1/18/2013, 10:52 am
President B.B. Obama's Council on Jobs and Competitiveness Prevention has declared victory on the struggle against unemployment, having made so much progress on matter than meetings have been unnecessary for the past year.
The historically low levels of unemployment (when factoring for State benefits as a type of employment, usually categorized as ‘community organizing') led not only the unanimous reelection of the President by the workers and peasants of the USSA, but also further encouragement towards increased collectivization through taxation and Kulak property seizures.
Obama Jobs Council hits 1 year without official meeting
Comrade Barack Barackovich is so please with the Committee's achievements that he has been able to spend more time on other priorities of the State, rather than obsessing about job growth. The People of the USSA are also satisfied, as can be seen not only in B. B. Obama's unanimous reelection, but also his record-high favorability ratings when citizens are interrogated by Party members of the Collective Broadcast Media Service.Members of the Council have travelled throughout the USSA, conducting investigations and gathering denunciations of Capitalism and counter-revolutionary economic activities, such as competition with State-sponsored industries. Citizens are reminded that it is their patriotic duty to buy merchandise from State enterprises and cooperatives, like General Electric or those companies featuring ‘green' in their name (just remember, ‘green' is the new ‘red').
Officials within the White Fortress have not announced whether the Comrade President Barack Barackovich will reappoint the Council at the end of its term this year, given the great success of the State Economy. The President previously disbanded the Economic Recovery Advisory Board after declaring full economic recovery during his first term in office.
To mark the one-year anniversary of the President's victory over the Great Recession of G. G. Bush, the Party is considering declaring a State holiday, with full compensation to all workers and mandatory State media programming to explain to the Masses how a recovery is properly calculated under Socialist Economics.
Congratulations to the President and his Council for their victory over unemployment!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser