7/25/2013, 3:52 pm
At the direction of our Glorious Leader and Supreme Commander in Chief of the People's Army of the USSA, Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama, the Armed Security Forces will soon be equipped with ‘green bullets' in the interests Environmental Justice and to help women make their full transition into combat units.
Scientists have been working on a new formula for bullets, which Capitalists and the decadent Bourgeoisie have traditionally made from lead coated with copper. These ‘Full Metal Jacket' bullets not only fill the battlefield with unnatural lead fragments which the Earth cannot digest, but are heavy and unpleasant. The new ‘green bullets' will be made from compressed plant fibers, which will quickly decompose soon after firing, producing a fragrant aroma that recent studies of show women prefer to the old smells of combat.
Comrade Obama has already authorized production of his favorite flavor of bullet, Arugula Salad with Crumbled Feta.
While some have made comments about turning the Army's standard rifle, the M4, into a ‘Salad Shooter,' loyal citizens recognize the patriotic duty of every USSA soldier to defend the Motherland with ammunition that both protects the State and the Environment.
Now that female soldiers are permitted to enter into combat units, the People's Army will make arrangements to accommodate their special needs in order to recognize their equality to men.
Engineers have said they are working on remedying the reduced stopping power of the new bullet. To compensate for the abridged effectiveness of the new rounds, troops will receive special instruction cards with contact information for services they may need to help cope with additional combat stress.
Green bullets are the environmentally responsible way to protect the State! Preserve the Environment and Social Progress with One Bullet!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
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