The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

Last week, the British Socialist Commonwealth's Committee for Redistributive Algorithms appealed to the Directorate for Minorities Ranking of the Office of the Commissar for Equality Enforcement under the Department of Social Egalitarianism and Redistribution for clarification and guidance on the matter of the proper social ranking and victimhood status of Transsexual Males-to-Females in light of concerns voiced by Feminists that their victim status was being jeopardized by improper categorization.

Feminists versus transsexuals: Julie Burchill, Suzanne Moore and The Observer spark civil war on the Left

In short, BS Party members from the Feminist Caucus are questioning whether Transsexual Males-to-Females meet the proper classification of Female in order to qualify for Victimhood status, given that Males without other qualifiers are by Party definition not a minority group qualifying for redistributive benefits under Party algorithms for social justice.

Transsexual Males-to-Females, on the other hand, state that their victimization ranking should be elevated above the general categorization of Females (which is broken down into 27 further subcategories by the Directorate for Minorities Ranking). This due to the fact that they are neither psychologically nor anatomically Male (depending on the subcategorizations offered by the Subcommittee for Transsexual Studies), which leaves them rejected by Males and thus qualified for victimhood status, while also equally rejected by Females, giving them double-credit for victim status and potentially placing the victimhood ranking ahead of the general category of Females.

Caucus members are divided over whether they should cede their position, leading to lively discussions within the Feminist community and its subcategorical groups. Given the highly influential standing of European Socialist parties vis-à-vis the USSA, and especially since the BS Party speaks English as many of our USSA members do, the final decision of the BS Party will likely be adopted here via the Canadian Socialist Party/Canadienne du Parti Socialiste once an adequate English and French parallel translation can be agreed upon.

The USSA is deeply grateful to BS Party leadership in areas such as Militant Atheism, Collectivist Healthcare, and Universal Disarmament. Their progress in this area will be welcomed by our Party, which looks to British Socialism as a model for American Socialism.

Until this matter is officially resolved, Party members are instructed to refer any related disputes to their local Party offices and refrain in engaging the topic until the Party's Central Committee empowers our own Department of Social Egalitarianism and Redistribution to issue a final ranking status for all the various Caucuses of the Party, thus establishing the proper redistributive levels of social justice.

Equal Rights for all minorities through Party-approved ranking! Struggle for Redistributive Justice!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser

Comrade Nomenclature Climber,

I am continually awe-struck by your collectivist insights. One thing we need to emphasize, however, is that conservative women (regardless of whether they may be straight, transgendered, transmogriphied, gay, sad, etc.) must NEVER be on top. One of our most esteemed theoreticians, Bill Maher has told us so.




--KOOK

I found this picture on A Radical Profeminist blog that sounds a lot like what Comrade Nomenklatura-climber writes and it took me a minute to figure out if this wasn't a spoof.

Radical Profeminist wrote:PART ONE OF TWO: The Anti-Radical, Anti-Feminist Alliance Between Some Pro-Transgender, Pro-Sex Work Activists and Pro-Procurement, Pro-Pimp Patriarchs

The image just below is graphically violent and is not intended as an anti-Medusa statement as I hope you'll understand very shortly. It depicts the beheading by Perseus of the ancient Greek figure in mythology: Medusa.

The article is written against a certain kind of man who, "in the name of feminism, becomes a misogynist," using the example of Perseus.

Predictably, the author turns the reality on its head (no pun intended) and contradicts herself, since Perseus actually kills Medusa Gorgona (an archetypal feminist) and used the final hateful look in the eyes of her head to turn a sea monster to stone and thus to save a young innocent woman, Andromeda (who was not a feminist).

In other words, Perseus does the opposite of what the blog claims. He destroys a feminist in the name of good, normal women.

So Perseus is indeed anti-feminist - but he loves women and is not a misogynist,

Thus, while the picture caption is true, this illustration contradicts the authors argument rather than supports it.

Since evolution is the progressive order of the day, is it possible that we should allow the "changelings" to achieve rank and status the same way that is done in Mother Nature's grand plan? Has anyone seen what happens when a neutered dog is placed in a pen with some number of other dogs still with all of the factory equipment?

It's not "social equality!

There is a system. Let it run its course,

for the Children™ ....

Dear Comrade Director,

In certain echelons of the Party, there is the gnawing sense that the various Caucuses of the Party may find themselves at odds with the philosophy of the Party by disagreeing with other Caucuses. As the Party ascends to its rightful position as sole custodian of the State, there will be more of these 'class struggles' for rank in the New Socialist Order.

Here in the California Oblast, we have a very, very Democratic Socialist government... that can't get its citizens to support the Party in legalizing 'gay marriage,' because the Hispanic and African-American Caucuses despise the Gay and Transgender Caucuses, even though they are part of the Party and so their various claims to redistributive justice are to be valued by the Party. Hence, there is a 'nomenklatura' of victim groups, where one group takes precedence over another in the hierarchy of victimhood. The higher your group ranks, the more equal you become...

The spirit of the Party is strong in you, Comrade Climber!

For further reference, please examine our People's Glossary. One of its items especially applies:

Moral Authority

The right of the People to judge others (see Non-People). The poorer they are or their ancestors have been, the higher degree of Moral Authority they have.

The ranking system that determines the degree of Moral Authority works just like in an Internet search engine, such as, Google, only the role of web robots is played by progressive journalists, and the role of spiders is played by ACLU lawyers who index every group's poverty level and history of oppression going back as far as 1200 AD. The indexed groups and individuals get shuffled according to their relevance and popularity level. Relevance is determined by the number of times a progressive buzz word (suffer, gay, Muslim, AIDS, abuse, sex, drugs, environment, etc.) pops up in the group's description. Popularity is measured by the the number of TV appearances, police arrests, and interviews in the progressive media. The most relevant, popular, and oppressed of the indexed ones automatically appear at the top of the search list.

Currently the highest degree of Moral Authority, according to our search, belongs to Fatima Jones, a homeless female homosexual Pygmy, an HIV positive crack whore of Muslim faith, mentally traumatized by a sexually abusive Catholic priest, and is now serving a life sentence for stealing a motorized shopping cart at Wall-Mart.

Then there is, of course, a spot for sponsored listings at the top of the page and in the sidebar, usually filled and paid for by Democratic political candidates. The lowest degree of Moral Authority in this ranking system is ascribed to successful White male professionals, ages 30 to 65. Capitalist exploiters are not being indexed at all as they have no Moral Authority whatsoever.

Multiculturalism

Our progressive social scientists and media activists have drawn strict boundaries for every minority group in this country. Such definitions as Blacks, Muslims, Hispanics, Asians, women, or gays do not even begin to describe the infinite hierarchy of groups, subgroups, bands, and clusters. Each has its ascribed role, legend, and grievances. Each is assigned its own enclave where it must remain under the supervision of caring progressive lawyers and Commissars of Ethnic Collectivism who will speak, think, and appoint representatives on their behalf.

The job of such representatives is to pull the blanket of privileges and exclusive rights towards his or her respective group, thus rendering existing laws and the American Constitution meaningless. Together, however, they create an illusion of a vast majority, a representative body competing with the US Congress, an alternative government, a massive front battling American capitalism and its individualistic ideology.

It is a duty of every progressive citizen to nurture, advance, and recruit members for this genius system generally known as "Multiculturalism."

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:Here in the California Oblast, we have a very, very Democratic Socialist government... that can't get its citizens to support the Party in legalizing 'gay marriage,' because the Hispanic and African-American Caucuses despise the Gay and Transgender Caucuses, even though they are part of the Party and so their various claims to redistributive justice are to be valued by the Party.

Indeed, it may become tricky: how can a feminist deny the rights of a transgendered man-to-woman person if she herself is, in a way, a woman-to-man person, living with her inner-male comrade and occasionally unleashing him on competition, including transgendered man-to-woman person?

Dear Comrade Director,

I will commense reading immediately! Thank you for this excellent resource.


I'm still digging through my old library for "A Guide to Communist Jargon" for a refresher course in CommSpeak. Finding this site has been such a gift. Thank you for keeping this bastion of sanity going in an increasingly insane world...

Comrades, as a computer professional who is completely and utterly confused by the complexities of the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transsexual/Undecided/Men-who-are-womyn-who-are-men/Womyn-who-are-men-who-are-womyn/etc. crowd, I believe that it may be incumbent upon me to write an App.

Said application, whether residing on one's desktop/laptop/iPhone/Android/iPad/etc. will, at the push of a (virtual) button determine what is both politically and genderally correct at the moment in time the button is (virtually) pushed, thereby providing up to date, verifiable and veritable korrekt information and guidance on the Current Truth™ of Genderness.

Will it work like the Mood Ring? Do you have to stick it somewhere in order for it to take the reading? Smaller smart phones may be more appropriate, although It's safe to assume there will be a demand for this app on Kindle Fire HD, iPads, and even smaller to medium-sized laptops.

Comrade Red Square, you are the first to which I am for telling this: soon, as a Party App™, iGILBERT will be available on EVERY platform worldwide, including such diverse - and I use the word in all its diversity - platforms as mood rings, crystal balls, and Ouija Boards, as well as ALL computer-based platforms. Even GPS and MRI/CT scans.

iGILBERT, Comrade, is the Rosetta Stone of Diversity™.

I wouldn't touch this subject with an ugly stick wrapped in a sex change directive.

This exchange about the iGILBERT reminds me to remind you all that the word "giblet" has been declared misogynist hate-speak, ESPECIALLY when combined with the hate-speak codeword "gravy." What, you don't see the connection? Or do you merely refuse to acknowledge the depths of your anti-feminism, hater?

Yea, Perseus is real tough with one Medusa, but put him in with a bunch of Amazons and see how much many heads he gets. Is that a cocktail dress he's wearing?

I need an organizational chart to keep up with Nomenklatura-climber 's bureaucracy. With near 50 posts the task seems too daunting. It would be an a useful People's Tool though. The 1st paragraph alone has four new entities.

Expel The Red States wrote:I need an organizational chart to keep up with Nomenklatura-climber 's bureaucracy. With near 50 posts the task seems too daunting. It would be an a useful People's Tool though. The 1st paragraph alone has four new entities.

I did one for the last three days but going any further back would require pulling state critical beet harvesters from their duties.

Comrade Red Square, are you sure you have the right Medusa?

Time to update the old classics...

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:

I'm still digging through my old library for "A Guide to Communist Jargon" for a refresher course in CommSpeak. Finding this site has been such a gift. Thank you for keeping this bastion of sanity going in an increasingly insane world...

Comrade Nom, (may I call you Nom? It reminds me of my mentor and idol Noam Chompski)

If you're looking for Com-Speak references, look no further than CNN, MSN-BS-C, Rachel Maddcow, Chris "Fritz" Mattspews, David Gregory, Elinor "Broomhandle" Clift, et al, or since you give reference of Cawl-E-Fawn-yah, maybe take a weekend outing hanging out at Hate and Assbury listening to the enlightened ones sharing wisdom and good commie vibes.

Dear Comrade Sugar (the best sugar comes from sugar beets, you know), Sure, call me Nom, just don't call me 'Digger.' That's my wife, Rouble-Digger. The problem with following State Media in the USSA is that they are, for the most part, really bad writers in any style. I went to school with many of their functionaries. I know who slept with who (i.e. took 'internships'), and how morbidly pessimistic newsrooms are about the judgment of the Average Josef. Talent, forget it. Now that I have climbed to this new elevation, I found that my skills have gone fallow. I thank the Comrade Director for making this possible, and in the Spirit of Appeasement, I want to return to my old foundations so that I may offer a better Fruit of Socialism to the Collective Redistribution Center we call the People's Cube™.

Sugar Daddy Bear wrote:

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:

I'm still digging through my old library for "A Guide to Communist Jargon" for a refresher course in CommSpeak. Finding this site has been such a gift. Thank you for keeping this bastion of sanity going in an increasingly insane world...

Comrade Nom, (may I call you Nom? It reminds me of my mentor and idol Noam Chompski)

If you're looking for Com-Speak references, look no further than CNN, MSN-BS-C, Rachel Maddcow, Chris "Fritz" Mattspews, David Gregory, Elinor "Broomhandle" Clift, et al, or since you give reference of Cawl-E-Fawn-yah, maybe take a weekend outing hanging out at Hate and Assbury listening to the enlightened ones sharing wisdom and good commie vibes.

Nomenklatura-climber wrote:The problem with following State Media in the USSA is that they are, for the most part, really bad writers in any style. I went to school with many of their functionaries. I know who slept with who (i.e. took 'internships'), and how morbidly pessimistic newsrooms are about the judgment of the Average Josef. Talent, forget it.

Comrade Nom,

I agree the best sugar comes from beets, but the bestest ever 'sugar' comes from OPM as redistributed by the O'bama Regime™. That's the 'sugar' I want from cradle to grave; etched on my unmarked tombstone.

The "problem" you have elucidated here, regarding the State Media —really bad writers, morbid pessimism — really isn't a "problem" at all. It's known as a "Resumé Enhancement". Bad writers are not only in vogue, but are in great demand as well. Just look at any T.V. sitcom, or any evening news report. Mediocrity has become the New Normal just as much as 20% unemployment has become. Morbid pessimism is a useful tool, every bit as much as morbid obesity has become. What better way to have the proletariat perceive their lives as mundane, boorish 'one-paycheck-away' failures? When the only 'ray of Hope™' is looking to the East towards D.C. for a sunny day, you can bet pessimism will be promoted just for that end.

And Talent: the only talent ones needs today to suceed is to prove they have no talent at all; just a ton of good intentions and a big heart that cares more than the next prole.

As Algore once prophesied, "Everything's that's up is down; everything's that's down is up". Once we adjust our rose-colored glasses with the Current Prescription™ everything becomes very clear.

All Party members can use a little positive ideological reinforcement. This should coincide with some self indulgence for maximum effect. I'm going to to fire up my DVD and telescreen and watch Jack Lemmon and Terry Thomas validate Real Manhood in "How to Murder Your Wife."
Maybe Hollywood could do a modern twisted remake of that movie starring Rosie O'Donnell, Grace Jones, and Charlie Sheen.

Should not a proper point of concern include whether our glorious quasi feminist tranny comrades "strap on" or "strap off".