The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

It's my knowledge that the greedy capitalist, John Schnatter, who started his successful business at age 22 with nothing stole his wealth off the backs of exploited workers is raising prices to offset the cost of our Dear Leader's glorious Obamacare. Papa Johns is clearly trying to prevent the downtrodden masses from receiving The One's glorious healthcare because that's how markets and basic economics work, when you create legislation or bureaucracies that increase expenses, they will offset it to the consumer or lay off workers to absorb the additional cost because they hate people and want them to die so they can steal and hoard more wealth while laughing about it with their rich buddies

It seems that many other businesses are doing the same. Comrades, we can't let these evil entities of capitalism get away with this. It's not their right to decide what to do with their own businesses. Why can't we just force them to pay up or else seize their property like other progressive nations such as Venezuela?

The good news is that the people are waking up to this injustice and calling for boycotts and demanding action be taken.

Boycotts work both ways. (And I don't mean 'girlcotts.')

Boycott democrat-owned businesses, such as Google, Yahoo, Costco, etc. -- and ANYTHING from Massachusetts.

With Papa Johns, We Progs always go with "The Works!"

Comrades,

John Schnatter is only following the advice that was given when Herman Cain had his debate with Herr Schleikmeister about how tax increases will affect the prices of things. At that time the Schleikmeister agreed that the answer is to raise the price of the products as it won't hurt business at all. The Papa obviously agrees with the business acumen and wisdom of the Schleikmeister.

Greedy capitalist Schnatter's ploy will not work. I will simply tell the beets I do not plant in the fields I do not till to multiply (with the blessing of The One) like those fishes and loaves in that fairy tale. That way when the more equal redistribution is redistributed I will get my fair share of pizza ... assuming Moo and the health panel approve and establish my permitted toppings according to Food Pyramid Agency™ regulations.

Dont worry - St. Obamaclaus knows Free Pizza is a basic human right as is Free Delivery.



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“Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have rejoiced in their loss of freedom who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of more security, more living fatly at the expense of the industrious. – Cicero

Comrades, I should think that the answer here is simple - and fully equal: it's time for a government takeover of the pizza industry.

Comrade Rock,

An equitable solution to a mostly edible problem. Papa John has moved to the outhouse where he belongs.

Comrade ROCK,

Might we include FREE pick up and FREE delivery with that order.

Well said, Comrade Rock! That would, however, require a prior takeover of all industries that supply the ingredients for pizza beforehand. But all things are possible through the strength and power of the Almighty Government Gods!

Well, if FREE Pickup and FREE Delivery are integral parts of Our New Obammunist Amerikkka, then shouldn't the pizza item itself also be free? Think of the tireless efforts of the Union Of Cheeseworkers, the incredible efforts of The Glorious Heroic Jalapeno Pickers' Collective, plus The Tomato Labor Front of Amerikkka, the endless struggle of The Dough-Spankers Union, and The Mushroom Peoples' Militia! Then consider all the other tireless Workers Who Struggle To Bring About The World Of Last Tuesday!