1/23/2013, 3:11 am
A forthcoming erotic novelfeaturing Barack and Michelle Obama and, possibly, ghost-written by Bill Ayers, will soon become available online to the toiling masses in need of a thrill up their collective leg. Unfortunately for lovers of American history and literature, the action does not take place in the Lincoln Bedroom or anywhere in the White House.
Titled Guesthouse Games, the book takes the First Couple to a guesthouse in Hawaii, where they apparently encounter an ancient roaming specter of communism, which forces them to explore their deepest and most forbidden desires of class struggle and redistribution of wealth. Will our leading couple resist the guesthouse games or help everyone to get a fair share? We'll have to read the book before we know what's in it.
One thing is certain: it is guaranteed to enhance, enlarge and upsize your awareness of the issues. After all, the size of your awareness is everything when it comes to impressing the opposite sex - or same sex, for that matter. You will learn things and techniques that will allow you to penetrate anyone's individual or collective consciousness deeper and longer. Women just love listening to a progressive man with a huge social conscience. If you're a progressive woman, learn how to become the talk of the town and amaze anyone you meet with the depth of your understanding of social equality and redistributive justice.
But this is not all! As almost everything in Barack Obama's futuristic campaigning, the content of this book can be easily modified and targeted to narrow, special-interest audiences through online "personalization." Select names, details, and fantasies of your choice and they will automatically become part of the narrative. If you liked Obama campaign materials, you will also love this book's fully customizable story with "characters that are relatable for everyone" and "experiences that are credible."
The downside is that all your entered information will immediately get into the Democrat Party marketing database, where it will be electronically analyzed to determine best ways to approach you with requests for donations and volunteering. In addition, you will become a lifetime recipient of daily emails from Obama For America (now doing business as Organizing for Action).
And since this is a new, experimental type of personalized and fully customizable erotic novel, let us create a version that would be fitting for our People's Cube collective.
Think of the scenes, details, and dialogue that would best appeal to you and your comrades, while at the same time be in compliance with ideological correctness, as well as serve as a tool of further progressive indoctrination and enlightenment of the feeble-minded masses.
Let us also democratically select a better title for the Obama erotic novel, as well as for the upcoming movie and DVD.
With this in mind, tonight we have already started a couple of hashtag games on Twitter:
#ObamaEroticBook
#ObamaEroticMovie
Proposed Obama Erotic Book Titles:
- My Composite Girlfriend
- The Audacity of Grope
- Fifty Shades of Red
- Eat, Play, Reggie Love
- The Secret Life of BO
- The Devil in the White House
- The Red Tent
- The Fellowship of the West Wing
- Tall, Dark, and Sociopathic
- A Series of Unfortunate Events
- He's Just Not That Into You, America
- The Unbearable Lightness of Wallet
- The Bridges of Madison County built by Chinese Contractors
- Tax Me from Behind
Obama Erotic Movie/DVD Titles:
- Nine 1/2 Squeaks
- The Story of Small O
- Wild Orca
- Kama Sutra: A Fair Share
- Prog Prince
- Michelle in the Middle
- Indecent Tax Proposal
- "I married a Teleprompter"
- Re-educating Me Softly
- The Unbearable Lightness of Wallet
- Fatal Obstruction
- Nine 1/2 Executive Orders
- Nine 1/2 Trillion
- A Night in Workers' Paradise
- Fiscal Cliffhanger
- Lie with Me
- Bitter Clinger Moon
- Rahm "Dead Fish" Emmanuelle
- Crimes of Compassion
- A Bold Internal Affair
- Poison Ivy League: The Tax Deduction
- American Booty
- Borders Wide Shut