The People's Cube - Political Satire

The San Diego Mental Conditioner Gazette -


San Diego mayor Bob “The Predator” Filner, has succumbed to the relentless pressure of teabaggers and other national hate groups seeking to drive him from office. The non-stop name calling and unfounded accusations seem to have finally taken their toll. In a brief press statement earlier today Filner sobbed, “It is with great reluctance and a sense of deep regret that I've agreed to the wishes of family and friends. I'll be spending the next few weeks in counseling for what my doctors call A.I.P.T.S.D.W.P.L.A.E." (Abuse Induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder With Possible Lingering After Effects)

Doctors we consulted about Filner's case were uncertain as to treatment method, but agreed that time away from the stresses of daily mayoral duties should prove helpful. “His condition is not unique,” stated a local psychologist familiar with the case. “Many politicians are hounded by women seeking relationships with powerful men. Most men simply succumb to these aggressive women by giving them what they seek. Other more sensitive men, such as the mayor, find themselves conflicted. Their natural morality tells them “no”, but their physical desires can lead them astray. I'm afraid our mayor has been pressed to his limits and needs some time to recover and regain his sense of balance.”

Headlines surrounding the case in recent weeks seem to confirm the doctor's conclusion. Unsubstantiated stories of harassment, molestation, insults, unwanted propositions, groping, head-locks, and accusations too numerous to list here have filled media outlets. Supporters of mayor Filner have dismissed the charges and labeled the women as being of questionable character.

The mayor, in a demonstration of self restraint and good natured humility, has openly forgiven the women and tolerated their abuse till recently. However, every man has his breaking point. It seems the mayor has reached his. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Comrade Craptek,

I wondered how long it would take for the truth to finally surface. Wonderful journalism comrade. The unfeeling and down right hurtful Repugnicants will not keep a good man down. Just ask Comrade Weiner. It will take a lot more than 20 or 30 of these completely innocent staffers untruthful prostitutes to bring down the pillar of San Diego I promise you that.

Cuddly Chairman Meow wrote:I don't understand the controversy or why this is being reported in the media. Did Comrade Mayor change party affiliation to the Rethugikkkans?

Comrade Meow,

The answer to your question is...

I can't remember what topic of this thread is and I don't want to scroll back up or the boobies will not be on my screen anymore.

PS: Boobies.