The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dateline Washington DC -

The Obama Administration announced today that, with the assistance of scientists at the NSA, Google, Twitter, MIT, Facebook, Apple, IBM, Cray Computing, and Mattel, they are now able to bug virtually everything.

"Surveillance is no longer an issue in the USSA," barked Jay "Carney" Carney, "and we can now utilize technology to include surveillance devices in pretty much everything there is, for the security and safety of all Americans."

After a long round of applause from the press, Carney specified that the administration will be overseeing installation of the listening devices and cameras "into everything from your refrigerator to your bed to the dirt in your back yard - and with no need for unsightly TV screens as portrayed in that Teabagger movie "1984", although we'll be bugging your TVs too".

Clarifying again that the new level of surveillance is strictly for everyone's benefit, Carney referenced the newly-passed "Safety and Security Act of 2013", which passed both the House and the Senate with only Rand Paul and Ted Cruz voting "No", and which was just signed into law by the president.

"In addition," Carney added, "now that the Safety and Security Act is the law of the land, the president will be adding some additional tweaks and improvements to it, by Executive Order, much like he was able to do when he put off Obamacare's "employer mandate" for a year. As an earlier administration's advisor once said, "Stroke of the pen, law of the land - kinda cool, huh?""

Assuming that the Safety and Security Act has an enforcement provision, I propose the following badge for the enforcers ... unless, of course, the idea has already been taken by the NSA, DHS, IRS, CIA, FBI ... or Barry's personal bodyguard.

I'm thinking it's a theme deserving of development, Comrade Marx!

Everything is Bugged! Or, should I say Buggered?

I know this is true because the NYC Department of Health Building is infested with bed bugs. Infested! Ewe!

According to local reports, the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene headquarters, which cost taxpayers $316 million, is overrun by bed bugs. The building is 21 floors, and five of those are home to a bed bug infestation. That's no shock, since the city itself has been ranked the worst in the nation when it comes to bed bugs.

There are other sites so inflicted.

Here's the link:

https://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/08/06/NYC-health-department-bed-bugs

I believe all bed bugs are blood suckers. That is my understanding.

Pamalinsky wrote:I believe all bed bugs are blood suckers. That is my understanding.

Does that mean they get government pensions?

Yes, Ms Diaperette, I believe it does.

Which brings me to my point: bed bugs are a minority, and should be treated as such.

Decades ago, stupid capitalists nearly eliminated all bed bugs, at least in the USSA, with that evil (and now banned) pesticide, DDT. Since DDT was eliminated, due to the imminent probability of a Silent Spring (no relation to the Arab Spring), bed bugs are returning with a vengeance. Many/most universities and many large hotels deal with them constantly. Thank Lenin we got rid of DDT, so our tiny comrades have a fighting chance!

In a similar vein, speaking of blood suckers, innocent mosquitoes were also nearly vanquished from the planet, especially in places where they cause malaria (which does the excellent and needed job of keeping the human population under control!).

It's estimated that since DDT was banned there have been approximately 30 million human deaths from malaria, world-wide, which would have been prevented had DDT not been banned.

That number is almost half as large as the number of deaths extraneous fetal tissue removals we've had in the USSA since abortion was legalized!

It's good to see our various tiny bloodsucking comrades coming back, isn't it?

FORWARD!

Most equal extrapolation on the subject of blood suckers, R.O.C.K.!


In college, I had a boyfriend who was "chosen" to be in the "accelerated" English class. I wanted to be in it, too. Especially since I had excellent grades in English and spelling (perfect scores) and very high SAT scores, as well.


Was denied and had to repeat all the stuff I did in high school. Boring.


Found out later that Rachel Carson's Silent Spring, among other leftist books were on the reading list, which my friend bragged about later.


I will never know why I was denied this perceived "privilege" but it could have been that my father was in the military.


Later, when I mentioned to my friend that Rachel Carson was mistaken and many people died because of this, he dismissed me by saying, "I didn't come here to argue." I haven't heard from him since.


Please know that this all happened before I became a newly-minted Prog! I was for it before I was against it!


There! I've set things straight!