The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

The Chief Commissar of the Department of Collectivized Housing and Urban Development has announced that all US housing will be examined neighborhood by neighborhood for proper racial balance. In neighborhoods with racial imbalances, the Department will order mandatory relocation orders to achieve racial equality in all USSA residential areas.

The Department stated that their housing inventory data program is for "helping people gain access to different neighborhoods and channeling investments into under-served areas." This access requires that certain citizens be evacuated so that citizens of a different race can be resettled to achieve the Party's goal of Social Justice through the equality of housing.

Comrade Commissar Shuan Donovan Acknowledged that his Department was originally created by the Bourgeoisie to oppress the workers and peasants of the USSA, saying "With the HUD budget alone, we are talking about billions of dollars. And as you know, decades ago, these funds were used to support discrimination. Now, they will be used to expand opportunity and bring communities closer to the American Dream.”

However, now that the Party has achieved supremacy in American society, this reactionary estate can be turned towards the goal redistribution of the People's Wealth for the good of the entire Proletariat.

In preparation for possible relocation, citizens in racially unbalanced cities and suburban zones are advised to begin packing essential items. Furniture and other belongings one cannot carry without assistance can be left in the home for the new occupants. When CHUD commissars knock at your door, be prepared to present identification and evacuate in 15 minutes.

Equal housing means racial balance! Let us all share in the joys of racially-equalized neighborhoods through State management!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

It's a beautiful thing, comrades!

And from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs, via the 1%!!

We deserve desegregation busing to equalize neighborhoods similar to our glorious school desegregation. How fair is it that some people live in beautiful suburban communities and others live in Detroit?

I suggest a lottery like we had during the Vietnam draft days. We could means test and those who have unfairly won life's lottery will be required by the Community Equalization Commission's lottery to move to Detroit. A hard working Detroit family forced to live in squalled poverty through no fault of their own, could then relocate in a suburban paradise. Redistribution should know no limits.

Churches should respond positively under the "first shall be last" and "give him your cloak also" teachings. We might need to restrict any in depth teaching on this theology but current Biblical understanding may be sufficiently shallow as to avoid restrictions.

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Captain Craptek is always prepared for the worse and the best...
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Despair not, Comrade!

The day will come that when collectivization is complete, so that when you see a maroon awning, you will know that only someone who deserves one will have one, because the Party will choose for everyone what they will have, and only let them have what the Party determines is proper for them and for you.

Putin on the Ritz wrote:I'm very upset today! I will need to speak with my local Health and Human Services representative. Dimitri Tupolovich that has the Penthouse in the top right building has a maroon awning. I have no maroon awning. Why does he get a maroon awning?

Aw gee, I'm white and I live in a nice neighborhood that's mostly black. Does this mean a bunch of creepy-@** crackas are going to be relocated to my neighborhood for balance? Oh, well, for the good of the Collective, I will stay and be Hero.

The Clever Comrade Putout wrote:.
Captain Craptek is always prepared for the wors(t) and the best...
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A loyal party member obeys the wishes of his betters leader.

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Equal redistribution of good neighborhoods for all!

Comrade Lilly Tomlin was on regressive rethugrakin Howie Carr's show yesterday. When kapitalist pig Carr tried to trap her by asking about Detroit, Comrade Ernestine snorted derisively at Mr. Carr's attempt at rhetorical trickery and informed him that the city's perils are due to evil suburban dwellers who sought refuge in homogeneous neighborhoods away from blacks.

The glorious leader will no doubt soon send DHS "vehicles" to return those selfish suburbanites back to the city where the fruits of their labor, distributed fairly, will rescue Detroit from the brink and restore it to Potemkin glory.