8/4/2013, 4:06 pm
Comrades, comrades - the American media is trying to stir up fear again, about a significant terrorist threat, but we know better. President B. Husseinovich Obama has assured us repeatedly for years now that Al Qaeda has been defeated, due to our electing him as our Dear Leader - twice!
Sure, once in a while some idiot will do something stupid like make a movie that makes fun of Muhammad, and of course the Mislooms get all stirred up - can you blame them? But that was OUR fault, not theirs. And our President has been celebrating the start of Ramadan with Mislooms, sending tanks and fighter planes and now attack ships to Egypt - why would Al Qaeda have anything against us at this point?
I mean, come on - would our President be off at Camp David playing golf if there was any chance of terrorism actually occurring? No, of course not - and he left people in control in his absence that know how to contact him if necessary, say, if a city gets blown up or anything. Which would never happen, since there is no more terrorist threat.
We need to just relax, and do our best to emulate our President. True, most of us can't afford to take ten or twelve vacations a year that cost tens of millions of dollars each, but we can certainly take an hour or two off from working in the beet fields every once in a while. After all, we're safe now, what with the CIA and NSA keeping a close watch on everything anybody says or does, and with our health now being assured due to the implementation of Obamacare.
What do we have to worry about?
Relax, comrades - it's a glorious time to be alive in the USSA, and we're safe, secure, and protected.
Sure, once in a while some idiot will do something stupid like make a movie that makes fun of Muhammad, and of course the Mislooms get all stirred up - can you blame them? But that was OUR fault, not theirs. And our President has been celebrating the start of Ramadan with Mislooms, sending tanks and fighter planes and now attack ships to Egypt - why would Al Qaeda have anything against us at this point?
I mean, come on - would our President be off at Camp David playing golf if there was any chance of terrorism actually occurring? No, of course not - and he left people in control in his absence that know how to contact him if necessary, say, if a city gets blown up or anything. Which would never happen, since there is no more terrorist threat.
We need to just relax, and do our best to emulate our President. True, most of us can't afford to take ten or twelve vacations a year that cost tens of millions of dollars each, but we can certainly take an hour or two off from working in the beet fields every once in a while. After all, we're safe now, what with the CIA and NSA keeping a close watch on everything anybody says or does, and with our health now being assured due to the implementation of Obamacare.
What do we have to worry about?
Relax, comrades - it's a glorious time to be alive in the USSA, and we're safe, secure, and protected.