The People's Cube - Political Satire

Because there is a war on for your mind, Paul Watson writing for infowars.com has revealed a little known secret of modern police training school theory.

“A recent case where a police officer attempted to seize a cell phone by claiming it could be a weapon underscores how cops are now being trained to treat phones as potential guns in an underhanded effort to prevent people from recording police activity.”

San Diego police officer Martin Reinhold told a suspect: “...he'd been trained to assume cell phones could be guns.” Another unidentified officer explained that, “Any object larger than a man's thumbnail may be concealing a firearm. It's simple logic. How big is a 22 caliber short round? Well, it's small enough to fit in the end of a soda straw! See my point?”

Another more seasoned officer discounted these fears. “Personally, I'm more concerned with these 3D printed guns we're hearing about. This means that anything could be a lethal weapon. A woman's lipstick or hairbrush might be a small caliber hand gun printed to look like an innocent cosmetic item. I mean, some guy with a note pad and pencil coming at you too fast could be an attacker. Shoes, pocket watches, a can of Pepsi or a CD case, a gun can be printed to look like anything a criminal wants it to look like. This is scarey stuff!”

What's next? What happens when 3D printers become so advanced that they can print duplicates of themselves! Many officers I spoke with were worried that future development of such “bootleg” printers will lead to widespread underground manufacturing gangs. Hackers, seeking new and more destructive amusements, will begin writing and distributing CAD/CAM software to the printer gangs, who will in turn use this software to print and distribute all manner of disguised weapons.

As one San Francisco police officer noted; “A belt buckle, shoe, earrings, any article of clothing may be a lethal weapon. The time is coming when I'll be forced to arrest any clothed civilian personnel found roaming the streets.”

You may be on to something Capt. Craptek....but what of the Glorious ObamaPhone ™?
Surely Feckless Fearless Leader would never put a weapon in the hands of the proles?

Captain Craptek wrote:What's next? What happens when 3D printers become so advanced that they can print duplicates of themselves! Many officers I spoke with were worried that future development of such “bootleg” printers will lead to widespread underground manufacturing gangs.

Comrade, this is TERRIFYING! Bootleg robot printers under the ground - they could be right under you or me at this very moment! - manufacturing gangs as we speak!! Could this be where all those violent black flash mobs African American street parties are coming from?!?

Comrade ROCK,

Point well taken! I may have been too restrictive in my thinking. We may be looking at something far more sinister than printing guns. Or, maybe not sinister at all. Could they be printing voters? What if flash mobs and other comrades are being printed by aliens living deep in the Earth. Could our Dear Leader be one of those aliens? Shamans and the elders of native Americans will tell you that before these people were able to emerge out of planet earth, they were first brought here by the star-people. These star-gods, according to them and their beliefs, arrived from outer space. Star-Gods? Does this not bring to mind our very own Dear Leader? I must think this through carefully!

You mean you guys don't have the app yet???

Um, it's a phone ... really!

Anyer Marx wrote:Um, it's a phone ... really!

Gun-Phone1.jpg

Sigh. Love me some old fashioned guys!

Does not everyone have a gunnery cell phone? I am keeping my loaded .... but you didn't hear that from me!!!