The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades,

Comrade Commissar General Eric Holder of the Department of Social Justice has announced to collectivization of Apple Corporations “iTunes,” which will henceforth be known as the “People's Music Collective.”

Having been found guilty of hoarding and Capitalist monopolization of electronic recordings of music, the Manhattangrad District People's Court found Apple guilty of possessing the Means of Production of electronic music, which rightly belong to the Proletariat. Therefore, the Department is the proper authority to administer all electronic music and iTunes has been repossessed from the hands of the greedy Bourgeoisie.

Citizens in possession of state-issued iPod players will soon benefit from the Party's supervision of the former iTunes program. The Department is forming a new Directorate for Music Equality, to ensure all citizens receive their fair share of the People's Music. Henceforth, the Party will assign all citizens proper Playlists, factoring in their needs for political formation in addition to any special needs due to minority or victim-class status.

In addition, using newly developed technologies from the National Socialist Security Administration's PRISM program, all iPods can be remotely accessed by State security organs to check on the well-being of users and to ensure that they are operating their iPods in a safe and appropriate matter. Citizens who are underutilizing their iPods, or found to be operating them in a manner inconsistent with party directives, will receive special instruction from the Federal Bureau of Investigation of Citizens' Committee for Music Policy Enforcement.

Citizens can also expect lots of new, Party-mandated music to help them in their political indoctrination. These will be automatically assigned to playlists and will supersede manual overrides to guarantee their being heard by iPod users.

A special commission under the Department of Mandatory Health and Human Services is investigating the possibility that, by including special audio instructions on the benefits of State healthcare, that all citizens will be entitled to iPods under Obamacare legislation and issued free ones to meet their educational needs.

All music is the People's Music! Free iPods for the Working Class!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Glorious news!

The capitalist sharks have had their day. The problem of music production has been solved and all that remains is the problem of distribution. Capitalism can never solve the problem of fair distribution. I have personal experience with this. The capitalist system has never allowed my revolutionary music group, Comrade Otis and the Soviet Socialist Marching Harmonica Army Band, it's proper place as the most successful band and vanguard of proper American music.

Comrade Holder promises to correct this. Soon, what the capitalist shark marketplace would never allow will be all you will hear!

To make all things fair, Apple Inc. is also under orders from the Department of Social Justice to complement their famous "Mac Bible" with "Mac Quran."

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And don't forget to acquire iStalin: FREE Communist Posters for the People's iPhone

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All can be easily downloaded using this state-issued ethernet cable:

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