The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

The Directorate for Public Communication and Indoctrination of the White Fortress has announced that of Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama has invited, in the spirit of Internationalism and Brotherly Love, advisors from Papua New Guinea to assist Democratic Socialist lawmakers in the People's Congress to draft new legislation criminalizing Capitalism.

Papua New Guinea's proto-socialism has become an inspiration to Comrade Obama and other Progressives in their prosecution of Kulaks and other Capitalists through anti-witchcraft laws that have effectively put down class inequality in the island country. Citizens enjoy evenly-distributed lifestyles as subsistence farmers, not unlike the vision of Karl Mark for Communism as the final stage of social development.

The trend of turning to international sources for American programs began with the Supreme People's Court, which has routinely used international law to craft rulings in it decisions. As this pattern has developed, the workers and peasants of the USSA can now benefit from the superior knowledge and experience of more advanced Socialist states.

While the average citizen of the USSA has been properly educated to not believe in such things as witchcraft and Christianity, the witchcraft laws in Papua New Guinea can be seen as a metaphor for unfair economic policies and other obscure notions, such as ‘cause-and-effect.' In essence, ideas and concepts which are not politically correct, as defined by the Party, are effectually ‘witchcraft' in the broader sense of the word.

Witchcraft represents all that is non-conformist and harmful to the community. Therefore, witchcraft demands a communal response not unlike the response of the Masses in Papua New Guinea to the discovery of wealth hoarding amongst a few Kulaks.

Comrade Obama has been particularly pleased with the People of Papua New Guinea for their heroism and devotion to the prevention of a neo-Bourgeoisie class from arising in their idyllic Socialist land. By enforcing equality, they can continue to enjoy the prosperity and peace that they secured after their valiant struggle for independence from Australia and British colonialism. Our Glorious Leader's own grandfather suffering in this same struggle in Kenya, and B. B. Obama sees in the Proletariat of Papua New Guinea not only the fulfillment of the Dream of His Fathers, but the future of the USSA!

We welcome the advisers from Papua New Guinea! Comrades, help America stomp out Capitalism with anti-witchcraft laws!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Well, "double, double, profit means Growth. And we can't have that. Some son of a worker might accumulate enough beets to ask the daughter of an Inner Party member for a date.

Party approved rich witches excepted I presume. Kinda like the "Affordable" Health Panels Act?

Comrades, seeing our dear Nanski Peloski riding her shovel is a GLORIOUS thing, is it not?

Comrades,

In Arthur C. Clark's novel "Against the Fall of Night", the human race regressed after a full billion years of civilization, and faces remnants of past glories such as roadways. Physical possibilities are inexplicable from their perspective. ( link )

Also, Clark's "third law", Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Combining these thoughts, as Dear Leader has doubtless done, can lead to many useful strategies for furthering our aims. Think on this carefully, comrades. (but, avoid all Thought-Crimes™ in the process! NSA is watching)

Hmm…

I read the referred article with great alacrity.

So…“… a swarm of fire flies apparently led witch hunters to Rumbali's home… indicating the guilty party in a murder investigation? The science seems quite plausible.

Indeed, it is just as plausible as to accept the proven science that man's carbon dioxide emissions – which account for 1/100th of a percent of earth's entire atmosphere – are the cause of our impending doom!

With that in mind, I am applying for a government grant from the DOSJ to breed “pre-crime” detecting fire flies to detect “bitter clingers” who seek to subvert Dear Reader's (AP&PBUH) fundamental transformation initiatives.

We had sunk a few billion into training fleas and lice to detect seditious activities worthy of criminal prosecution. They proved a dismal failure – the fleas and lice kept flocking to “Occupy Wall Street” demonstrations. Clearly, our hypothesis was well off the mark.

For reasons I am not at liberty to discuss, we also ditched a similar program for the Treasury Department involving bees and flies in the detection of document forgers, confidence men and other perpetrators of extortion and racketeering.


Suffice to say THAT program was also an abysmal failure…(fortunately, I was not required to remit the grant money).

But the fire flies appear MOST promising.

Comrade Emmanual,

We here at "Treetop Observation Post 23" find that following fire flies has been less illuminating than anticipated. However, following the devices shown below produces some amazing results!

The manual Dear Leader and friends are using is available. Read here the sacred text! "Malleus Malleficarum", otherwise known as DSM-0.https://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/mm/

Comrade Kelly,

You have located the foundational text of The Rethuglikkkan War on Womyn! How illuminating!