1/19/2013, 11:45 pm
"Yeah, it's a lot like the star in the heavens that preceded the so-called messiah's birth 2000 years ago," stated presidential spokesmouth Jay "Carney" Carney, "But as we all know, leading from behind is always preferable in today's progressive world of NextTuesday™, so the president issued an Executive Order to have the comet show up well into his second term".
As the comet passes within 800,000 miles of Earth, the solar activity that will light up the comet will also unleash multiple Coronal Mass Ejections, or CME, that project trillions of tons of radioactive material at millions of miles per hour toward Earth. Fortunately, Obamaphones™ and other progressive technology isn't affected by such radioactivity, and Carney barked that "Business will go on as usual, except that everyone on earth will be so much more aware of the glory of the new Messiah for whom the comet has appeared".
NASA scientists currently engaged in their assigned duties in the east with various Misloom peoples stated that they will, indeed, begin a pilgrimage back to the USSA as the comet's time of approach grows near, bringing along such items as taxes, choom incense, and perfumes purchased on sale.
"We remember when all we got to do was mess around with rockets and stuff, but now we get to combine space with the new Messiah and the Mislooms - it don't get no better than that!" stated official NASA spokesunit Abdul Akbar Muhammed Mohammed (formerly known as Joe McConnell) when asked about NASA's official position on the arrival of the comet.
