The People's Cube - Political Satire

Experts, journalists and other respectable people were astonished today when the Vatican announced its selection of a Catholic to be the next pope.

The new pope, one Jorge Mario Bergoglio who took the name Pope Francis I, is a white hispanic from Argentina, a country that became the post-World War II home of many Nazis including Josef Mengele.

Reactions to the pick ran the gamut from mild disdain to less mild disdain.

NY Times columnist Nick Kristoff tweeted "Pope Francis...sadly traditional on sexuality and contraception," later adding "I wouldn't be at all surprised if he even believes in God or something."

Kristoff later tweeted "Wonder how Pope Francis was involved in Argentina's Dirty War — Catholic Church was complicit in repression?" causing one noted jour0list to observe, "The Vatican apparently didn't do a very good job vetting this guy, not like we did with President Obama."

Other observers were troubled by the lack of diversity in the rigidly patriarchal organization. "It appears no Muslim or atheist candidates were even considered", sniffed MSNBC's Rachel Maddow. "It's hard to believe a religion could be so closed-minded and intolerant of new ideas."

"The Nation's" Katrina vanden Heuvel said the whole papal selection process reminded her "of the Communist Party" while failing to note that almost everything reminds her of the Communist Party except perhaps for the Communist Party.

President Obama offered no immediate reaction to the choice, although aides suggested the president would be happy to allow the pope to kiss his ring when Frankie makes his pilgrimage to Washington DC.

The president will also be sending the new pope a personalized iPod loaded with Mr. Obama's speeches as a palace-warming gift. "There's a lot of new stuff on there", noted Jay Carney. "It's got his 2nd term inauguaration speech and photos. It's really cool."

There is only one reason they would overlook the obvious selection.
It's racism, straight up.

Very strange Comrades. His life style clearly indicates he has a clue about where his sustenance comes from; the collection basket, from the hands of the Collective. One can imagine what such austerity will do to Vatican traditions and the spendthrift habits of the Clergy everywhere else. That is, if He has any Clergy left. Apparently Rule #1 is No poofters.
In other news, there are rumors that Bono might go to Mass on Easter

The Vatican has, however, announced some changes in deference to President Messiah ....

Bush did this!

Dig4Utopia wrote:

A People's Joke:

"The Pope visits Washington and President Bush takes him for a ride down the Potomac on the presidential yacht. They're enjoying themselves when a gust of wind blows the Pope's hat (zucchetto) off and out onto the water. The Secret Service begins to launch a boat but Bush waves them off saying, "Wait. I'll take care of this."

Bush steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water, walks out a ways and picks up the hat. Back on board, he hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning the Washington Post carries the story complete with photos under the heading BUSH CAN'T SWIM."

Another People's Joke:

Obama, Hollande, and Putin were walking around a beautiful lake. In the middle of the lake, there was an island. "Let's go there," Obama suggested, and started walking on water to it. Hollande followed him. Putin also followed, but started sinking.

"Should we tell him where the stones are?" Hollande whispered to Obama.

"What stones?" Obama replied.

Actually, there is only The One People's joke.