1/16/2013, 1:36 pm
Dear Comrades,
The Committee for State Security under the Department of Homeland Social Security issued a directive to all citizens regarding words that should not be used in public. The Department's Directorate for Popular Communication Regulation has compiled a list of words that, if used in public communications like email, telegrams, or Morse code transmissions via licensed radio transceivers, will result in an immediate investigation by State Security officials.
Dept. of Homeland Security Forced to Release List of Keywords Used to Monitor Social Networking Sites
All citizens are reminded that their conversations are monitored for the safety and security of the People. Because of the joys of Democratic Socialism, we often forget that hate speech and non-progressive thought can also be communicate from one person to another through subversive arguments and counter-revolutionary agitation. The State ensures the safety and security of all citizens by monitoring and recording communication between citizens and intervening in such cases where falsehoods or malicious lies are being communicated.In this way, all citizens can feel free to share their innermost thoughts with others, without fear that they are leading others astray, because the State is watching with a careful and caring eye (and ear). However, citizens are also instructed to denounce any unauthorized use of these words. A new, convenient way to register denunciations is via email:
[email protected]
Citizens should review the list of words and memorize them for future reference. The State reserves these words only for State usage, and any attempt to use them without authorization will result in an automatic investigation. Usage of these words without authorization will result in charges of theft of Government Property under the new Federal Penal Code issued by the White Fortress in commemoration of the second unanimous election of Comarade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama as Head of State.
Citizen, watch what you say!
Report use of unauthorized words!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser
