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6/20/2013, 11:52 am
Kommissar Brainiac
Fire investigators today have determined that an inordinate amount of political hot air is to blame for the worst fires in Colorado history that ravaged several areas in the last few years.
It was not a coincidence that politicians have been blowing more hot air than usual - and, combined with drought conditions, this has created unusually high fire risks.
In addition, the efforts to recall two Colorado State senators have been especially heated, which may be responsible for smaller fires in Colorado Springs and nearby Pueblo.
One Pueblo resident claimed their state senator "has been definitely blowing a lot of smoke lately" in reference to her defense of being recalled. "This is not good during fire season".
Politicians are hereby reminded to keep their mouths shut during fire season and near any flammable materials. This applies not only to Colorado, but all the western states until drought conditions subside.
The conclusions of fire investigators have caused protests among many professional politicians, who are claiming that political hot air is a necessary tool of their trade and also demanding an exemption, so they can continue to use smoke and mirrors in areas of high fire risk.
6/20/2013, 2:42 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
This is now especially important, since the sun recently switched to the Rethuglikkkan party. While it's true that many in Colorado who cling to their guns and their religion have left or will be leaving since the state passed Reasonable Gun Control, I have it on fairly reliable authority that the sun isn't planning on leaving until at least after the summer is over.
6/21/2013, 8:36 pm
Red Walrus
Agreed Comrade R.O.C.K., The Sun switched to The Rethuglikans and also decided to become a racist to boot.
6/22/2013, 12:15 am
Captain Craptek
Senator Craptek Expounds!
6/28/2013, 7:38 pm
Pamalinsky
I noticed that Comrade Oleander deemed the town of West, Texas, not elligible for aid, just because he could. The whole city was decimated. This accelerates uniformly his punishment of those who don't agree with him. Ah, yes! Forward! That's the way to a perfect utopia!
Yes! We will punish those who don't agree with us. Punish, punish, punish!
