The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama has ordered the People's Senate to confirm Comrade Commissar B. Todd Vissarionovich Jones as Chief Commissar for the Bureau of Dangerous Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, & Finger Gestures, which is under the Department of Social Justice and responsible for implementation of numerous aspects of the Affordable Healthcare Act.

Comrade Commissar B. Todd Vissarionovich is known as a strict Party loyalist, and has conducted numerous purges both as a USSA Marine, District Attorney, and BDATFEFG Acting Chief Commissar following the mysterious disappearance of the previous Commissar.

In a recent video, Comrade Commissar B. T. V. Jones promised more investigations and purges of disloyal BDATFEFG functionaries. The Comrade Commissar is certain to prosecute any employees of the BDATFEFG who question the authority of the Party or attempt to divulge State secrets

Obama's ATF Nominee Criticized for Seeming to Discourage Whistleblowers

The BDATFEFG defends the Fatherland against illegal substances, such as guns, and illegal activites, such as gun-shaped finger gestures, from threatening the peace and stability of our glorious Progressive Democratic Socialist Republic. The State has guarantees the safety and security of all citizens through its 58 Federal Law Enforcement Agencies and Directorates, not including State Security apparatuses at the Oblast and County District levels, which brings the number to around 2,000.

Citizens should feel secure knowing that our Glorious Leader, Comrade President Barack Barackovich, is installing such a strict and loyal Party member to this important Law Enforcement agency, where he will make sure State secrets are preserved and that decisions will not be made without his authorization. Rigidity of discipline is a great strength, the pillar of Socialist bureaucracy!

The Party supports B. T. V. Jones as Chief Commissar!
Purge the BDATFEFG of disloyal Counter-revolutionaries!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser

Comrade Nom,

Whistle blowing is still encouraged when it comes to exposing subversive Tea Partiers or Rethuglikkkan trolls. Usually a middle finger gesture is all that's needed to expose them.

Excuse me, excuse me. I can't help being confused over all this whistling - is this whistle blower problem related to the Rethugglikkkan dog whistle code? Are these whistles, then, assault whistles? And how many whistles does a Rethugglikkkan code whistle blower really need to call a deer dog?

I personally think that that OTHER Jones guy, that Van one, would be a better permanent Director for the BDATFEFG - not only was he once a card-carrying communist, but anybody brings up his past and he could just send a troop o' BATF*CKERS to their door at 3:00 am and no more problem!

Comrade Anthony Woodrovovich "Van" Jones cannot serve as a Commissar for State organs because his speciality is in Propaganda and Agitation. The Office of the Chief Commissar is supposed to work largely unnoticed. The best work of State Security apparatuses is done in a way that cannot be detected... like the Inaugural App.

Comrade Nomenklatura-climber, we are please to see that you do not take the weekend off as some of our lazier comrades are prone to do while the people's fields grow weeds and reports are left in their bottom drawers. Yes, the King can choose whomever he wills. Winning means you get to decide the shape of the Round Table. I believe, if we looked closely, Barack Obama would have royal blood flowing through his veins. In Kenya, the land of his ancestors, the village obeyed the King. So be it.

While they're at it, they may as well change the logo for the heroic organization that is the Bureau of Dangerous Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, & Finger Gestures.

[img]/images/Bureau_Alcohol_Tobacco_Firearms_Fingers.png[/img]

Well, after the last round of purges at work, I lucked out with house arrest and doubled work quota. No labor camp in Wyoming for me!

Ever-vigilant for the safety and security of all workers and peasants of the USSA!

Dear Comrade Director,
Just looking at this logo makes me feel guilty of something. I need to find that stack of Self-Denunciation Forms around here...

Red Square wrote:While they're at it, they may as well change the logo for the heroic organization that is the Bureau of Dangerous Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Explosives, & Finger Gestures.

Does this mean that the Bureau no longer covers Sugar and Salt? How did these slip away from Government control?