The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

The Office of the People's Commissar for Health Control issued a directive today to all subordinate organs of the Department of Mandatory Health and Human Services to prepare legislation for the People's Congress aimed at limiting unhealthy activities amongst the workers and peasants of the USSA.

A recent study shows that many Young Socialists, who are tomorrow's workers and peasants after their indoctrination activities in university and acquisition of their fair share of the People's Debt (i.e. college loans), are being medically afflicted at an alarmingly high rate by their personal choices.

Report: Americans Die Younger, Contract More STDs Than Any Other High-Income Country Worldwide

While the Party maintains that Young Socialists should work hard to contravene Bourgeois morality and engage in behavior considered taboo by false religions, it is important that they be kept as healthy as possible to ensure that future Five-year Plans can be met and that the People's Health System is not overburdened. A depleted workforce means that pension obligations will become more difficult to manage, which is an unacceptable outcome.

Therefore, the Party is working towards a new Healthy Behavior Plan, not unlike the universal disarmament order under the Weapons Violence Plan under formation through the administrative offices of the Party Central Committee directed by Comrade President Barack Barackovich Obama.

This Healthy Behavior Plan is expected to receive the endorsement of Vice-Chairwoman Michelle Fraserovna Obama, who has devoted her Vice-Chairwomanship to making the USSA a healthier State through dietary controls.

Now, the Party will gradually expand this vision beyond merely agitating for healthy eating, but further restrictions on behaviors that the Party defines as unhealthy and counter-productive to the workers' and peasants' collective health. In the future, people can expect:

• A new radio-transmitter belt with sensors designed to monitor your eating habits and send this information to State Health authorities.
  
• A permitting process for sexual activity, which will include mandatory disease testing and quarantining of infected persons until their mandatory treatment is competed.
  
• A new ‘helmet-cam' for all young persons under the age of 21 that will not only protect their heads from traumatic injury due to risky behavior, but will also stream live video to the Department of Social Justice so that law enforcement can interrupt any potentially dangerous activity, thus saving the State billions of People's Dollars in medical expenses.

The Party wants Young Socialists to enjoy themselves the way the ‘Baby Boom' generation did, but without chronic health problems and mortality rates that effect State productivity.

A balance must be struck between a care-free youth and disciplined social responsibility. The Party will devote itself to maintaining this balance through monitoring and regulating of popular decision making.

Let us enjoy the blessings of Socialism through Social Controls!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-nose

A good suggestion would be a permanent colonoscopy cam installed in the thought processes of each Amerikkan subject to monitor lower digestive health as well as prevent the smuggling of contraband materials such as high magazine capacities and stuff. These devices will be paid for with the savings from ObamaCare and help bend the cost curve, among other things, down.

They must be kept as healthy as possible so they can work to pay for the social justice for which they voted. Won't they be surprised?

I second the motion for a colonoscopy cam...a.k.a. Butt Plug of Freedom.

Such a device would have prevented this unfortunate incident in which a Federal Worker's life time job was almost/ kind of/ but not really put at risk.

"An official reprimand served to a Social Security Administration employee for repeatedly passing gas in the workplace has been rescinded by the agency, according to the Washington Post.

A partially redacted copy of the letter the employee received, dated Dec. 10, was posted online by The Smoking Gun later in the month. The website reported that the worker is a 38-year-old Maryland resident."

https://washington.cbslocal.com/2013/01 ... -employee/

Thank goodness experts are in charge.

“Research is important, but we should not wait for more data before taking action, because we already know what to do,”

...wow...i don't suppose they know to re-stigmatize unwed motherhood, pre marital sex and de-stigmatize religion

of course not, 'research (funding) is important'

"so that law enforcement can interrupt any potentially dangerous activity"
Having an electric stun function built into the headgear can improve the ability to stop anti-communal activities.

Record your own activity, Obama needs to know you are faithful to the state.

[img]/images/Poster_Pinup_Worker_Girl_Sister.jpg[/img]

Did you go to work today, sister?

... and many more similar posters here: https://thepeoplescube.com/current-trut ... t5369.html

Do your part for the stimulus, pick up your unemployment and welfare checks today.