The People's Cube - Political Satire

IPSWICH, MASSACHUSETTS - Local Education Commissar, David Fabrizio, of the Ipswich Middle School has achieved glorious social victory for students by canceling his school's Honors Night, saying it could be 'devastating' to the students who worked hard, but fell short of the grades. The school is located in the People's Democratic Republic of Massachusetts.

The People's Educational Hero notified parents last week of his plan to eliminate the event.

"The Honors Night, which can be a great sense of pride for the recipients' families, can also be devastating to a child who has worked extremely hard in a difficult class but who, despite growth, has not been able to maintain a high grade-point average."

Fabrizio also said he decided to make the change because academic success can be influenced by the amount of support a student receives at home and not all students receive the same level of emotional and academic support at home.

He also announced that the Ipswich Middle School will now be renamed the Harrison Bergeron Center for Educational Excellence.

In related news, Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid, inspired by this noble action, has introduced legislation to eliminate the Congressional Medal of Honor.

"Not all soldiers have the emotional support of their commanding officers to rise above the challenges of armed combat. They should not be penalized by non-recognition for their exemplary minimal service to the country they serve."

Wonderful news! Perhaps by next year we can persuade the Olympic Committee to give gold medals to all...even the audience!

As a True Progressive who loves the Cube because "no one could lose" in solving it (well, almost* no one), and who likewise loves the "everybody is an honor student" ideal, Nancy Pelosi, in her March Madness** applies that same level of Progressive Compassion to the NCAA by stating that she "[doesn't] want anyboody to lose."

--KOOK
*Al Gore:


**Her "March Madness" is a temporary lapse from her "Ordinary Madness."

PS-- Oldie but Goodie from way back in 2006:

Uh oh - Nancy's face froze again, didn't it?

Somebody could make a lot of money selling Nancy Pelosi cuckoo clocks.

Dedhedvedev wrote:Somebody could make a lot of money selling Nancy Pelosi cuckoo clocks.

As it turns out, you have a large selection of Pelosi clocks.

https://www.cafepress.com/+nancy-pelosi+clocks

All that matters is the equality of equalness and that we are all equal, except of course, those privileged elite amongst ourselves who are above equality.

Note how equal my savings in offshore savings accounts are... this is by design of fairness of equality... and I will stand by that.

Dedhedvedev wrote:Somebody could make a lot of money selling Nancy Pelosi cuckoo clocks.

Comrade; only problem is Peoples Engineers haven't figured out how to stop it from cukooing every second instead of just on the hour and the sequester has cut any additional funding.

I had imagined a life-size full-color bust, modelled after the photo above, with a digital display at the bottom, and the cuckoo popping out of her forehead.

Uh huh, fine. Now what is the Sex Ed Dept. going to do for the twits who can't get laid?

Comrade Pistov wrote:Uh huh, fine. Now what is the Sex Ed Dept. going to do for the twits who can't get laid?

Shhh, no one is supposed to know yet, but in the name of "fairness" the females will have to submit to any male who desires them, like in motorcycle gangs.

Dedhedvedev wrote:

Comrade Pistov wrote:Uh huh, fine. Now what is the Sex Ed Dept. going to do for the twits who can't get laid?

Shhh, no one is supposed to know yet, but in the name of "fairness" the females will have to submit to any male who desires them, like in motorcycle gangs.

Comrade Kraptek, that territory has already been marked...

If only Barry could be my baby daddy, muses Nancy.

the question about THAT biker gang is who rides "bitch??