The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dateline Washington DC -

Spokesunits for the Obama Administration confirmed today that the president takes a personal interest in the computer issues experienced by his fellow Americans, and that he frequently convenes a team of experts as an informal "Help Desk" in the Situation Room to personally assist them, often without their even being aware of the intrusion assistance.

Ever jovial spokesbarker Jay "Carney" Carney assured members of the press that, even though their computers may occasionally act a bit strangely, there's no need to worry - the president and his crack(er) team have everything under control, including the personal privacy of the citizens they're helping.

Carney went on to state that many people in our democracy have been helped out by the president and his team over the last few years. Carney said that "Sure, somebody's got to keep an eye on the people's computers, you know, to help keep the anti-virus updated and the disk defragged and such."

Several members of the Associated Press breathed an audible sigh of relief, knowing that not only their phones but also their computers are so tirelessly cared for by our ever-present federal government.

The look of Dear Leader (PBUH) giving strategic direction is truly awe-inspring. I get a good Chris Matthews tingle just looking at this photo imagining what redistribution is being ordered as he speaks.

And look how Joe is coloring within the lines so nicely!

Yes Comrade Tovarichi, and all this from a man who knows nothing!

And I'm not speaking of Comrade Clown Biden.

I'm talking about our beloved One, our President, our Man above all Men - Comrade President Barackzebub Husseinovich Obama!

Yes, he knows nothing, and never did, and isn't even aware that there isn't/wasn't anything to know (although he'd sure be pissed upset if somebody didn't tell him about any of the stuff that never happened!).

Yessir, our Man, the President, mans the Help Desk for his fellow Americans, always checking into their computers/emails/phone records/Facebook accounts, just to see if he can lend a helping hand.

It's amazing, Comrade. Simply amazing.

The Annointed One's "Helpdesk." In the "first-person shooter" games gategory.

Comrade Marx,

You fail to properly credit Dear Leader's computing powers adequately. Here are some images of ONE of his many world-wide Google server farms "help centers". There are other such "help centers" that are, how shall I say this, not acknowledged to exist.

In its continuing effort to be as helpful as possible to all American computer users, the Obama Administration announced today that it has taken especially benevolent steps to assist Sharyl Attkisson at CBS News.

Comrades, you'll be happy - and I'm sure not surprised - to hear that our energy efficient comrades at the NSACIAFBIetc have been remarkably diligent to turn peoples' computers back off after turning them on in the middle of the night in order to assist our citizens with their computer problems.

In a case in point, CBS journalist Sharyl Attkisson (shown in the post above foolishly attempting to locate her missing privacy) said that both her work and personal computers were accessed during her investigations of Fast and Furious and Benghazi, during a period of several months.

I can't help but feel a little tingle up my leg when I ponder how much the Obama Administration cares for its subjects citizens!

To pre-empt any further trouble, download and install "Inner Comrade" thoughtcrime-prevention and self-sensoring app from BarackObama.com - absolutely free, no cables attached.

The helpful Inner Comrade will take residence in your electronic device, advising you on the proper limits of journalistic and intellectual inquiry, which are always subject to change without notice. Always connected to the collective mind of his comrades at BarackObama.com, your Inner Comrade will be the first to know the Current Truth!

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