The People's Cube - Political Satire

As typical of the evil hated kapitalist Republikkkans, the Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist has signed a bill into law that would restrict the rights of the citizenry even further.

This new legislation abuses the newly reformed persons coming out of our state run adult re-education centers by restricting their right to self expression. The ACLU and Amnesty International are expected to sue the beejeebus out of everyone in Florida for this horrendous transgression on individual liberty.

An ACLU spokesman fumed on the steps of the State Capital, "This legislation is an affront to peace loving peoples everywhere as it restricts freedoms of expression based on profiling of those who are reformed by the wonderful adult re-education centers in America. It also makes puppies cry. Do you like making puppies cry? I certainly don't."

In this Age of Enlightenment, in which the Party controls Congress, it seems that there are still some backward, out of touch, unenlightened, bourgeois, puppy hating people running rampant in Amerikkka, some even hold positions of power which is of course illegal as all positions of power rightly belong to the Party. As devout Party members we must collectively (is there any other way) drag these unenlightened kapitalists bourgeois scum kicking and screaming to the re-education centers, preferably in the middle of the night, so that they may become productive members of the Party.

Puppies? I thought hippies liked kittens. That's how they all grow up to become creepy cat ladies. (Yes, even the men too.)

Comrade O'Brien, I offer my sympathies. Being a resident of Ohio, I know all too well how horrible the RepubliKKKans can be- the fascists ran the state government for sixteen years. However, since the glorious uprising by dead voters in the Revolution in November, the Party controls Ohio just as they now control Congress. Just the other day the Party's own Governor-Premier Strickland issued his plans for a Great Leap Forward. The Party here is full of progressive ideas. We all know how the evil BusHaliburtonHitler supporters rigged elections in Ohio by denying the dead the right to vote. Fortunately, our new Secretary of State, a faithful Party member, has vowed to push for strong voting reform to ensure everyone can vote freely, once, twice, or however many times.

Comrade Branish,
I am not myself a resident of Florida, I currently reside in that bastion...nay, dare i say, shining beacon of progessiveness, The People's State of Illinois. I try to keep everyone up to date on all the goings on across Amerikkka as they all impact The Party, good or bad. Report more local issues, closer to The Peoples State of Illinois, on the official [shameless plug] Ministry of Truth [/shameless plug] website.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

O'Brien wrote:Comrade Branish,
I am not myself a resident of Florida, I currently reside in that bastion...nay, dare i say, shining beacon of progessiveness, The People's State of Illinois.

My apologies, Comrade O'Brien. By your post I was under the impression you were a resident of that capitalist state of FL. All for the best...I hear that global warming is so bad in FL that it is always warm there. By the way comrade, I have visited your MOT blog, and it is glorious. What is your opinion of your senators, especially Obama, who our comrades in the media and the elite are hailing as the true messiah?

Yes, Comrade O'Brien... please, enlighten us on your "opinion" of Obama (I warn you, comrade, the KGB is watching and they bugged all the Party whores, use caution when formulating an opinion).

We in the Party can be happy that this horrible bill was introduced when it was because there is time to get it overturned before we need the services of these enforcers during the primary season. Imagine if this bill had been introduced in November of 2000! Comrade Gore would not have been able to make a claim to the presidency! If we hadn't had our goon squads terrorizing people in military counties he would have lost by 15% and we couldn't nearly have stolen the election.

Think of the worries that that would have caused <i>The New York Times</i>! And Daley could have been left in Chicago to terrorize the wards. Let us be thankful that it happened now as Comrade Peloski and Barry Obama are distracting attention while we arrange for campaign contributions to law makers to get our social workers back on the street.