The People's Cube - Political Satire

The People are often confused about what Republican politicians actually believe while they are in office. Only after they leave office and being out of the spotlight becomes intolerable or the People's Media decides to support the People's Agenda and these politicians are dragged from their rocking chairs and propped up for interviews; only then does their true ideology become clear.

One recent display has been made by Bob Dole on the People's CBS. Was Bob Dole truly a conservative or just plain conservative or even marginally conservative? Did he respect the constitution and was he willing to fight for it as a matter of principle? Or did Bill Clinton mop the 1996 presidential campaign floor with a wet, sloppy Bob Dole who did not really stand for much of anything except his own path to power and prosperity.

The recent true conservative infiltration into government by constitutionally dogmatic incumbents disconcerts our champions on the left and those in the middle who are willing to happily move in either direction to advance their own well being. These new constitutionalists are disparaged as bullies and obstructionists who are destroying the Republican party and the very U.S. government from whom we derive our sustenance and happiness.

To quote Bob:
"I think they ought to put a sign on the [Republican] national committee doors that says 'closed for repairs ..."

"Reagan wouldn't have made it. Certainly Nixon couldn't have made it, because he had ideas,"

"I'm not a critic of the president, but I think one mistake he's made was not getting together more with Congress earlier on, in his first administration,"

It is clear now why Bob lost to Bill. When the only real difference is age and personality why not choose youth and charisma?

But The People must thank Bob for his years of not standing in the way of The People's agenda. We couldn't have done it without you, Bob.

Bob does have a point. Republicans need to come up with ideas. Becoming energy independent by developing our natural resources, what kind of idea is that? Pouring billions into failed ideas on wind and solar, now that is what we are talking about.

I wonder which plague they are releasing in his honor? Legionnaire's?

I couldn't decide. Bob Dole Obama supporter.

Now that we know that Mr. Dole is clearly one of us I hope the plague is gentically engineered not to target him and progressives. I'm so excited! Perhaps we can have a plaque to commemorate the glorious anti-prog pandemic.

Korrection, anti-rethuglikkan pandemic. I can't seem to make corrections with my Obama phone.

Comrade Doktor, with an Obamaphone you a) can't make mistakes, and, b) don't know anything anyway, because you haven't been informed.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Bob Dole is a "Progressive Republican". He exemplifies our progressive comrades on the right, and is at least partly responsible for the "progress" we've made so far. Dole never understood what he was up against in the past, and still doesn't. He is a perfect example of the well intentioned dupe. Not a RINO, not an LIV, and not a turncoat - just a pawn in the Washington political amusement park. We need more like him.

In a perfect world, we'd have John McCain as president and Bob Dole as vice president.

Maybe get Colon Bowel back as Secretary of State again.

Oh my, the things that could be accomplished while the Republican sheep slept through eight glorious years of FORWARD! progress!!

All my ethnic heroes wear the people's cap.

Comrade Dole is truly the back room underhanded style Commissar. Anybody who can plunder $26,000,000,000 in Real Earnings from the U.S. Postal Service and use it to Capitalize the ethanol program the People are forced to pay for every time We fill up is not a man to be trifled with. Who says Statism can't work?
FORWARD! But your mileage will never be as good as it used was.

Comrade Pistov wrote: FORWARD! But your mileage will never be as good as it used was.

And neither will your engines, Comrade, especially the little ones. If you listen closely you can almost hear the ethanol eroding their tiny little seals.

But that just means more jobs for our illegal aliens undocumented workers customers!

And it raises the price of corn, but hey - it's all Monsanto synthetic corn anyway, so we probably shouldn't be eating as much of it.

I see Capt. Craptek is on board to do some nut wrangling. All is well, comrades.