3/2/2013, 11:36 am
State Run Media Breaking News:
March 2, 2013
San Quentin Prison has announced today that due to cuts in the budget as a result of sequestration Charles Manson has been released from Prison.
In a related story cable news channel MSNBC announces they have signed Mr. Manson to a 5 year contract for an undisclosed amount of money.
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Dept. of Homeland Security and the Dept. of Health and Human Services announces that a little known provision in The Affordable Heath Care Act will be able to maintain the TSA without any cut backs.
The clause in the new health care law allows agencies to consolidate resources to ensure continuity of services.
The TSA will now begin prostate and rectal exams, breast cancer screening, PAP smears and routine x-rays. HHS has added that these services will not increase wait times since these services were being conducted anyway.
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Attorney General Eric Holder has announced that all weapons provided in the program "Fast and Furious" will now originate from various gun buyback programs in major cities throughout the US.
Cost savings due to the change in the program are estimated to be around 2 million dollars annually.
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The US Department of Veterans Affairs has announced that all disabled Vets will no longer receive drugs for Post-traumatic stress disorders, depression, and psychosis related disorders.
In San Francisco several hours after the cutbacks in medication were implemented a disturbed veteran has kidnapped South Korean musician PSY.
PSY achieved fame in the US for the video Gangnam Style and has performed for President Obama recently in the White House.
In an email to Homeland Security the veteran has claimed that he has captured Ho Chi Minh and will rid the area of any insurgency of "Charlie".
Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano released this statement:
"Details are sketchy as to the identity of the disabled veteran but he is known to harass bloggers at Party approved websites. The individual is considered armed and dangerous, do not attempt to confront or apprehend the person on your own, please contact Homeland Security if you have any information on the subject. Persons of Asian descent in the area are advised to remain in their homes"
DHS has released this photo believed to be of the subject.
March 2, 2013
San Quentin Prison has announced today that due to cuts in the budget as a result of sequestration Charles Manson has been released from Prison.
In a related story cable news channel MSNBC announces they have signed Mr. Manson to a 5 year contract for an undisclosed amount of money.
***************************************************************************
Dept. of Homeland Security and the Dept. of Health and Human Services announces that a little known provision in The Affordable Heath Care Act will be able to maintain the TSA without any cut backs.
The clause in the new health care law allows agencies to consolidate resources to ensure continuity of services.
The TSA will now begin prostate and rectal exams, breast cancer screening, PAP smears and routine x-rays. HHS has added that these services will not increase wait times since these services were being conducted anyway.
***************************************************************************
Attorney General Eric Holder has announced that all weapons provided in the program "Fast and Furious" will now originate from various gun buyback programs in major cities throughout the US.
Cost savings due to the change in the program are estimated to be around 2 million dollars annually.
***************************************************************************
The US Department of Veterans Affairs has announced that all disabled Vets will no longer receive drugs for Post-traumatic stress disorders, depression, and psychosis related disorders.
In San Francisco several hours after the cutbacks in medication were implemented a disturbed veteran has kidnapped South Korean musician PSY.
PSY achieved fame in the US for the video Gangnam Style and has performed for President Obama recently in the White House.
In an email to Homeland Security the veteran has claimed that he has captured Ho Chi Minh and will rid the area of any insurgency of "Charlie".
Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano released this statement:
"Details are sketchy as to the identity of the disabled veteran but he is known to harass bloggers at Party approved websites. The individual is considered armed and dangerous, do not attempt to confront or apprehend the person on your own, please contact Homeland Security if you have any information on the subject. Persons of Asian descent in the area are advised to remain in their homes"
DHS has released this photo believed to be of the subject.
