The People's Cube - Political Satire

Barack O'Farmer: Secret Service drive TRACTORS to guard the President at G8 summit in Northern Ireland

Ever the smartest man in the room, Dear Leader (PBUH) has wisely purchased a fleet of security tractors for his protection while in Northern Carolina Dakota Ireland. These can be re-used and recycled when forced to visit red-state <spit> flyover country when temporarily and oh-so briefly showing how much he cares after a disaster such as a fertilizer plant explosion destroying a small town, or tornado touchdown area in a major metropolitan area. (FEMA money is for blue state voters, but it's the thought that counts!)

As a Uniter, and not a divider, a man of the people, these tractors appear to be just like any other tractor used by "big agriculture."

HOWEVER, because Dear Leader is who he is, and possibly someone else; these tractors have been specially designed (is Q branch under a contract?) with bulletproof glass, ejector seats, machine guns, smoke screens, satellite radio, prostitute location devices, choom dispensers, golf bag racks, and thermal target identification.

It's just a tractor... nothing to see here. Move along.

Comrade Tovarich of Texasistan,

You forgot to mention the tractor's power fertilizer spreader .... flinger device.

By the way, it's summer .... got any Lone Stars on ice ?

Apparently Comrade Vice President Biden kept whining until they finally got him one too.

Oh, and pass me a Lone Star, would you?

Krasnodar wrote:By the way, it's summer .... got any Lone Stars on ice ?

Krasno! For the love of Putin, where have you been? I'd imagine that after the duration of this "vacation" at Gulag, you'd not want to see anything to do with ice, but yes comrade the National Beer of Texas is properly supervised and at proper serving temperature at all times! Much like the pilgrimage to Mecca that our Mooslim comrades make, I was fortunate enough to make the pilgrimage to the Lone Star Brewery in San Antonio. It was truly glorious, especially the "hospitality room."

I'll even extort extra rations and share with R.O.C.K. (if he knows any Willie...otherwise, it's BYOB for him.)

[color=#C0392B]Tovarichi[/color] wrote:I'll even extort extra rations and share with R.O.C.K. (if he knows any Willie...otherwise, it's BYOB for him.)

...and Joe is rounding up the ladies as you type!

May, was that clip improperly copied from "Farm-girls Gone Wild?"

I can't seem to remember that scene...