The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, It is nearly official. In a matter of a few days, 11 year pro, 34 year old Jason "The Brave" Collins, who averaged .2 points per game for 2012-2013, will likely be the starting Center for The Miami Heat. Collins, a grizzly veteran, was shocked after a small purely political innocuous post on his Facebook page a few days ago about being gay, has been offered the starting center position for every NBA team and most European League franchises.

Libya, Iran, North Korea, Immigration, Gun Control, Live Birth Abortions, Welfare, Food Stamps, Deficit, was all ignored again put on the back burner temporarily, as Comrade President Barack Hussein Obama (PBUH) personally called Jason to discuss the inclusion of the entire population of the LGBT collective into all professional sports regardless of talent or experience. Collins and Barack Hussein Obama (PBUH) have started a new task force to accomplish this before the end of his lame duck 2nd term.

According to Miami heat officials, "Regardless of Jason Collins ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC past performance with other NBA teams, we are so excited and giddy about almost having Jason potentially lead us to another championship. Heat owner Micky Arison is reported to have offered Jason Collins a cool $25 million and another $15 million in private stock options for a 3 year contract. "Call me licky lucky," said Arison, "but how can we get Jason so cheap . . . he's got the pen in hand?" Everyone in Miami is in a state of shock a state of euphoria with this potential disaster acquisition, and cannot believe this pathetic loser they might have the "brave" vet on the roster.

FORWARD

Comrade, this post has caused me to come from my lurking to join you in banging my head against the wall until I black out celebrating such a wonderful addition to the team. Such future prospects gained by a subpar and pathetic brave player will inspire many others to use a brand new, fresh out of the box, "race" card to exploit guilt in the NBA for not being played enough come out and stand with him..........


Next stop, NBA handing out participation trophies at the end of the season.

What a blow to my ego I didn't think of that!

Kinda sucks, don't it Comrade Captain?!

I do not see what the 'big deal' is (I admit, I was covering my eyes, but I digress). The gayness ball is nothing new. Why do we think they play basketball if not to......



I think Mr. Jason is seeking more attention or perhaps trolling for more boy pals, but then of course, there "nothing wrong with that".

I am also thinking dear leader may have a softer side he is waiting to expose. First a phone call, then a beer summit, then a "meeting" in the Oral Oval Office..... I am just say'n.