The People's Cube - Political Satire

The new 'must work for money' rule, introduced by the French government, has precipitated huge street demonstrations in Paris, as student and labor leaders rise against the specter of capitalism, worried that its emphasis on hard work and personal responsibility will ruin their most cherished cultural values of government dependency. At the famed Sorbonne University, protesters vandalized cars, bus shelters, and shops, including a McDonald's restaurant. Rioters, crying "Vive la Révolution," absconded with a statue of Ronald McDonald and later beheaded it with a makeshift guillotine.

"The new jobs contract is a slap in the face to our youth," an indignant student activist told us as he filled an empty wine bottle with gasoline to make a Molotov cocktail. "Every French child grows up dreaming that the government will give him a non-demanding job that'll pay for his future spacious apartment, month-long vacations, and dinners at Maxim. Now our dreams are shattered! Who can blame us for being angry? I'd like to look that person in the eye and torch his car."

"Had the government warned us earlier, I might have tried to learn something useful in school," said another concerned Sorbonne student while smashing the headlights of a nearby Peugeot with a crowbar. "But since nobody told me that I'll need effort and skills to succeed, I fear for my job security and want to destroy McDonald's and that abomination known as Euro Disney."

His friend Jacques, wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt, recalled growing up in a state-subsidized housing project. "We all knew we wouldn't have to do anything to earn a living as adults, just like our parents didn't," he said, climbing on top of a new Citroen. "We prepared ourselves for a dream life of eating cheese, watching Jerry Lewis comedies, and protecting the status of the most civilized nation on earth. I feel cheated. How can I ever trust the French government again?"
Most French intellectuals agree that the 'work for your money' rule is an insult to French culture, claiming that the very survival of the legendary French work ethic may be at stake. "More work, personal responsibility, and efficiency are all dangerous signs of encroaching Americanization," says the head of the philosophical department of the French Academy of Sciences. "We are happy to see so many young people today in the streets, willing to defend our traditional way of life based on idleness, arrogance, and corruption."

Labor Unions maintain that the new law erodes the worker's right to attend nail salons, keep trysts with mistresses, and sit in cafes drinking coffee during work hours. "If our government and employers think they can force us to earn our pay, we'll teach them a lesson they won't forget," says UNEF leader Bruno Julliard. "First, we'll call for a national day of strikes on March 28. Then we will surrender to Belgium. The Belgians have better labor laws, and many also speak French, which makes them the next most civilized country on earth."

Economists argue that, in terms of labor productivity, a national strike in France would be indistinguishable from a regular work day. The only difference is that the workers would consume their a peritif s and cigarettes outside, so as to better enjoy the arrival of spring, and, of course, some of them would be carrying union placards.

The spirit of Trotsky lives!!!

Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.

They also have their dangerous poodle mines that start barking in French at you if you mutter anything about work ethic being good.

Kommissar Betty wrote:

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.

They also have their dangerous poodle mines that start barking in French at you if you mutter anything about work ethic being good.

Would the Mimes that could be mines be considered Suicide Mimes?

And could we strap the Mimes onto the poodles?

Former Marxist wrote:

Kommissar Betty wrote:

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Watch out for mimes, they could be mines.

They also have their dangerous poodle mines that start barking in French at you if you mutter anything about work ethic being good.

Would the Mimes that could be mines be considered Suicide Mimes?

And could we strap the Mimes onto the poodles?

do not quickly judge our froggy brothers my comrades. such things as Mime mines avec les cheins may be needed for thier struggle.

these french all throw like girls.

This is an imperialist scheme hatched by Bushler and Toady Blair (ribbit) in their joint effort of destroying French superiority. The collective should start a Wine and Cheese drive to assist our ailing comrades in their struggle against work and physical movement of any kind. I am more than certain they would do the same for us. Socialism Prevails!!!

*We momentarily interrupt the Parisian riots to observe a moment of silence in memory of one of France's most progressive political philosophers and agitators, François-Noël Babeuf.*

Long before Gramsci, before Lenin and Trotsky, even before Marx and Engels, there was a heroic French revolutionary named François-Noël Babeuf (1760 – 1796), whose contribution to egalitarian thought profoundly influenced the development of modern socialism. In fact, Marx and Engels credited him with helping to give "rise to the communist idea." High praise, indeed! But need we ever look any farther than France for greatness? Absolutely not.

The student radicals presently torching cars and ransacking fastfood restaurants in Paris are simply following in the footsteps of Babeuf and his collectivist "Conspiracy of Equals" movement. Early in the French Revolution, Babeuf essentially staged a one-man riot of his own. As an office holder in a Picardy town, he had the government buildings emptied of all "signs of ancient servitude." He then personally fed tangible emblems of oppression, such as tapestries and portraits, to a hungry bonfire of plebian righteousness. Not all combustible material went up in flames, however, as Babeuf judiciously made a provision to provide "fuel for the poor." If Babeuf were leading the riots today, we can be sure that, before destroying a McDonald's, he would dispense rations of McGriddles, Egg McMuffins, French Fries, and hot coffee to any impoverished peoples living nearby.

The Sorbonne rioters of the present are fighting for a utopian order much like the one envisioned by Babeuf. In one of his polemics, the leader of the "Conspiracy of Equals" wrote that he sought to "organize a communal regime" that would "suppress private property…require each [worker] to deposit the fruits of his labor in kind at the common store, and establish an agency for the distribution of basic necessities." But his ultimate goal was even bolder: he wanted to make society "operate in such a way that it eradicates once and for all the desire of a man to become richer, or wiser, or more powerful than others." Thus, he conceived of a new social order in which "the country takes possession of every individual at birth, and never quits him till death. It watches over his first moments, [and] secures him the nourishment and cares of his mother..."

France has made great strides toward realizing Babeuf's dream of a model society. Now, a reactionary tide of fascism is sweeping the nation, threatening to undo decades of social progress. We must stand shoulder to shoulder with our comrades in France. We must all be Babeuf!

Its stories like this that makes me happy that in G11-372137849 we at least have job security. If I couldn't spend my days digging irrigation ditches in subarctic temperatures for bread rations I don't know what would become of me.

"Anarchists for job security" ?

That's the best oximoron since "peaceful islam".

Update:

French hold massive protest amid strike

More Than 1 Million Protest French Labor Law

MAR. 28 12:22 P.M. ET Nationwide strikes disrupted airline, train and bus service, closed the Eiffel Tower and sent hundreds of thousands of protesters into the streets across France on Tuesday as unions joined in solidarity with students angered by a new labor law.

"We have to defend the rights that were won by our ancestors and which the current government is trying to take away," said Maxime Ourly, a literature student who joined tens of thousands protesting on Paris' Left Bank.

"Only in action will we convince all of the French that tomorrow can be better than today," he said, loudly heckled by opposition politicians.

"We are here for our children. We are very worried about what will happen to them," said Philippe Decrulle, an Air France flight attendant. "My son is 23, and he has no job. That is normal in France."

The strike also shut down the Eiffel Tower, according to employees at the Paris landmark.

National newspapers were not on sale at newsstands, and radio and television broadcasts were limited. About a third of public school teachers and other education workers also were on strike.

More Than 1 Million Protest French Labor Law

... and not a single one is willing to start a company and show France how to run a business the way they think it should be run.

Sacre crimsonne!

Comrade Ivan Denisovich, please contribute more revolutionary fervor to your wielding of the Communist tools in the heroic construction of ditches, for I have not enough capitalist exploitation units with which to buy, in blood money, seat on an airplane to fly to France to contribute moral support to those unlucky oppressed proletarians about to be shorn of their rights. Once you tunnel is complete, I shall, however, qalk as quickly as possible to France.

The Revolution waits for no man, but sometimes it has to do without a whole bunch of them, even those who'd like to participate, if there were something to gain by doing so.

History teaches us the importance of appreciating the lengths the French will go to in their resistance to Fascism. Even as the jackboots marched down the Avenue de l'Opéra they were blowing up tactically important bicycles and fighting tooth and nail against their invaders - sometimes even inflicting casualties on their intended targets. They were the French Resistance and they never bowed to occupation... all 3 of them.