The People's Cube - Political Satire

We have been asked by Howard Dean to develop some new catch phrases for our party and could use some help. Please add to this list:

• If it ain't easy, it ain't workin'!

• Why is everyone else so stupid?

• We have all the easy answers - just ask us!

• Blame Bush!

• Why sacrifice thousands of soldiers today, when you can sacrifice millions tomorrow?
  
• Less money for the military = a chicken in every pot!

• Islamists don't cause war stupid, our military does!

• Those who question our patriotism are unpatriotic chickenhawk racist flag-loving fascists!

• Ask not what your country can do, ask only what your country can not!

• Okinawa here we come!

• Less money for the rich = prosperity for the poor!

• Fewer rich people = fewer poor people!

• Wealthy Democrats are your friends!

• Wealthy Republicans are your enemies!

• Why hate faceless terrorists when you can hate George Bush instead?

• The War is Bush's fault, not ours!

• Terrorists? What terrorists? You mean Bush?

• Don't behead us, we love you!

• Our solution: deploy 'Care Bears' to Middle East!

TOLERANCE FOR ALL! EXCEPT THOSE NOT IN STEP WITH THE PARTY'S MANDATES.

Charting the course for strategic surrender!

What Would Bonnie Fwank Do?


We will let the PATRIOT ACT die a slow bloody death on the house floor!

Working to Make America Part of the Third World.

New Taxes: It's What's for Dinner.

Mainstreaming San Francisco Values.

Tofu in Every Kitchen, A Hybrid in Every Garage.

Need Advice: Dail 1-800-Ask The UN

What has Bush done for you lately? NOTHING! (except for record low unemployment, growing economy, and al-Qaeda on the run)

And may I suggest a revision of John F. Kennedy's statement: "Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country can do for you." Kennedy's version sounds too *shudder* REPUBLIKKKAN!

We think, so you don't have to.

Because you're too stupid.

Welcome to Hell, at least for you.

Out of Iraq now! Let the religous clensing begin!

You're not smart enough to know what's best for you.

9 out of 10 terrorists agree; we know what's best for the People's Republic of North America!

Terrorists? What terrorists? You mean Bush?

<-- Personal favorite. Stolen for blog.

And Premier Betty, Hell is a creation of the Christian facists to make people feel guilty! Reject it!

Republicans have a Culture of Corruption, while we keep cash in our freezer to keep it fresh!

A tougher, smarter, surrender in Iraq.

Speaks Truth to Chimps wrote:A tougher, smarter, surrender in Iraq.

You forgot "faster."

I guess with John K***y rehabilitated and back on track again, we can also rehabilitate his earlier statements about "a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive" surrender in Iraq.

https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=117

I had forgotten that K***y had said that.

The Democrats. For a more sensitive, caring, war on terror.

The Democrats. We won't shoot back until the French give us permission.

The Democrats. At least 1 of us doesn't think the troops are retards. Oh wait, he's now an Independent.

Jihad! Can't we just hug it out?

Now the Party's Iraqin', we're cuttin' and walkin'.

NPRCBSNBCCNNMSNBCABCNYT: We report--and decide.

Smart Gun control... Take away the guns from the US Republican terrorists and give them to communists and jihadists around the world!!

And Premier Betty, Hell is a creation of the Christian facists to make people feel guilty! Reject it!

It's a metaphor for those foolish enough to actually follow "moral principles".

Stop gun violence? Take away all the guns. It's that simple.

Stop poverty; enact a $50 per hour minimum wage. It's that simple.

Withdraw from Iraq. Let Allah sort it out.

The Democrats. We're going to pass a law against crime!

The Democrats. We understand why you Muslim Freedom Fighters hated us on 9/11. We promise not to make you hate us any more.

Democrats! Surrender through superior flower power!

Illegalize straight marriage now! Support the Democrat Party!

Tax free speech now! Support your local Democrat Party!

Abortion starts a bleeding heart! Pro-Democrat, Pro-choice!

My president is Kim Gandy!

What Can Your Country Do For You? Bread and Circuses!

Equality Of Outcome For All!

I've been reconsidering my vocabulary lately. I know it's wrong for anyone to have more money than anyone else, however they earned it. Is it not also wrong for me to have a larger vocabulary than my comrades? Equality of outcome is more important than freedom or equality of opportunity. Since they cannot easily acquire a large vocabulary, I should give up some of mine. (I'll start by renouncing "sesquipedalian.") I suppose the same argument applies to the capacity for rational thought..... I'll have to analyze that..... Or not......

Help! I need a member of the Party leadership to tell me what's good for me. They know better than I do.

Comrade Squealer wrote: I've been reconsidering my vocabulary lately. I know it's wrong for anyone to have more money than anyone else, however they earned it. Is it not also wrong for me to have a larger vocabulary than my comrades? Equality of outcome is more important than freedom or equality of opportunity. Since they cannot easily acquire a large vocabulary, I should give up some of mine. (I'll start by renouncing "sesquipedalian.")

Do not fret, Comrade Squealer. As you know, those of us who do the "brainwork" of the Revolution are entitled to certain privileges, one of which is being able to pontificate with supercilious prolixity.

All words are equal, but some are more equal than others.

But if you still feel compelled to renounce a portion of your vocabulary for Lenin, you can report to a Karl Marx Treatment Center near you for a partial Lexipurge™. Afterwards, you won't even know that you once were a sesquipedalian.

Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote:
Do not fret, Comrade Squealer. As you know, those of us who do the "brainwork" of the Revolution are entitled to certain privileges, one of which is being able to pontificate with supercilious prolixity.

All words are equal, but some are more equal than others.

But if you still feel compelled to renounce a portion of your vocabulary for Lenin, you can report to a Karl Marx Treatment Center near you for a partial Lexipurge™. Afterwards, you won't even know that you once were a sesquipedalian.

A pensive rumination on your sentiments assuages what passes for my conscience, Dr. Palimpsest. I'll not let such bourgeois artifacts cloud my judgement again. And while a brain cleansing certainly assists some in their struggles for the advancement of global Marxism, I believe I must maintain my Party fervor and usefullness via a careful consideration of my physical equilibrium as exemplified by our glorious Leaders. Limousines, delicate comestibles, and gentle accouterments should do the trick.......all for the good of the People, of course.

Comrade Squealer wrote:Limousines, delicate comestibles, and gentle accouterments should do the trick.......all for the good of the People, of course.

Of course. It's always about the good of the People. Pardon me for one second, comrade, I've got to take this call.

"Hello, my Peach. Yes, I've reserved us a table at The Sapphire Muse this evening. That's the one. Yes, Toohey gave it rave reviews. I requested a cozy little spot near the fireplace. Should be spiffy. Oh, did that student of mine, what's his name--Ron, or Rick, or something like that--drop off my dry cleaning? What? That pathetic slacker! That's a full letter grade reduction. Anywho, gotta run. Ta."

Now, where were we?

How the hell did you get reservations at The Sapphire Muse? Those bastards told me they were booked! Ugh, now I'm pissed, I had to book at that dump The Purple Ivory Panda instead, 500$ a plate, and thats just the appetizer! I am a Chairman, not some toothless unwashed peon like comrade Crotch! Heads will roll for this, mark my words with a pink highlighter, heads will roll!

Well at least you didn't have to slum it at the Atonal Equinox, or some $400-an-appetizer dump that like.

No worries, good Chairman. Call "The Muse" and ask for Sven. Tell him that $.$. Halliburton referred you--wink, wink; nudge, nudge. It works everytime for me. That's why the front facade of the "The Muse" has five columns--we've got people on the inside!

Thank you Dr. P, Sven was very helpful and had some elderly couples reservations canceled, I think their last name was Windsor or something, it was European whatever it was. I am just relieved, never ever again will I have to sit in V.I.P section and feel like a schmuck with a meager 500$ appetizer, never again! Whew, what would we do without Cha-Ching? What would we do?

Would one of those five columns (pillars) have something to do with faith or charity? HA!

Livin it up in my liberal limousine,

--Meowsevich

DEMOCRATS! Because It Just Doesn't Get Any Better Than This!

With Meritocracy For None, With Mediocrity For All

If You Like Our Department of Motor Vehicles, You'll Love Our Department of Health Care!

Reid, Pelosi, Murtha, Mollohan... Honesty, Shmonesty! What, you really believed that bit about the REPUBLICANS being the party of the "culture of corruption"?! Suckah! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! To the victor goes the spoils, baby. Get used to it!

Fighting to earn Europe's respect!

Reshaping the Constitution for a NEW America!

Because impeaching Clinton wasn't fair!

Gun control! Cold dead fingers? Works for us!

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Thank you Dr. P, Sven was very helpful and had some elderly couples reservations canceled, I think their last name was Windsor or something, it was European whatever it was. I am just relieved, never ever again will I have to sit in V.I.P section and feel like a schmuck with a meager 500$ appetizer, never again! Whew, what would we do without Cha-Ching? What would we do?

Would one of those five columns (pillars) have something to do with faith or charity? HA!

Livin it up in my liberal limousine,

--Meowsevich

Excellent. Glad Sven could accomodate you.

Listen, Comrade Chairman, you're obviously a man with a discriminating palate. I need some advice. I'm taking one of my grad students, who is well on her way to earning a solid "A" if you know what I mean, out to dinner tomorrow night. I'm having difficulty deciding whether I should take her to The Velvet Pompion or Thirty Five Cordova. What do you think? The Pompion is fairly posh and I don't want her to get the wrong impression. That is to say, I don't want her to think she's anything special - I mean in a few weeks she'll be last semester's news and I'll be on to the next East Coast brunette in stylish, knee-high Pravda, I mean Prada boots. Then again, Thirty Five Cordova might be too trendy, although it has a wonderful atmosphere and live jazz. Plus, I was there just a few nights ago. What to do...

Sven was fabulous Doctor P, just fabulous!

But to solve your problem, take her to The Velvet Pompion, trust me, nothing says "you don't mean nothing to me" when you have the help there passing out condoms and warming jelly in one of many exclusive V.I.P rooms. Yes, the food comes in small portions and is extremely over priced, but isn't that why we got in the business of advocating wealth re-distribution in the first place? HA! Oh, don't forget their very nice Thursday Poetry & Orgy Extravaganza! Personally, I was thinking about taking some lobbyist skank I met through Jack Murth.. err I mean through a mutual friend to The Velvet Pompion, a few drinks should loosen up all that lovely $oft Ca$h right into my campaign coffers (or pockets for that matter). But yes, definetly The Velvet Pompion, let the brunnete Eastern Estab. whore TAKE YOU out for a night of live a jazz and cocktails, but for that not so special one night shag, The Velvet Pompion is the way to go. See you there with the video camera and sleazy world-music!

Expecting my check for the endorsement, and a book deal! (Cha-Ching, wherever you are?),

Meowsevich S. Punchenko

It's ok to drink the bong water. We've been doing it for 40 years, and see? We're just fine.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:But to solve your problem, take her to The Velvet Pompion, trust me, nothing says "you don't mean nothing to me" when you have the help there passing out condoms and warming jelly in one of many exclusive V.I.P rooms...Personally, I was thinking about taking some lobbyist skank I met through Jack Murth.. err I mean through a mutual friend to The Velvet Pompion, a few drinks should loosen up all that lovely $oft Ca$h right into my campaign coffers (or pockets for that matter)...[F]or that not so special one night shag, The Velvet Pompion is the way to go. See you there with the video camera and sleazy world-music!

Sage advice, my friend, Punchenko; sage advice. I have booked at The Velvet Pompion for this evening. I'm sure I'll see you there. After dinner, you and your lobbyist doll are invited back to my humble abode for a little soiree. Just a few senior Party members, some activist celebs, and a few revisionist historians - nothing too crazy. We'll drink some Chateau Babeuf bubbly while marinating in the imported mineral waters that fill my Olympic-sized hot tub. I've "pimped it out," as the kids these day say, by having a huge red star tiled into the bottom. Oh, and don't forget the video camera!

The tree of sexual liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of babies and young women.
- Comrade Jefferson