The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

In a great victory for the Socialist Democratic Party, economics inspectors have announced that so-called ‘private property' amongst Americans, i.e. property not yet properly collectivized under State control, decreased by over $505 billion in the month of January 2013, which in enough to cover two months of State spending on the budget.

The overall goal of the Party is to fully collectivize the US economy before the end of Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama's second term as premier. This will require the value of State holdings to exceed 50% of the total economy, including the value of both ‘private property' and ‘personal property.'

Citizens who have paid attention during mandatory indoctrination classes know that ‘private property' encompasses the illegitimate claims of certain people to maintain control over the means of production.

Under Socialism, citizens are allowed to retain ‘personal property' that are not productive in nature, such as cooking implements, marital aids, photos, and mementos of a non-political nature. Once an item can be used for the production of wealth or has political significance as defined by the Party, then its ownership is automatically transferred to the State for redistribution. Personal Property is still subject to regulation by the State in terms of the permissibility of ownership through health and Safety regulations.

Since Capitalists elements have retained some claims to ‘private property,' the State must work hard to devalue these holdings until the claims are no longer worth keeping and ownership rights are surrendered by the reactionaries.

The State has a number of tools for this process: taxation, regulation, permits, and currency inflation. The Party also encourages personal debt, which can then be guaranteed by the State and thus the ownership of the property secured by the debt also falls under government supervision.

The good news of this January tells us that the State's share of the economy is growing, Comrades! Very soon, we will reach the tipping point in which all the means of production will finally be ceded to the State, and our vision of a glorious Wokers' Paradise will become a reality!

Down with Private Property! The Means of Production belongs to the Workers and Peasants of the USSA!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

When is glorious Dear Leader going to learn from history & finish this?

Comrade Nomenklatura,

Your ability to simplify and concisely express Party doctrine in a manner easily understandable to even the stupid uneducated peasants among us is quite profound. Yet, I've searched high and low through the People's publications and not found examples of your work. Why is this?

***I have a theory: Try using Noamenklatura - this will attract those familiar with one of our great comrades Noam Chomsky. Possible?

Dear Comrade,

Having devoted a great deal of my State-controlled education studying the proper communication of the People's Truth, such writing comes naturally for me. I thank you for your recognition of my outstanding equality with all other peasants and workers of the USSA, which I am proud to stand shoulder to shoulder with as we march in lock step towards the Red Dawn that awaits us all!

I.M. Craptek wrote:Comrade Nomenklatura,

Your ability to simplify and concisely express Party doctrine in a manner easily understandable to even the stupid uneducated peasants among us is quite profound. Yet, I've searched high and low through the People's publications and not found examples of your work. Why is this?

***I have a theory: Try using Noamenklatura - this will attract those familiar with one of our great comrades Noam Chomsky. Possible?