The People's Cube - Political Satire

Long-time PBS anchor Jim Lehrer was arrested today after being named as the person responsible for an inflammatory broadcast which has incited verbal violence and unrest throughout the United States and Europe.

The broadcast, which appeared unexpectedly over many US television stations last Wednesday night, superficially seems to be a debate between US president Barack Obama and an unnamed other person, possibly the president's debate coach John Kerry. However, the incendiary and invidious intent of the presentation soon makes itself obvious.

Mr. Lehrer, who appears in the role of moderator, continually allows the opponent to berate and insult the president by citing the latter's record as chief executive, as well as quoting his words directly. Mr. Lehrer also repeatedly fails to stop the opponent from going over his allotted 30% of speaking time. At one point, Mr. Lehrer verbally assaults the president, telling him "you're way over the two minutes."

The telecast, while likely a satire or practical joke of some sort, upset and enraged many important elite viewers both in the US and abroad. According to Reuters, demonstrations characterized by consternation and uneasiness broke out in many European capitals:

President Barack Obama's lackluster performance in the first U.S. election debate provoked uneasiness in European capitals on Thursday, where hopes are mostly, if unofficially, pinned on his securing a second term.

In Europe, where leaders and finance officials have worked closely with the Obama administration over the past 2-1/2 years trying to resolve the euro area debt crisis, there was particular consternation at Romney's singling out of deficit-ridden Spain as a poorly administered economy.

"Romney is making analogies that aren't based on reality," Foreign Affairs Minister Jose Manuel Garcia-Margallo told reporters after a meeting of his centre-right party.

Back in the states, special police debate teams are on call in many cities after former New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller gave Lehrer's performance a D grade and called him "road kill" in his Twitter analysis of the debate. Officials believe that the potential for rhetorical mayhem is high after liberal NYU journalism professor and media critic Jay Rosen also called out Lehrer on Twitter, saying, "Romney took strong advantage of a weak moderator."

Authorities, seizing on the precedent established in the arrest of Nakoula Basseley Nakoula last month for making the anti-Islam film, which incited violence in many normally peaceful foreign capitals, have attributed blame to Mr. Lehrer for the disruptions his unauthorized broadcast have caused.

Constitutional scholars in New York's Metropolitan Transportation Authority noted that if something someone says causes crime - such as vandalism and denunciation of important politicians like MTA executives - then the best way to deal with it is to eliminate the root cause: the speech that caused it. "We have more important things to do than chase down every petty crime that happens in our jurisdiction," said one city official. "Say bud, how many ounces is that soda you're drinking?"

Citing the well-known "fighting words" exception to the First Amendment, Obama Administration figures claim the arrest of Mr. Lehrer is entirely justified because "his performance makes us want to fight!"

Officials at the Department of Justice are sure the Supreme Court will uphold Mr. Lehrer's conviction at his upcoming show trial as "the four smart justices are all for it - and Roberts will be too, once he's told he won't be invited to any more dinner parties if he votes against it."

Mr. Lehrer is being held incommunicado at an undisclosed location for "his own safety," as one official put it. Requests for legal counsel have so far been denied. "A lot of this Bill of Rights stuff just gets in the government's way of solving problems," said a New York Times editorial. "That's why the Chinese model is superior to ours."

Comrade Opiate, How is it possible for Tea Party infiltrators to make it the very top like this? Surely when the stakes are so high nobody is above reproach?? Why wasn't Lerher thoroughly strong-armed Chicago style vetted before the debates began? Such a lapse in our security is unthinkable, why it would be like having one of our own ambassadors killed in a foreign consulate. Lerher's inability to protect our president has even caused a spinning sound to be heard coming from The People's Newsman Walter Cronkite's mausoleum!!

Surely Komrade Axelrod pronounced a fatwa against the bourgeois fool for his heresy.

Surely the insulting of our komrades in Europe who are in the process of revolutionizing their economies to suit the people's needs cannot be tolerated. We need bodies.

I missed the glorious invitation to my neighborhood Demokrat Kollektiv Debate Viewing Party, but I heard that there was no shortage of self-criticism among the komrades for failing to thwart the efforts of the plan-wrecker Lehrer (a German name. hmm...)

Comrade Robot, former Comrade Lerher is like many of his generation, a prisoner of the tired old way of doing things. Factual truth, while theoretically admirable, in practice only confuses the masses and makes it impossible to advance the Common Good. Revolutionary truth enables progress! Mr. Lerher and his ilk were once regarded as patriots but we cannot let nostalgia deter us from doing what we must to advance the people's will. Not if we want to stay out of the gulag, anyway.

Hey Comrade CDC, is that the swineheard that ate its human owner the other day, by any chance???

Comrades, I do hope that no one has allowed FLATUS to see those pigs...

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote: Comrades, I do hope that no one has allowed FLATUS to see those pigs...

I hope those pigs don't see FHOTUS's rear end lest they mistake it for a nursing sow.

Of all the Laika headlines, "Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed." beats them all. That genially sums up the Muslim mind.

One question for everybody. When voting by mail, do we have to write our name over the envelope? Sure we do have to sigh in the rectangle, but do we have to write our name somewhere?

One catchline that I am using around a lot by this time is "Obama is yet another Ivy League asshole."

I was campaigning for Romney at University of Central Florida, and a friend said to me "I want to see you become president of the US."

I jokingly answered "Well, we can do that. I will have to falsify my birth certificate. I still have the PhD in Cryptography. And I still remember very well the "paperwork" that I had to do in order to enter Italy illegally."

Same friend once said to me "you are a genius." I answered "I am not a genius, otherwise I would not hang around with silly guys like you. But you can call me that. That's how liberals must look up to conservatives."

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HE SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE KONTROL over this "Debate!" Letting the Kapitalist Romney insult and defame Our Glorious Leader time and time and time again? PATHETIK! He was playing in to the Kapitalists' hands! HE SHOULD BE TORTURED! SEND HIM TO THE GULAG! THIS TRAITOR LEHRER WAS OBVIOUSLY INKOMPETENT!!! Komrade Obama only wants what is best, and his "loss" at this "debate" was bekause of his utter surprise at the Traitor Lehrer's exkuse for his job at moderating! EVEN OUR GLORIOUS LEADER HAD TO TELL HIM TO SWITCH TOPIKS!!! Komrade Obama will teach this Romney a lesson next time! Our Great One Kannot be defeated! THIS WAS LEHRER'S FAULT!!! AS SUCH, HIS PENALTY WILL BE SEVERE AND DEAR!!! ON TO VIKTORY, O GREAT LEADER OBAMA!!!

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It was actually nice, for once, to see Mr. Lehrer get his handed to him, and even more gratifying to hear Mr. Obama do naught but sputter, blubber, and mumble, as well as grimace and smirk. The next debates will be entirely interesting to listen to...

Jim Lehrer: Know Your Place, Shut Your Face!

https://predicthistunpredictpast.blogsp ... ay_10.html

I was just lying here, attempting to stifle this hacking cough and feeling depressed and pissed off about being sick and the state of the NHL, when through the Northern Bunker's window came an errant baseball which smacked me upside the head! I know it's not down to the Blue Jays, cause they suck almost as badly as the Maple Leafs, and I'm pretty sure it's real and not part of my feverish delirium, since it kinda hurt and is now sitting my lap... So home run, Comrade!... home run!

Sis

P.S. I'm keeping the ball! Huzzah!

... Prog still off... at least until I'm well enough to write something articulate.

Hey, SMO, keep that ball in your lap as long as you wish! Yeah! And, take your sweet time getting back to us!

John Frum! Is there anyone more enthusiastic than you? I don't think so. I used to wear that crown, according to some comrades, but now you take the cake! I gladly concede this honor to you. (I recommend cornbread cupcakes.)