The People's Cube - Political Satire

Reuters (a thinking man's al-Jazeera) wrote:BOSTON, May 17 (Reuters) - U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy, a leading Democrat and patriarch of a prominent U.S. political dynasty, suffered a seizure on Saturday but hours later was talking with family at his side in a Boston hospital.

The time is nearing when Teddy will finally be held accountable for what the Massachusetts electorate has ignored.

This, of course, is a sequel to the earlier Absolut Vodka ad:

Dike Bridge Valor: in an Absolut world of Ted Kennedy

Remembering our heroes:

What on earth is he wearing?

Ode to, er uh, whoever...
(to the tune of Black Water, apologies to Doobie Brothers)

My Buick has sunken
down in the black water,
Mary Jo Kopechne, she's callin' my name.
My heart's a thumpin, that swimmin' was somethin',
that gal was a fun one,
well that's just a shame.

Hey black water, keep on rollin',
Massachusetts moon, wontcha keep on shinin' on me.
Hey black water, keep on rollin',
Massachusetts moon, wontcha keep on shinin' on me.
Hey black water, keep on rollin',
hide the evidence so nothin' comes back on me.

If she drowns, I don't care,
don't make no difference to me,
I got another car back at my compound.
I wanna have another shot or two
and then get all sobered up,
'cause I've been knocking back Jim Beam
all nigh-ite long.

Hey black water, keep on rollin',
Massachusetts moon, wontcha keep on shinin' on me.
Hey black water, keep on rollin',
Massachusetts moon, wontcha keep on shinin' on me.
Hey black water, keep on rollin',
Massachusetts moon, wontcha keep on shinin' on me.
Keep on shinin' your light,
gonna stagger on home, gonna make everything all right.
And I ain't got no worries, cause I ain't in no hurry to call...

========================
Thank you, Dr. Gno, for the contribution. A MIDI tune has been added to enable collective singing. The song is now also posted in the People's Karaoke section: Black Water (Ted Kennedy and Doobie Brothers)

-- Red Square

For more fun Ted Kennedy activities:

• Chappaquiddick Triangle Claims Another Victim
  <br>
• Swimming Home Alone (a pantomime)

Does any one here actually hear music? I have tried both my usual Firefox and gasp. IE, and nothing. In fact, while I can see the music player, and it acts as if it is playing, I hear nothing from the alleged Dr Gno. In the IE, I do not even see the player. However, and I must warn my comrades, when I go to the link about Ted's misfortune, I get a message saying this site is linked to a malicious source. Needless to say I chose not to proceed.

Teddy misses the Pearly Gates

Ted's Liver: "Brain, for the longest time I've been the black sheep of the family. I've worked my ass off for the collective, done the most shitty job bravely and without complaining. I've filtered some of the most unbelievable toxins from the collective, daily, despite the relentless onslaught. I have performed this task for the last 60 some-years, knowing all the while that I'd be the one to take the fall - be the object of blame for everyone outside the collective when this atrocity would finally go the way of the Warsaw Pact. Today, Brain, I've discovered that there is a God. Your sorry ass is the one taking the fall for the failure of the collective. You've been the impetus behind the most incoherent cognative processes in the history of American Legislature with a pass for these last thirty-plus years. Now you are paying the price and I'm getting off scot free. Hell yes."

Ted's Brain: "F*ck."

Commissar Pupovich wrote:Does any one here actually hear music? I have tried both my usual Firefox and gasp. IE, and nothing. In fact, while I can see the music player, and it acts as if it is playing, I hear nothing from the alleged Dr Gno. In the IE, I do not even see the player. However, and I must warn my comrades, when I go to the link about Ted's misfortune, I get a message saying this site is linked to a malicious source. Needless to say I chose not to proceed.

But I am not alleged, my confused Commissar! Has your hearing been checked lately? Come to my laboratory, I will give you doggy treats and let you have a free hearing test, my compliments!

I will give you many tests, my furry friend, and by the time you leave, you will feel different, but you will certainly feel better. Yes. Much better, Commissar. When can Hilga schedule an appointment?

You continue to defy the State by practicing without a permit?

My hearing is fine....but because of the need to protect oneself from Bushitler's henchmen, I believe my security force is preventing your creation from playing. Then again, if that is a midi, I am not sure I have anything set to play them. I have always hated them.

A midiphobe! What has midi ever done to you? We must investigate. For starters, we must make sure you listen to a certain quota of midi files every day, in a greater proportion than all other files. In fact, you won't be allowed to listen to any sounds at all until you've listened to two hundred midi songs in the morning, to compensate for your dark past steeped in prejudice and intolerance.

Equal rights for all media formats on Pup's computer! (and more equal rights to midi files!).

But...but....Comrade Cube! Midi files bring back post traumatic sensibility disorder... They remind me of an unspeakable horror I have endured. Perhaps you yourself have found yourself on some mission where to remain incognito, you had to get into an elevator in some capitalist imperialist building, where you were locked into this elevator, surrounded by class enemies, and forced to endure the sort of "music" they deaden socialist hearts with. Comrade, I have seen and heard things while trapped in these torture devices that no one should be forced to endure.

In the Progressive Satrapy of New York they've cut down on elevator music long time ago, along with street cleaning, building maintenance, and other repugnant bourgeois excesses. As a result, I've never been in an elevator that plays music. Therefore I have no sympathy for you with your imaginary trauma. Instead of complaining, you must work to bring more progress in your area so that, just like in New York, things would stop getting cleaned, powered, and maintained. You can't hear elevator music in an elevator that's out of order, can you?

Now where were we? Oh, yes. A party mandate has been issued for Pupovich to start listening to all the songs in the People's Karaoke section (all midi files). Singing along to the provided lyrics is mandatory, at the average if 90 decibel. This will supposedly help Pupovich to cure his hearing loss, overcome the trauma, and channel his bottled-up emotions into something constructive, like wrecking the capitalist infrastructure in his administrative area.

Premier Betty wrote:What on earth is he wearing?

I think it's a waterboard.

Okay, now I'm confused....

Public Party at Private Pravda's the day this beast kicks the bucket...Absolut for everyone!

Red Square wrote:Now where were we? Oh, yes. A party mandate has been issued for Pupovich to start listening to all the songs in the People's Karaoke section (all midi files). Singing along to the provided lyrics is mandatory, at the average if 90 decibel. This will supposedly help Pupovich to cure his hearing loss, overcome the trauma, and channel his bottled-up emotions into something constructive, like wrecking the capitalist infrastructure in his administrative area.

A wise mandate indeed, o cubist One! Except 90 decibels is far too soft for someone in an advanced state of mental auditory decay. How about, say, 130, the equivalent of an Antonov airliner taking off?

Teddy babies - ROTFLMAO

Red Square wrote:In the Progressive Satrapy of New York they've cut down on [...] street cleaning, building maintenance, and other repugnant bourgeois excesses.[...]

Perhaps the party needs to institute Subbotniks here in America. Just think, we could get Al Gore (PBUH) to carry a tree branch by the Fresh Kills for a great photo op to seed the idea of free labor.
.

Comrades, I was informed by the Senator Swimmer's office that I have been chosen to control the dispersement of the soon to be expired Senator Kennedy. It is with heavy heart and open bags that I hace accepted this duty. I will assure that what few possessions that were not official State Property, is properly passed on to the People, for that is what the soon to be non-CO2 polluting senator from Mass. would want.

Pupovich wrote: I will assure that what few possessions that were not official State Property, is properly passed on to the People

But what are we gonna do with 150 cases of Chivas Regal, 380 condoms, a years supply of Cialis and The Complete Collection Of Waspy Girls Gone Madcap DVDs?

Trust me Comrade, all of this will be properly disposed with. Of course, I may need some help with the accounting, storage, and distribution comrade. Would you be interested in applying?

As long as you don't forget the children, comrades. The CHILDREN!!! We do it all for them! The beautiful Kennedy love children. They are our future.

Red Square wrote:As long as you don't forget the children, comrades. The CHILDREN!!! We do it all for them! The beautiful Kennedy love children. They are our future.

The future's looking bloated w/ hope.

I will of course set up a Kennedy No Child Left Penniless Trust fund.... yes. you can trust me for this Comrade Red Square.