In an unexpected move, the sun has switched parties from Democrat to Republican, causing many coming home from the G8 summit and elsewhere to utter shouts of "traitor!" and "unfair!" at the sky above, after American president Barackzebub Husseinovich Obama stuttered and stammered during his speech in Berlin because the late afternoon sun prevented him from seeing the teleprompter and so "his usual dramatic windup was ruined."
Formerly, the sun - a Gaia-favored Democrat - was considered liberal in virtually every possible way, and even progressive in some.
"Yeah, the sun - it's always favored progressive causes," noted New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg as he paused briefly in his search for things to ban; New York senator Charles Schumer was in agreement: "The sun has always been a Democrat, no question about it," he stated as he climbed into his limousine.
Former vice president Algore™ paused for a moment during his busy green schedule to suggest that, "With all the Teabaggers claiming that the sun actually causes cycles in heating and cooling on the planet earth - a ridiculous notion on its face - it's possible that the sun appreciated the attention from them and switched sides."
Algore™ then closed the door to his private business jet as the pilot prepared for takeoff to head for the 137th stop during his worldwide "Save the Earth from Global Warming Caused by Carbon Emissions" tour.
6/19/2013, 4:08 pm
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein
This is the explanation why it is so freakn hot and smells like burned rubber!! WHY HAS NOT DEAR LEADER FIXED THIS ALONG WITH RISING SEA LEVELS???!!!
6/19/2013, 4:59 pm
Comrade Pistov
I dare say, the band at the next GOP Convention will play There'll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight with real gusto.
6/19/2013, 5:58 pm
Commissarka Pinkie
Now we know why all those solar companies failed in Obama's last term. And all this time I thought it was because they didn't get enough stimulus money.
6/19/2013, 9:21 pm
Red Square
If you can't blame Bush, blame the sun...
6/19/2013, 9:35 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Wait - wait - if WE blame the sun for Comrade President's stuttering and stammering, and the Rethuglikkkans blame the sun for Global Warming™ - is it possible that it really IS all the sun's fault and not Bush's?
I get so confused...
6/19/2013, 9:57 pm
trashmouth
Awe, there ya go, nothing but a bunch of reight wing bullies who just can't resist throwing mud in dear leader's face as he basks in the warmth and glow of official stardom
I guess solar power is now verbotten as well... Thank Gaia wind is still Democrat. As Nancy explained, they have to pass it to know what's in it.
6/19/2013, 11:49 pm
Captain Craptek
Opiate of the People wrote:I guess solar power is now verbotten as well... Thank Gaia wind is still Democrat. As Nancy explained, they have to pass it to know what's in it.
And that will never pass the smell test.
6/20/2013, 7:54 pm
Red Square
A People's Cube reader named "Martha" sent me this email:
Dear Red Square,
I laughed while reading how the sun has switched sides. It reminded me of that “wonderful” play/opera/musical VICTORY OVER THE SUN by Kazimir Malevich, from the early part of the last century. Perhaps you or one of your brilliant* contributors can find it on YouTube. I remember seeing a short film clip of a scene. I think it was done by a theatre group in Virginia.
I love your site and view it daily.
VICTORY OVER THE SUN was created by Kazimir Malevich in 1913, before the revolution. It is the only existing futuristic opera. This is where Malevich's 'black square' was first displayed.
I couldn't find the American production, but here's one made in Russia.
A brief clip from a contemporary reconstruction of one of either two productions: Victory Over the Sun, or Mystery Bouffe. Russian Painter Kazimir Malevich created the costumes and sets for both stage-shows, and both premiered in Saint Petersburg, the former in 1913 and the latter five years later. Vladimir Mayakovsky wrote the script for Bouffe.
6/21/2013, 2:35 pm
Komrade Katz
Does this mean we now have to say that the sun rises on the Right and sets on the Left?
