred E. Newman in drag but Alfred E is actually a better fit to someone else:

Yes We Can't! A most equal example of Doublethink!!

Komradka Lenya

A new insult-du-jour? Reality-denier? Hoping fool? Neither has a ring to it.

How about Gawdawfulo Bagger.

That's not bad. At all.

How about a Jeanie? That's what I'm told our friends on Air America call her.

That's a great one. I like Jeanie better than Gawdawfulo Bagger.
Did you get your Jeanie today?
All he needs is a good Jeanie, and he'll be himself again.
You think she's good for a Jeanie?

Jeanie might be inside the left. But Janeane is unique. What about Janeane and Gollum? Janeane and Keith O?

Makes me think of Bubble and Squeak.

At the risk of upsetting Red Rooster, how about "Chicken Chokers" to throw a bone to our brave PETA cadres? After all, is there any bloodthirsty tea bagger who hasn't patronized a KFC at least once? I doubt it.

You know, there has never been a more dismissive phrase than "tree hugger."

(off)
Any one else think the term "racists" has lost its true meaning, and has simply become a catch all as a dirty label and stupid insult by the Left?

It's the postmodern version of "The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf!'" - it's called "The Jerks Who Yelled 'Racist!'"

Very nice, Opiate, very nice. Some years ago Taco Hell had the chihuahua and some Hispanic group cried "Racist!" and then I knew the word was emptied of meaning. Words do this: consider "egregious," which once meant outstanding.

It may be a bit soon to be able to state that all callers of racism are the Boy Who Cried Wolf but that doesn't mean that we cannot promote it.

I actually saw a professor at Princeton, which does, I'm told, still have credible departments in the hard sciences, claim that only the people who are affected by racism can say if it's racist or not.

In other words, she's claiming that she's the touchstone of truth. Only she can judge whether or not her feelings of being offended are valid. Her internal weather is truth.

If it weren't an obvious bullying tactic it would be psychotic. But then she's a professor at Princeton. So therefore...

You forgot supporting Tha ZioniSSt Entittttttttttty is also racist.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:
Very nice, Opiate, very nice. Some years ago Taco Hell had the chihuahua and some Hispanic group cried "Racist!" and then I knew the word was emptied of meaning. Words do this: consider "egregious," which once meant outstanding.

It may be a bit soon to be able to state that all callers of racism are the Boy Who Cried Wolf but that doesn't mean that we cannot promote it.

I actually saw a professor at Princeton, which does, I'm told, still have credible departments in the hard sciences, claim that only the people who are affected by racism can say if it's racist or not.

In other words, she's claiming that she's the touchstone of truth. Only she can judge whether or not her feelings of being offended are valid. Her internal weather is truth.

If it weren't an obvious bullying tactic it would be psychotic. But then she's a professor at Princeton. So therefore...

Post-modernism in action: from a good blog by a decidedly non-liberal psychologist
http://www.drsanity.blogspot.com/

Postmodernism deliberately eschews truth and reason and reality. It insists that our minds are not capable of even knowing reality. Under such conditions, what good is science, you may ask?

(I guess it cannot possibly work in the hard sciences for no matter how much I want in my reality for things to fall up, they won't do it unless I stand on my head permanently.)

But this leads to a question, if reality is unknowable, why must I accept racism in my reality? As one of the Mythbusters says, "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Postmodernism is definitely vulnerable here. Its own tactics could be turned against it.

(Out-of-Karakter)

Jumping into the philosophical discussion:
Personally, I still think we will never know -exactly- how reality works, and we will never reach the 100% (I'm also very cynical about psychology and its validity). However, I still think we should try to figure reality out (i.e. science) because we were able to go this far, why stop now? However, what's annoying is those who act like science is an axiom. I bet you know those Angry Atheist who will call you a mass-murder if you say "I believe in God". I don't know much about postmodernism but this is what I could figure out.

Stalin for Time wrote:This person is obviously racist! We must find this slug's family members and torture urge them to make sure he sees the error of his ways.

I found some of his realtives, we must make sure they don't reproduce and spawn more Tea Baggers. I censored out the erotic parts so that our fellow comrades are not aroused.

Skinee Jay wrote:I bet you know those Angry Atheist who will call you a mass-murder if you say "I believe in God". I don't know much about postmodernism but this is what I could figure out.

There are atheists who don't want anything bigger than they are. They are progressives.

There are reluctant atheists, like me, who simply believe that it's the simplest of all explanations. Occam's Razor.

I'm a Texan but if I were going to live in a big city, or a medium-big one, I don't think it would be Houston or Dallas or even San Antonio, which I love, but Salt Lake City. I like Mormons. Don't get the religion at all but they're really cool people.

I was sure I wasn't a racist until I got to the wisecracks about the First Wookie's monster size butt part.

The enlightened NAACP (no official affiliation with the CP ) of Richmond has declared on the radio that anyone who does not understand why the Obama Joker poster is racist, is ALSO racist.

Comrades, it is that kind of thinking that will win the great patriotic war against the insipid tea drinking capitalists!

There is a professor of, I guess, racism, at Princeton who said that the only people who are qualified to say that there is no racism is the people who, er, who might feel as though there is racism.

Now that's brilliant. Heads she wins. Tails you lose.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Skinee Jay wrote:I bet you know those Angry Atheist who will call you a mass-murder if you say "I believe in God". I don't know much about postmodernism but this is what I could figure out.

There are atheists who don't want anything bigger than they are. They are progressives.

There are reluctant atheists, like me, who simply believe that it's the simplest of all explanations. Occam's Razor.

I'm a Texan but if I were going to live in a big city, or a medium-big one, I don't think it would be Houston or Dallas or even San Antonio, which I love, but Salt Lake City. I like Mormons. Don't get the religion at all but they're really cool people.

(Out-of-Karakter)

Count yourself out the Angry Atheists. It's not that there are no good atheists, it's just theat the most loud are those who think every religion IS MASS MURDER while Hitler'n'Stalin had no connection to God.

I still think that a lot of people who cannot stand the idea that they are not important to the world become atheists. And they're progs too. It's the same thing. It takes discipline to say, "That's none of my business and I'm not important."

Some progs, the leader progs, cannot believe that and are enraged that they are not more important. That's why so many rich people are progs. And then there are other people who are fleeing the responsibility of themselves. "Make someone else responsible, Nanny State!" is their tocsin.

A self-sufficient atheism, or a self-sufficient anything, is rare.