Eminent domain expropriations are sweeping the American motherland like a red tide of Socialism raised by the increasing gravitational pool of Marxist thought. The Mayor of Piscataway, New Jersey, has recently seized the last remaining farm in the area in order to turn it into an empty space - the epitome of Socialist improvement, a.k.a. the Greater Good™.

Upon hearing that the kulaks and other greedy bourgeois property owners of New Jersey are being liquidated as a class, Lenin resurrected from his Mausoleum - again - to help the revolutionary US peasants confiscate capitalist property and redistribute the bourgeois wealth.

Step one: find the heroic Democrat Mayor of Piscataway and present him with People's Award for Expropriation and Confiscation.

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Mayor Brian C. Wahler: Lenin? I can't believe it! Just like the picture on my desk!

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Lenin: Comrade Wahler! On behalf of all the progressive, the useless, and the lazy people of the world, let me present you with this Award honoring your commitment to the cause of Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Kim Il Sung, Fidel Castro, and Che Guevara! And Hugo Chavez in Venezuela and Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe also send their warmest regards.

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Mayor Wahler: But I'm just a small-time mayor. I only expropriated the last operating farm in Piscataway that sold eggs and gave pony rides to kids. It's nothing compared to the great deeds of Stalin, Castro, and Hugo Chavez!

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Lenin: Come on comrade! Even the longest journey begins with a small step. A small step for New Jersey is a huge step for mankind.

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Mayor Wahler: I guess you're right. The people of Piscataway will no longer stay awake at night worrying about private entrepreneurship, independent farming, or capitalist speculations taking place in their town. Instead, empty space, without impure selfish motivations, will replace this historic farm.

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Mayor Wahler: And who's that guy in a cossack hat that looks like he's jumped from Battleship Potemkin? He creeps me out.

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Lenin: Oooh, that is a great hero of Forced Collectivization. In the Motherland, he packed the kulaks in box cars by the thousands and shipped them off to Siberia for refusing to give up their farms to the People's government.

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Mayor Wahler: I like that. But please translate to him that a communist uprising in Piscataway would be unnecessary because the power already is in the hands of the People's Commissars.

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Lenin: Let's cut to the chase, comrade. You made a point that property is truly collective possession and cannot be private. Then you showed that the local law is on the side of the revolution. And finally, you reminded everybody of the role of the Big Brother with guns. You made the bourgeoisie of New Jersey cower in their holes and fear the people's wrath. You are a true hero, comrade!

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Mayor Wahler: I pledge allegiance to the red flag of the revolution and the hammer and sickle for which it stands, one collective under the Party, split into victim groups, according to their needs for all!

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Lenin: I declare you Great Hero of Communist Revolution. You must kiss the prize.

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Mayor Wahler: Mom? You won't believe this. Guess who just gave me People's Award for Expropriation and Confiscation!

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Mayor Wahler: Remember, Mom, how I always told you that going to a liberal college with Marxist professors would pay back?

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Lenin: Unwashed masses of New Jersey! Workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia - I bring you Comrade Mayor!

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Lenin: Comrade Wahler will also make everyone in Piscataway use the metric system and will replace the oppressive English alphabet with a Cyrillic one!

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Mayor Wahler: Do you think the New York Times will write about this?

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Logan Clements: And what did you do with the uncooperative capitalist pig who owned the farm?

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Mayor Wahler: He kept the farm in the family for almost 100 years - that's long enough to be offensive by any progressive measure.

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Mayor Wahler: The swine native to the farm will be taken care of with the iron fist of revolutionary justice - and so will you, mister, if you don't back off! Give me that camera!

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Members of the Piscataway Secret Police (PSP) appear on the scene to prevent any free press violations.

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People's Policeperson: I'm going to count to twenty and you'd better be out of here.

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Policeperson explains the legal nuances and local Piscataway interpretation of eminent domain law to the media: One, two, three, four, five, six...

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Logan Clements: I'm going to stay all day at this fair! We are standing on public ground, in public place, and we are representatives of the media covering a story about a public official. In the name of a once-popular document called the Constitution with its provisions of freedom of the press and freedom of speech, please leave us alone!

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Policeperson: Wa-a-a-a! Why did you come here, you heartless capitalist pig, to ruin the celebration of the Common Good? Why don't YOU leave us alone?

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Logan Clements: I'll have to obey because you have guns.
Policeperson: Guns? Who said anything about guns?
Logan Clements: There are only two means by which men can deal with one another: guns or logic. Those who know that they cannot win by means of logic, have always resorted to guns.

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At that point Lenin, bored and feeling like going home to eat a caviar sandwich, employed the third means of dealing with people: his famous mind-controlling Beam of the People

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Policeperson and Mayor Wahler: We're sorry, Mr. Clements. We don't know what's gotten into us...

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Afraid of Great Lenin, Piscataway police force panicked and scurried away.

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Policeperson: Stop! Don't leave me behind, I'm scared too!

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And in the end everybody danced the People's dance "Kalinka" to the merry accompaniment of the Marching Harmonica Army.

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Long live Communist Revolution in Piscataway, New Jersey!

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WHAT?

People's Award for Expropriation and Confiscation (by anonymous proletarian artist)

WHY?

Mayor Brian C. Wahler confiscated the last farm in Piscataway that, according to the NJ Star Ledger, "features egg sales, horse and pony rides, a horseback riding academy, horse boarding and grazing and hay rides." With a little help from our friend Eminent Domain, the Democrat-monopolized city council, and NJ courts, Comrade Mayor pushed ahead with his plans for a Socialist utopia in New Jersey - a big empty space in its place.

WHO?

Lenin: the deity of earth, toil, and light bulbs, the giver of beets, vodka, and happiness. A principal deity of the Soviet People who worshiped his mummy while believing he was still alive. Lenin's birthday is an important Marxist festival, also known as Sacrificial Earth Shoveling, or simply Earth Day. (The People's Glossary™)

Visit Lenin's own blog! Russian Mushroom

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Logan Clements is an operative of free starmedia.com (watch this video), a subversive organization focused on shining a light on the successes of collectivization in America as implemented by our comrades like Mayor Wahler. Mr Clements, funded exclusively by a joint venture of Halliburton and the NSA, is obviously wishing to be a martyr on the altar of the Revolution, something the Party's hands are itching to employ more rapidly. A taskforce within the Party (once known as Communists For Kerry) has initiated proceedings to get the Cube rolling towards Mr Clements' door

HOW?

An alternate narration of this episode by Logan Clements (FoxNews style)

RUNNING FROM POLICE WITH OUR TAPES...

Logan Darrow Clements here, reporting from an undisclosed location on the East Coast: The adrenaline is still pumping through my veins. Today, my camera crew and I attended a street fair in Piscataway, New Jersey. Our purpose was to ask Mayor Brian C. Wahler why he is using eminent domain to take away a family farm from its rightful owners - the Halpers.

We found Mayor Wahler and started questioning him. He walked away. We followed him and kept questioning him. Within a few moments police officers confronted us. The mayor kept walking away and I kept asking him questions. He stopped again and I asked him once more why he was taking the Halper's farm. Wahler's answer was that the farm was being taken for "open spaces". When I indicated that a farm is already an open space he walked off again.

Now a large group of police officers surrounded my two cameramen and myself. The police formed a circle around us and demanded our identification papers. We refused. One of the officers grabbed my arm as if to take me away. Other officers did their best to block the cameras.

Someone at the street fair turned up the music to try to ruin our audio. (The song lyrics, by some amazing coincidence were, "It's getting hot, hot, hot.")

Now the police tried to separate me from the camera men. I guess their plan was divide and conquer. By now we were surrounded by an even larger swarm of police officers that were demanding our identification papers while at the same time demanding that we leave.

I made reference to a once-popular document called the Constitution with its provisions of freedom of the press and freedom of speech. This was of little interest to the police officers surrounding us. "I'm going to count to twenty and you'd better be out of here" said one officer. I responded, "I'm going to stay all day at this fair! We are standing on public ground, in public place, and we are representatives of the media covering a story about a public official. Leave us alone!" (or something to that effect, you'll see it in the movie)

The police officers were getting more and more aggressive. Then they switched their tactics. They were determined to detain us! All this time they kept demanding our identification papers. Now I realized we had to get out of there. We had cameras - they had guns.

Given the behavior of this mob of police officers it wouldn't surprise me if threw us in jail, took our cameras, or worse yet - got the tapes. Through careful discussion on my part, and confusion on their part, I negotiated our release.

We walked at a brisk pace out of the fair. Once we got behind some trees and out of sight of the police we ran to our cars. I knew they would try to get the tapes. One cameraman and I jumped in the car. The other cameraman got to his car. Sure enough an officer started running toward our cars. We put the car in gear and peeled out of the parking lot.

As we pulled onto the street another police officer ran towards us as if to block our escape. We made it past him. As I looked back in my rear view mirror I could see the officer standing in the middle of the road writing down my license plate number. But that didn't matter - got the tapes out!

I'm scheduled to appear on FoxNews Channel's Hannity and Colmes program this Monday 5/15. On the show I plan to play short clips of my movie-in-progress. The day before we were in South Bound Brook, New Jersey and caught the police on video right at the moment that they evicted a man from his house and changed the locks. His house will be demolished for a shopping center. Even if you don't have cable TV you can always watch Hannity & Colmes on their website However, I might get bumped off the Monday schedule by other stories.


Logan Darrow Clements of Freestar Media wants to build the Lost Liberty Hotel on the property of Supreme court Judge David Souter, one of five "liberal" Judges who voted for the new eminent domain law allowing a private company to take your private property (land) under the auspices of community improvement.

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USEFUL TRIVIA

Property

Collective possession. Cannot be private. The false concept of private property is a Big Lie. No one has the moral right to claim ownership to the world's limited resources that belong to everybody.

Progress

Movement towards The Greater Good™. Anything that destabilizes, defiles, sabotages, weakens, disrupts, impairs, or in any way undermines American capitalism, is progress.

Redistribution of Wealth

Act of returning world's resources to rightful owners, the People. Must be performed regardless of one's input in order better to erase the false concept of private property. It is constantly under attack by the right-wing ideologues for threatening capitalism's vile celebration of self-interest and individualism. A model of a world-wide wealth redistribution system is being successfully implemented by the United Nations. Equitable society of the future will have no redistribution of wealth because there will be nothing to distribute. The government, the People's only employer, will have a simple distribution system that will reward obedience and punish dissent.

Marxism

Revolutionary theory according to which the more money one makes the less there is left for others (see Zero-Sum). The most important implication of Marxism is that it gives us a moral right to seize other people's property. Although people have always intuitively longed to liberate public property from private pockets (see Spontaneous Marxism), Karl Marx has provided a moral and philosophical foundation for such urges. Another important scientific discovery that Marx made was that our right to other people's property can be institutionalized through revolution, followed by a dictatorship of the proletariat, i.e., the rule of political commissars unrestrained by bourgeois morals.

Idealistic Activist

Any progressive who takes the Collectivist, Marxist message to any public forum. Commonly referred to as Peace Activist, Environmental Activist or Important Intellectual of our Time. Never to be confused with: Hateful Violent Reactionary Mob

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Special thanks to Kommander Djin for photographs and other materials

Kommander Djin
Courageous
Bureaucratic
Official
Headquarters Kommander of the Party's Counterintelligence Units

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Ohhh! Lenin is so nice and cute... Is he a movie star or something? I don't remember seeing him on TV.

There are only two means by which men can deal with one another: guns or logic. Those who know that they cannot win by means of logic, have always resorted to guns.

That is incorrect, just look at the toiling masses of San Francisco. They live in a state of total denial, and they banned gun ownership! They can defy logic and not resort to guns, but usually political debates with them end up in name-calling, crying, pant crapping, and more.

Fat kulachka is tantsovaying ochen kharoshly, but she needs to stopping it.

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In reality she was blocking the camera - but we decided to go for the "artistic truth" which is ALWAYS superior to the "facts."

-- Red Square

Comrades!

This "Dancing Bear" is actually the proud example of Soviet Genetic Engineering!
She is a cross DNA specimen of Bella Abzug and Helen Thomas! Ha! Look closely...two eggs and no sperm. Try and comprehend!

Laika

Comrades! I applaud this victory over liberty, but I am disappointed by your publication of the "alternate" story. It is the job of the People's media to suppress opposing viewpoints and only display the Truth! I believe that the Party may be getting soft.

Certainly this is a wonderful little "baby step" in the correct direction. I would like to see more aggressive reappropriation of the Government's property, however. For example, with gas prices soaring, now is the time to push for Nationalization of the oil industry. Our Comrades in Venezuela have Nationalized, and now give free oil to the poor, rice cookers to the indigent, and provide jobs to thousands. Do not listen to the criminals who claim operational costs have increased by 76 percent. Why are we not Nationalizing and setting up a central ministry of oil production? I would gladly serve on the reappropriations committee in addition to my work at the Global Front for Healthcare. So, good work Comrade Wahler, but realize your efforts are puny!

All thats left is to aquire union labor to do any demolition work required on the farm, and to create trails for Piscataway's newest "open space". This is all very exciting........Wait just a moment here! My brain has just engaged. You mean their could have been 100 homes, a shopping mall or something that would require HUNDREDS of laborers, union contracts aplenty, kickbacks and the like? F the open spaces B.S. Me and the crew are going to have to pay the good Mayor a visit. Crappy plans like this happen because people try to sidestep the Boss. Not in Jersey, comrades, not in Jersey.

Union Boss wrote:"Wait just a moment here! My brain has just engaged. You mean their could have been 100 homes, a shopping mall or something that would require HUNDREDS of laborers, union contracts aplenty, kickbacks and the like? F the open spaces B.S." .

NOOOOOOO!!!!! Comrade what are you thinking??!?! SHOPPING MALLS and HOMES, have you gone republican?! No, the open space must be converted into a CRICKET REFUGE. We must preserve the ecosystem and ensure that our cricket comrades live just as good as the human comrades of Piscataway. You and your "crew" will earn a decent living wage in the building of the cricket refuge. My estimates so far have each cricket house (roughly the size of a matchbox) is at 200,000$ a piece,so there is plenty of money and graff to go around while serving to preserve "nature".

Serving all of Lenins creatures,
Chairman Meow.

No. Chairman Meow what are you thinking? The revolution has no need of cricket refuge. Liberals want things like cricket refuge. We are not weak liberals.
We will redistribute the land. The good peasants of Piscataway will be presented with titles to this land. The land goes from the rich to the poor. Then we will tell the peasants exactly what they will grow on their land and they will sell what they grow only to the revolutionary government. If they don't comply they will be charged with crimes against the state.
The rich have enslaved us too long.
Only the revolution can free the peasants from bondage.

I say we get advice from Zimbabwe. Mr. Mugabe has done a fine job with land reformation, and his progressive ideas are worthy of implementation here. I suggest we parse the land for farming by crack addicts to give them a chance at gainful employment.

Why not a re-education resort/camp for young and old alike? Spacious 5x8, reinforced concrete rooms surrounded by piles of rocks that need busting to help keep the 'guests' busy when their minds begin to fill with thought crimes such as private retirement accounts, private land ownership and individual achievement. Just a thought.

Comrade Otis I am ashamed and appalled to be called a "liberal" and have soiled myself because of it. My feelings are hurt and so are the countless numbers of crickets who suffer and toil everyday. One cricket who we shall call Gertrude sometimes has to choose between groceries and her prescription medication. Gertrude suffers from a number of ailments and sometimes cannot cope with the day to day struggle that is being a cricket. What about her Comrade Otis? Is it fair or dare I say progressive that Gertrude has to be confined to deplorable living conditions when she could live in a 200,000$ matchbox condo and have her own address which will allow her to take full advantage of the many social programs the Party offers? I think it's not fair, I think it's cruel and intolerable to deny the smallest and kindest creatures that simply cannot compete in a world dominated by larger insects... Comrade, I believe in my bleeding heart that if the Party allows our cricket brethren to live within the watchful eyes of the state they can aide us this November. What would scare the white Chr****** males out of voting more then a swarm of rabid cricket pestilence armed with the benevolent teachings of Marx and Lenin? Perhaps a compromise can be reached Comrade Otis, how about each cricket gets at least 4 acres of land (fairly re-distributed of course) and each human comrade of Piscataway will receive 1 acre of land for a ditch to live in and a space to grow food for the collective... How does that sound? What's left could be used for a re-education camp with plenty of rocks as the Union Boss suggested. Let us not squabble, let us both find the greater good for both the comrades of Piscataway and our cricket counterparts...

For the Glory of Corzine,
Chairman Meow-Say-Pun

Chairman Meow I think we've been trumped. If the Party has decided to use this land for The Dachas at Potemkin Village then that is that. Oh well, such is life. Let's not squabble. There is plenty of land for us to liberate.

Friends, as a lover of New Jersey and a former Governor, I suggest we not miss an opportunity here.

We all love the Garden State, and we want to encourage tourism. Nothing can be more damaging to a tourist than not being able to find a good rest stop.

I suggest we create a rest stop on the vacant land worthy of our fine state. The stop would consist of a poorly-lit grassy area as well as a large dimly lit building, which would serve as the comfort area. There would be multiple rooms within the building with locking doors and mattresses on the floor. It would be frugal yet cozy. Of course, there would also be bathroom stalls and vending machines for snacks, sodas and condoms. I would also propose that the rest stop be a "privileged site," where tourists are free from harassment by local authorities. Nothing can be more aggravating to a tourist than nosy officers asking questions like, "why are you here," or "is there a reason you two don't have any pants on?"

I predict that in ten years Piscataway is going to have a shopping mall on that site. I further predict they'll call it Halper Farm Mall.

A gated village!! Wow, that is wonderful. I entrust the gated village will be state of the art with the finest concrete walls and top notch wall guards to ensure that no one escap... err I mean breaks in. To France with the crickets, how many color TV's and Amerikan dollars is it going to take for me to bribe my way into such an exclusive retreat?


No bribes necessary Comrade Chairman! Your years of total party dedication has entitled you to the "Chairman's Suite" at The Dachas at Potemkin Village TM. Of course the "Premier's Suite" is reserved for Premier Betty but both suites are the very model of proletarian comfort. Cold running water! A new rice cooker imported from Cuba! A privacy curtain when you need that special time alone. (You'll be "time sharing" with 12 other socialists) Extra tinfoil for your black & white TV antenna. Electricity until 7PM every day except Saturday when it stays on until 8PM! Disinfectant for the newly dug latrine! And best of all, fresh bedding straw every month! It kinda makes you tingly all over, doesn't it?
We'll hold your reservation!

Laika

Oh thank you Comrade Laika, thank you! Wow, that is just great, just like what the Party Chairmen in North Korea get for serving the Party blindly. Oh happy days! Praise Her Excellency for all the gifts she gives to Her slaves! -- Meow

Eric wrote:Comrades! I applaud this victory over liberty, but I am disappointed by your publication of the "alternate" story. It is the job of the People's media to suppress opposing viewpoints and only display the Truth! I believe that the Party may be getting soft.

I must have missed that before publication...I shall resign from my current post (only to go somewhere else, but you don't know that...if you do, you commit a thought crime, and I can get rid of you...)

V. Ivanov

Sounds more like a re-education camp to me. (as I suggested) I have never been in a re-education camp as of yet, so perhaps the cold running water, curtains, montly bedding exchange, TV, ect ect wouldn't be found in the less desirable re-education facilities. Being the great socialist I am, and caring about the less fortunate as I should, I hereby give up any slot to The Village that may be reserved in my name so that others may experience this 'luxury'. Now, if The Village needs employees to crack some skulls, I may be available. I am also pretty skilled at psycotherapy via a 'head vice'.

UB
Jersey

EDIT: I was in Piscataway today. (06/01) Would have liked to meet the Good Mayor, but was was on important mission and too busy to hunt him down. Figured I would see him skipping around some maypole and was hoping to give him some advice too. The place could use ALOT more open spaces. Like, everything within city limits type open spaces. They need to condemn the whole damn town. What a craphole. Sticking a fountain in a poop riddled pond is like trying to polish a turd.
I did land a fantastic deal on a few extra strength pallets though down on Prospect St.

Remember the good old days when Kulaks were liquidated by the People's Army without restitution? Piscataway should be a sister city with Harare, Zimbabwe and have a teach in on show trials for farmers.

Hi,
I watch each and every photos.The police officers were getting more and more aggressive. Then they switched their tactics. They were determined to detain us! All this time they kept demanding our identification papers.
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johni