The People's Cube - Political Satire

My fellow Grandchildren:

I would first like to extend my sincerest condolences to all of those whose funding will be cut in good timing – you have been warned and I suggest you find a place to hide; those bullets will not be paid for, not by this Congress anyways.

To more pressing matters of National Importance™ - I, your duly selected Speaker – have decided to take it upon myself to upgrade to a lavishly decadent luxury jet to spread my message of Hope™, National Healing™, and whatever else gets you – the proper Amerikan people – off at night. With that said; I do not apologize if it will cost the tax-payers extra dollars, nor do I apologize if the green-house gas emission rate will be higher than that of former Speaker Hastert's winged jalopy. No, I am a woman and I deserve better…much better, and, if you so decide to question me on what I want; I, the Speaker of these United States, will kick, scream and shout sexism at the top of my lungs until Chris Matthews licks my wounds and gives me the appropriate face time needed. GOP, you have been warned.

Before I close - I, your *Speaker* - would like to assure the Amerikan idiots that my luxury jet will be complete with: solid-gold seating for 42, a mini-bar, a staff of servants fit for a Hillary, a deluxe Sony Entertainment center with plush movie theater seating, an office that would make the President drool, Barbara Streisand performances on demand (in the flesh of course), a very expensive Imam to give a pre-flight prayer, walk in closets, a salt water fish tank with some of the rarest fish in the world, a replica Versailles bedroom for my sleeping comfort, the Mona Lisa, Barney the Dinosaur (for my Grandkids) and of course a boardroom for when my powerful corporate friends decide to take a trip with me to make some deals. Now then, is all of that really something to get your knickers in a bunch over? I didn't think so, and I think it's just terrible how the Republicans wish to treat me over such materialistic things… my safety is at risk here folks, and if I don't have those things…well…it might be curtains for me… your curtains!

(Lupe, get the bags packed… I got a meeting with those pukes at GE; they want money for defending my demands! MOVE IT, LUPE! THOSE BAGS AREN'T GOING TO PACK THEMSELVES YOU UNGRATEFUL WHORE!)

Thank-you and may God, Allah, Maytag Repairman Bless you All!

Nancy

Winged Jalopy? Since when did those come with wings?

Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda wrote:This kind of s*** just makes me want to shout "F*** YOU!!" at the top of my lungs, and puke every time I see you on TV.

You should have been purged...Hillary must have some sort of angle here, surely she must!!!

I think someone has a prolier than thou attitude!! Now you look here, Marshal. I deserve a private jet fit for a monarch, I EARNED it, OK? Its not easy being a womyn, got it? ITS NOT EASY! <sobs> and, and I think...<blows nose> that... that someone would understand that... NOW RUN ALONG TO THE CORNER STORE AND FETCH ME A BOX OF DIAPERS YOU PEON! Stalin forbid if I should wet myself while having to use Hastert's flying station wagon for the time being... that is until I get those monsters in the Pentagon to fetch me my plane. Oh, get me a box of MilkBones also, Lupe needs a treat every once in a while.

H&N A.A.F!

P.S - Don't let me catch you puking either... NO PUKING! This includes you too Meow... NO FREAKIN PUKING!

Premier Betty wrote:Winged Jalopy? Since when did those come with wings?

I thought Pelosi was purged??? Or, maby she had more friends in the Politboro than I thought.

This cannot be!