It is a matter of common knowledge that the path to a better future lies trough the creation of a gigantic number of progressive organizations, groups, fronts, initiatives, leagues, unions, centers, and movements. The number of existing ones is not nearly sufficient. Why? The logic is quite simple. If they were numerous enough, we would already be living in a better future, now wouldn't we?

Why aren't they proliferating at a greater pace? Indeed, we have set up a comprehensive system that guarantees every new progressive organization instant funding, publicity, and membership from the shared pool of activists. What is stopping the masses from organizing?

Having spent millions of dollars on progressive research, scientists at the People's Cube Institute have given a plausible answer to this paradox. The main reason for inadequate proliferation of progressive groups is a growing shortage of good, memorable names.

Certain clever finds, like International A.N.S.W.E.R. ( Act Now to Stop War & End Racism) and NOW (National Organization for Women), only prove that the more good names we find, the fewer remain.

This planet's resources are limited. The Zero-Sum principle discovered by Marxist science explains why the more you take, the less there is left. Thus, the more money one makes, the less there is left for others. It's universal. Take music: all possible combinations of the seven notes have already been used by the greedy dead white male composers of the past who left nothing for the future generations, women, and minorities. That is why we are listening to rap music.

The same rule applies to progressive organizations. The pool of names is simply exhausted.

Examples of poorly chosen names for otherwise great progressive initiatives

PARASITES

People Against Responsibility And Supervision In Tolerant Equitable Society

STEAL

Success Trough Expropriation And Litigation

DESTROY

Democratic Engineering of Society Through Re-education of Youth

BUST

Bringing Up Socialist Tomorrow

CACA

Center for Advancement of Communist Alternatives

PIMP

People's Initiative to Moderate Prostitution

FUCKED

Feminist Urban Center for Karmic Eradication of Dependency

CASKET

Citizen Advocates for Socialist Kidney Exchange Technology

PLAGUE

Progressive Lawyers Advocating Guaranteed Unlimited Expropriation

RETARD

Radical Educators For Tolerant Affirmation of Rationalized Degeneracy

SHIT

Socialized Healthcare Internal Taskforce

SMEAR

Socialist Media Enforcing Adequate Research


But is the fight over? Far from it! To help people's activists, researchers at the People's Cube Institute have created a brainstorming tool that will boost your creativity and hopefully result in a surge of extremely useful and vibrant organizations, groups, fronts, initiatives, leagues, unions, centers, and movements.

CLICK HERE TO NAME YOUR OWN ORGANIZATION

Unite! Organize! Represent

EXPERTS: SHORTAGE OF PROGRESSIVE ORGANIZATIONS CAUSED BY LACK OF APPROPRIATE NAMES

So few names, so little time...
(First!)

Were it not for the unfortunate acronyms, the groups below may have become more popular:

RUBES
Revolutionaries United By Envy and Self-Importance

TWITS
Trotskyite Workers Imagining Transcontinental Socialism

DOLTS
Deadheads Organized for the Legalization of THC and Smack

FRAUDS
Free-thinking Radicals for Awareness, Understanding, Diversity, and Sensitivity

Komrades, i do not know if your local information officers have given flyers out yet but some capitalist filth is trying to smear the good name of komrade hillary. They claim that she betrayed the commonwealth by smuggling filthy money in a fundraiser.

PETA

People Eating Tasty Animals

Oh.....I don't know if I really like this one considering what's for dinner in the Peoples Paradises of Democratic Korea and Vietnam. I bet they don't have any space dogs.

Unemployed Aliens For Easy Children
Utopian Lawyers For Systematic Whatever
Starving Toddlers For Systematic Apology
Unemployed Mental Patients For Socialized Sex
Angry Housewives For Equitable Civilization
Disabled Muslims For Lower Aid
Progressive Dolphins For Human Humanity
Anarchist Toddlers For Worldwide Painkillers
Anarchist Mothers For Human Sex
Socialist Mental Patients For Systematic America
Poor Hippies For Non-Violent Welfare
Drugged Bush-haters For Spontaneous Drugs
Desperate Sex Workers For Vegetarian Rainforest

A few more acronyms of groups that failed to inspire significant membership:

SORROW
Socialist Operatives Rallying for Redistribution Of Wealth

AIRHEADS
Academic Iconoclasts Representing Hedonism, Environmental Activism, Disarmament, and Sandal-wearing

MEAGER
Marxist Extremists Advocating Global Environmental Regulations

LAME
Leftists Against Militaristic Expansionism

UGLY (now Billionaires for Bush)
Urban Guerrillas Lampooning Yuppies

PRICK
Progressives Resisting Intelligence, Courtesy, and Kindness.

OK, I couldn't resist; they just keep coming to me.

EMPIRE
Empower Marginalized Peoples, Intern Rich Exploiters

VERMIN
Vegan Environmentalists Rejecting Masculinity, Imperialism, and Narrow-mindedness

LARD
League of Animal Rights' Defenders

CRANKS
Coalition of Radicals for Advancing North Korean Socialism

GARGOYLE
Greens Advocating Recycling, Gardening Organically, Yoga, and Loving the Earth

PETA

People for the Edible Treatment of Animals

DIPSHITS

Democrats Inciting People to Start Hunting Intolerant Toltaritarian Scum


(I like the irony of the group name)

Okay, here's an attempt:

DOTNET
Destroyers of Tyranny with New Educational Techniques

This discussion is highly stupid and decadent. I feel like sending all of you off to Siberia. Communism is a very serious matter!!! You can not fool around with this kind of trash, comrades! So, align yourselves to the Party line or
BE DEAD!*

*Bullshitting Egalitarians Don't Expect Anybody Disagreeing.

Here's a few more:

STALE
Selfless Teamplayers Against "Little Eichmanns"

WANKERS
West-coast Altruists, Naderites, & Kleptocrats for Enforcing Redistribution and Sacrifice

WINDBAGS
World Institute of Nihilists Deconstructing Bourgeois Assumptions and Glorifying Subjectivism

A caller on Mark Levine's show suggested this:

SLUG

Senate Losers Undercutting Government

Red Square, you should be shamed. Why are you listening to such obvious propaganda from the Captialists??? I suggest you re-educate yourself!

POTEMKIN
Pacifists Opposed To Escalation and the Military's Killing of Innocent Non-combatants

IDIOTS

Illiterate Drunks and Illegals Openly Taunting Society

DAFT- Democratic Association of Fellow Travellers

Bah! Yankee imperialist contraption won't let me post under my user name!

Oh, well. Here's another:

WORM- Worldwide Organization of Republican "Mavericks"

Komrade Guest,

Did you just try to post and put your User Name in the top in the quick reply??? That is the incorrect method, for our Politbureau servers are made to authenticate you! There is a login link near the top of the forums, I suggest you log-in, and then you will have no problem posting under your Code-Name!

Komrade Koz

SCAM- Society of Comrades against Meritocracy

HERPES
Humanitarians Extending Relief to Poorly Endowed Sex-workers

FIAT
Fix It Again, Tony

BMW
Bowel Movement Wagon

YOUR MOM
Young Open-minded Under-educated Retards Making Odd Masks
???

DNC

Demoralized Nincompoops Club

HALT

Hippies Against Logical Thinking

ORIFICE.
Obama Religious Imbeciles For Instant Conservative Epithets.

SPHINCTER.
Sean Penns Hollywood Irrationals Needing Cocaine To Emote Rubbish.

POOP.
Predictable Obama Oratory Pastiche.

CREAMED.
Clinton Rape Etiquette And Masking Exposure Democrats.