The People's Cube - Political Satire

A Creative Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Embrace.
Stamping out children's imaginations... for the children.
7-year-old playing an imaginary game at school gets suspended for real

Equal as always, Maksim. We certainly don't want the little tykes thinking for themselves.

Comrade Maksim, this is according to the victim perpetrator.

Just sayin'.

Our dear comrade janet is just making sure that our youngest comrades understand at the earliest age possible that ONLY the gubbermint shall have access to guns or ammo, real or imagined. Now off to the beat fields for you!!!!

I suppose if he had said he was playing Obummer and saving the world with an imaginary drone strike he might have received the Mary Blair Elementary Prog-of-the-Week Award.

This school should be occupied until they clarify the "absolutes."

Can the tobacco and/or alcohol be imaginary? And, what is the difference between ordinary disrespect and "serious disrespect."?

Comrades, don't you understand that these children are on the edge of a breakthrough? If we foster more of this behavior they will be easy to brainwash reprogram persuade into accepting imaginary beet rations in lieu of beet rations.

Captain Communism wrote:Comrades, don't you understand that these children are on the edge of a breakthrough? If we foster more of this behavior they will be easy to brainwash reprogram persuade into accepting imaginary beet rations in lieu of beet rations.

And the best part is we will be able to control via imaginary beet rations & healthcare, a vast civilian army of braindead collectivist zombies highly edumukated proles to do Dear Leaders bidding! Bwahhh haaaww haaa haaaaaa......

Recently a 5 year old girl was suspended from Kindergarten and sent to a reeducation camp (“psychological evaluation”) for saying she wanted to shoot a classmate with a Hello Kitty Bubble Gun. I carried one of those on the Long March (to my litterbox).

Kindergartner Suspended Over Bubble Gun Threat

As a boy I often played war with pretend weapons, some of them handguns, some fully automatics, explosives, and even the yet undiscovered laser weapons that shot with that “ping-ping” sound.

Now that I am Prog-on'ed, I would like to apologize to all my pretend victims. The robbers, the cops, the nazis, and the alien invaders. All of you died a gruesome pretend death that could have easily been avoided if pretend weapons were less available and the government schools were enforcing zero-tolerance on pretend firearms and explosives.

Perhaps some "suspension" time in the gulag will make you adhere to our people's edukation groupthink policies comrade! And like you, we must denounce all those who do not comply!

Comrades
Go to DHS.gov to view the graduation picture of the first class, (I mean Klass), of the new Homeland Security Force commissioned by Comrade Chairman Obama to "assist" first responders during and or following disaster, which can still be found in older dictionaries before the word Dissent. They are all between the age of 18 and 25. This means they have been approved by the Zampolitburo and proclaimed allergic to reactionary thought and have taken the New Loyalty Oath to the State and the People's Party. They are armed to protect the Proletariat from the Darwinist forces of the market and all counter revolutionary influence due to painful events which will cause the onset of the worst thing we would face:The psychological construct called Reality.

Comrade Pistov wrote:Comrades
Go to DHS.gov to view the graduation picture of the first class, (I mean Klass), of the new Homeland Security Force commissioned by Comrade Chairman Obama to "assist" first responders during and or following disaster, which can still be found in older dictionaries before the word Dissent. They are all between the age of 18 and 25. This means they have been approved by the Zampolitburo and proclaimed allergic to reactionary thought and have taken the New Loyalty Oath to the State and the People's Party. They are armed to protect the Proletariat from the Darwinist forces of the market and all counter revolutionary influence due to painful events which will cause the onset of the worst thing we would face:The psychological construct called Reality.

Her Comrade,
I am installing the HS early warning devices at every edukators desk here in the Peoples Democratic Republik of Ohiostan. How fast can we get a drone here anyway?

Any pupil caught with spit balls, straws or rubber bands will be subject to immediate suspension and placed on a ration of half portions of root vegtables for a minimum of 90 days. Its for the childern ™

Molotov wrote:Any pupil caught with spit balls, straws or rubber bands will be subject to immediate suspension and placed on a ration of half portions of root vegetables for a minimum of 90 days. Its for the children ™

Half rations comrade? What gulag did you come from?

That is NOT a punishment where I come from, it would be called a gift!

A real punishment would be to make them work the beet fields all day with NOTHING to eat except a handful of dirt that they could sneak in between guard patrols! The real lucky ones would find a grub, or a worm in that handful and have a feast (like I did once). Or maybe that was a dried cat turd from comrade meow, I don't really recall right now but I do remember a hint of fish flavors as I gratefully chewed!

Chairman Meow wrote:Recently a 5 year old girl was suspended from Kindergarten and sent to a reeducation camp (“psychological evaluation”) for saying she wanted to shoot a classmate with a Hello Kitty Bubble Gun. I carried one of those on the Long March (to my litterbox).

Kindergartner Suspended Over Bubble Gun Threat

This reminded me of a Chairman Mao's quote: Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Today it needs to be revised to match the new course of history:

And then it needs to be revised even further to fit the most Current Truth:


Political power grows out of the barrel of a bubble gun: it's true on so many levels!

I sometimes "thought" as a child. Is unprotected thought-sex punishable by imprisonment, or just re-edumacations?

spymyeyes wrote: A real punishment would be to make them work the beet fields all day with NOTHING to eat except a handful of dirt that they could sneak in between guard patrols! The real lucky ones would find a grub, or a worm in that handful and have a feast (like I did once). Or maybe that was a dried cat turd from comrade meow, I don't really recall right now but I do remember a hint of fish flavors as I gratefully chewed!

That must have been when I personally fertilized the fields as part of my Great Leap Furward. Beet production only declined 37 percent that year. And, you're welcome.

Red Square wrote:Political power grows out of the barrel of a bubble gun: it's true on so many levels!

Bubbles, as in bubble economy. If it weren't for all the welfare propping up what would be millions of destitute people and making them wards of the State it would be quite obvious even to you damn commies that we're actually in a depression. That's one bubble I can think of. But don't worry. Everything's okay.

The welfare state, a bubble economy that protects the Left from the masses rising up in revolt against them and their destructive agenda.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]This happens all the time. One of my coworker's sons was suspended for the same thing (using his finger like a gun) a few weeks ago. He's about the same age. What's worse is that she was mortified her kid had done it!!! "I don't know what I did wrong," etc.


When I protested that, in my humble opion as a trained family psychotherapist, I thought that boys using finger guns was pretty normal (yes, girls do it too, of course but I would argue that little boys NEED to act out aggression in safe ways), the rest of the people in the room stared at me like I had two heads.



Yeah, I need a new job. *But this type of thinking is way too pervasive. The most ludicrous I've heard so far is somewhere there's a deaf kid named Hunter who has been told he can't sign his name in ASL....the sign for Hunter is a finger pointed & thumb up like a gun, apparently.



*Maybe a private practice where I do the kind of family in which I teach parents to arm their kids & tell them they can't have sex till they're married, they have to move out of the family home with a paid job by the age of 25 (preferrably long before that), and that they (parents) really do know much better than the kids, or the government, about their job.

While in my misspent youth, my mother wisely forbade possession of dangerous weapons such as cap pistols and the like. I nonetheless found that evolution had supplied me with two admirably crafted finger guns that she was somewhat reluctant to remove from my possession, despite their evil design. Proudly on the playground I would brandish my weapons and sing out with my friends our reactionary anthem:

"Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Met her at the door with a loaded '44
And there ain't no teacher no more."

We all sang. We all fired our weapons. But strangely no teacher or classmate died, was maimed or even felt compelled to duck.

My Lyudi wrote:While in my misspent youth, my mother wisely forbade possession of dangerous weapons such as cap pistols and the like. I nonetheless found that evolution had supplied me with two admirably crafted finger guns that she was somewhat reluctant to remove from my possession, despite their evil design. Proudly on the playground I would brandish my weapons and sing out with my friends our reactionary anthem:

"Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Met her at the door with a loaded '44
And there ain't no teacher no more."

We all sang. We all fired our weapons. But strangely no teacher or classmate died, was maimed or even felt compelled to duck.

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers
We have broke the Golden Rule
We broke into the office
And we killed the principal
Our truth is marching on!




On top of old smokey, all covered in sand
I killed my poor teacher with a big rubber band
I did it with pleasure I did it with glee
I couldn't have missed her, she weighed 543

I went to her funeral, I went to her grave
(can't remmeber the 2 lines here)
With a great big grenade



.Here's one that would shock all the DEA people:

To the tune of See Say Oh Playmate:


See-say-oh hippie
Come out and smoke with me
And bring your LSD
Climb up my marijuana tree (OK, we were in elementary school, we didn't know marijuana didn't grow on trees!!!)

We'll start a riot
Protest against the war
And we'll be drunken bums forevermore



To the tune of "Where is Thumbkin":

Marijuana, marijuana,
LSD, LSD
Scientists make it
Teachers take it
Why can't we
Why can't we


More wanton violence:

Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell
And when she blew the whistle, she blew it all to
Hello operator, get me number nine
And if you don't connect me
I'll kick you in behind the frigerator
Their was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy fell upon it, and broke her little
Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies
Miss Lucy told me all this the day before she
Dyed her hair purple, dyed her hair pink
Dyed her hair all colors, and washed it down the sink



I remember feeling particularly scandalous at age 6, singing that and the kill-your-teacher songs. It was sort of OK to sing them on the playground, but not around your mom.

And more substance abuse:



Dough, the stuff that buys my beer
Ray, the guy who sells me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long way to the bar
So, I think I'll have a beer
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer
La la la la la la la la la
That will bring us back to dough.

To the tune of The Monkees:

Here we come
We're late for class
Coz we were in the john
Smokin' up some grass
Hey hey we're the junkies....

More wanton violence:

Little bunny foo foo
Walkin in the forest
pickin up the field mice
Bop em in the head


(spoken) and down came the good fairy and she said:

Little bunny foo foo
I don't want to see you
Pickin up the field mice,
bop em on the head

(spoken) I'll give you three chances, and if you disobey me, I'm going to turn you into a jawa!*

The song goes on and (unfortunately for anyone listening) on until bunny loses his three chances, turns into a jawa* and goes right back out molesting field mice.

*The original doesn't say "jawa", I can't remember what it says, because everytime I try to sing it I remember when my sisters and I made all the characters Star Wars characters ("And down came Ben Kenobi and he said, "Little princess leia, I don't wanna see ya, pickin up the R2s bop em on the head!") for the benefit of my then-3 year old brother.

We three kings of Orient are
Smoking on a rubber cigar
(spoken:) It was loaded! And exploded!

We two kings of Orient are.....


Here's a couple that definitely wouldn't pass muster in hearing distance of a modern school official, but just because it's gross, I suppose:

Have you ever been to the 'lectric chair?
They push a button and you're not there!
They wrap you in a big white sheet
And send you down about 6 feet

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
the worms play pinochle on your snout....



_____________________________

To the tune of "We are the World:"

We are the worms
Out on the sidewalk
We are the ones who go squishy squish,
So watch where you walk.....

If memory doesn't fail, I think there were some songs about killing bus drivers, too. Who could be really mean.

***

Curious to see if Red Square has any examples of songs that, umh, immature Communists might have sung around grades 1-7 in the Glorious Soviet Union.