The People's Cube - Political Satire

**8/6/2013, 10:02 am**

White House spokesman, Jay Carney, announced today that all investigations into the alleged scandals of the Obama administration have been terminated due to a lack of evidence.

The unexpected announcement prompted an arrogant FOX News reporter to ask, “What happened to the evidence?”

After the indignant boos and hisses from other reporters died down, Carney indulged the insulting insinuation with a gracious smile and answered, “All the documents related to Fast and Furious, the Benghazi episode, and IRS, uh, investigations of dangerous extremist groups were all stored on Eric Holder's computer. Unfortunately, he moved all the files to Windows Photo Gallery, and wouldn't you know it? They all got mysteriously deleted.”

Undeterred, the obnoxious reporter pressed on with, “Why did you store sensitive documents on a program known to delete information without warning?” Once the groans of the press corps diminished, Mr. Carney rolled his eyes but recovered his composure. “First,” said Carney, “I would remind you that early editions of Photo Gallery came out during the previous administration, so it's not our fault it destroys data.”

Carney was obliged to raise his voice to be heard over the growing crescendo of cheers and hoots from various media stenographers. “Secondly, none of these incidents were even real scandals in the first place; they were the result of this president doing his utmost to protect Americans from being overrun by racist, hate mongering homophobes in the TEA Party!”

No more irrelevant and threatening questions were raised about the missing data once the offending reporter was escorted from the room by the Secret Service. The briefing concluded with Carney deftly fielding questions about how the president was improving his handicap and enjoying his new hobby of trap and skeet shooting.

**8/6/2013, 11:08 am**

Comrade, the People want to know: What did the First Family have for dinner last night?

**8/6/2013, 11:20 am**

The Most Equal and Deserving Family enjoyed a humble dish of steak and lobster along with the finest wines available, not out of a bourgeois craving for luxury, but as a subtle means of drawing attention to the plight of livestock farmers and the threat to marine life posed by Dick Cheney.

This is, of course, why you and I and the rest of the fruited collective had beets and distilled tractor fuel for dinner last night. We simply do not have the requisite compassion or erudition that would entitle us to a more equal meal. Thank Lenin that we have Dear Leader who amply compensates for our deficiencies.

**8/6/2013, 12:15 pm**

How can the government discontinue what it never started? Or am I asking the wrong question? Why should things that allegedly never were, ever be? Such was once reflected in an musical play titled, The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd. Poor Comrade Cocky just didn't get it, nor shall we.

**8/6/2013, 12:22 pm**

Comrade, you have underscored the importance of realizing the Current Truth™. What was true was Old Truth™, what is true is the Current Truth™, and what will be true is subject to HopeTruth™ and ChangeTruth™ without notice. If not for the Current Truth™, we could be charged with all manner of contradictions, but with the Current Truth™ we simply imprison anyone who doesn't get it.

**8/6/2013, 1:10 pm**

WELL, IT IS ABOUT TIME. How much time should be wasted on phoney scandals that were phoney and not scandals, I ask? What would we do without our Obfuscater In Chief, Jay 'the blarney' Carney.

**8/6/2013, 1:22 pm**

How true! The real scandal is sequestration which has led to the defunding of the Blogunov Foundation for Disabled Minority Kittens. Heartless Repugnantcans.

**8/6/2013, 3:36 pm**

Komissar Blogunov wrote:
Comrade, you have underscored the importance of realizing the Current Truth™. What was true was Old Truth™, what is true is the Current Truth™, and what will be true is subject to HopeTruth™ and ChangeTruth™ without notice. If not for the Current Truth™, we could be charged with all manner of contradictions, but with the Current Truth™ we simply imprison anyone who doesn't get it.

Ain't that the truth....

**8/6/2013, 3:40 pm**

Komissar Blogunov wrote:
How true! The real scandal is sequestration which has led to the defunding of the Blogunov Foundation for Disabled Minority Kittens. Heartless Repugnantcans.

**8/6/2013, 4:13 pm**

Of course I would take that poor feline into one of my humble beachfront dachas, but, alas, with sequestration I can barely afford the nightly entertainment, sunset cruises, and offshore fireworks.

**8/6/2013, 4:48 pm**

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Comrades - some 'phoney' scandals are real!

**8/6/2013, 10:28 pm**

**8/6/2013, 11:55 pm**

and just WHEN did George Bush grow a moustache?

**8/7/2013, 9:30 am**

That's not Bush, Comrade.

**8/7/2013, 11:42 am**

Then why do we wear t-shirts that say "LICK BUSH" ?

**8/7/2013, 11:53 am**

I hope [color=#C0392B]Komissar Blogunov[/color] believed me when I wrote:I must apologize for the way my 'friends' hijacked your thread and my image! I have contacted Red Square about this injustice!!!
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**8/7/2013, 12:14 pm**

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**8/7/2013, 12:38 pm**

[color=#C0392B]Tovarichi[/color] inanely commented when he wrote:Then why do we wear t-shirts that say "LICK BUSH"?

Exactly... why do you?!

**8/7/2013, 1:18 pm**

[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] was displaying great foresight when he wrote:Damn squirrels!

Damn squirrels indeed, sir!

**8/7/2013, 2:34 pm**

Tovarichi wrote:Then why do we wear t-shirts that say "LICK BUSH" ?

Just sayin'...

**8/7/2013, 4:47 pm**

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**8/7/2013, 9:46 pm**

We now return this thread to your regularly scheduled Disabled Minority Kittens...

**8/8/2013, 1:57 am**

Comrade Putout wrote:.
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pbr-Vladimir.png

HEY! I thought that was supposed to be "our little secret". If Miz Scratchanitch sees that, I am a dead comrade.

**8/8/2013, 10:09 am**

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:
kitten.jpg
We now return this thread to your regularly scheduled Disabled Minority Kittens...

Indeed Comrade ROCK, I do my best to keep my posts collective friendly. Let us return the discussion to disabled minority kittens to focus public anger on sequestration, and to divert attention away from Scratchanitch's newly admitted scandal - which isn't really a scandal that could potentially bring down the Cube. No, nothing like that.

**8/8/2013, 10:14 am**

Comrade Putout wrote:
I hope [color=#C0392B]Komissar Blogunov[/color] believed me when I wrote:I must apologize for the way my 'friends' hijacked your thread and my image! I have contacted Red Square about this injustice!!!
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pbr-ROCK.png

Thank you, Comrade Putout. The need for reeducation never ends, but for now I am in a mood to grant clemency.

**8/8/2013, 12:18 pm**

Komissar Blogunov wrote:...Indeed Comrade ROCK, I do my best to keep my posts collective friendly. Let us return the discussion to disabled minority kittens to focus public anger on sequestration, and to divert attention away from Scratchanitch's newly admitted scandal - which isn't really a scandal that could potentially bring down the Cube. No, nothing like that.

Did I do that? Oh silly me.

**8/8/2013, 4:31 pm**

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:
Komissar Blogunov wrote:...Indeed Comrade ROCK, I do my best to keep my posts collective friendly. Let us return the discussion to disabled minority kittens to focus public anger on sequestration, and to divert attention away from Scratchanitch's newly admitted scandal - which isn't really a scandal that could potentially bring down the Cube. No, nothing like that.
Did I do that? Oh silly me.

fault-blame_plain_lg.png

Not a problem, comrade. I just moved all your files to Windows Photo Gallery, so they'll be gone in no time.

**8/8/2013, 5:07 pm**

Komissar Blogunov wrote:Not a problem, comrade. I just moved all your files to Windows Photo Gallery, so they'll be gone in no time.

**Warning**Warning**Warning**

Mz Scratchanitch seen it. Hell hath no fury like Mz Scratchanitch on a royal tirade.

Mz. Scratchanitch is a Pro Se legal genius, specializing in frivolous litigation, and she keeps copies of EVERYTHING.

We are doomed for eternity.

**8/9/2013, 7:48 am**

Well, in that case, comrade, I'm compelled to denounce you. I mean, no hard feelings or anything, it's strictly business.

I DENOUNCE FORMER COMRADE SCRATCHANITCH!

**8/9/2013, 9:54 am**

Komissar Blogunov wrote:
Well, in that case, comrade, I'm compelled to denounce you. I mean, no hard feelings or anything, it's strictly business.

I DENOUNCE FORMER COMRADE SCRATCHANITCH!

.... and THAT, once again, would be the STORY OF MY LIFE. (See my HUGE graphic about THAT in one of my messages above)

The People's Cube - Political Satire

White House Terminates Scandal Probes: Evidence Deleted